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Redman is not online. Last active: 4/16/2009 4:56:09 PM Redman
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PORT ROYAL GOSSIP COLUMN!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 07:02 PM
PORT ROYALE GOSSIP COLUMN

Hello kiddies,

Welcome to my first gossip column. What better way to start then with a steamy story of love between two paladins. It was revealed to me kiddies your humble scribe that two of the Port's newer paladins were seen caressing and coddling each other in our very own Cafe Del Mar'. The female paladin was said to be sitting on the chubby paladins lap for quite some time as they kissed for more than an hour!!!! The sounds of metal clanking could be heard as far away as the P&J Tour Shop!!! Steam was seen rising out of the chubby paladins armor for quite some time....was it the heat from his mug of coffee or was it the heat from the torrid love these two share!!??!?!

There is only one question that remains dear readers.....that is when will we be seeing little tin knights running around??? WHEN?!?! More importantly....do they know how babies are made?! According to one Candy who works near the Cutlass she says Cedrych will have no problem. This was accompanied by a wink and at her request I was asked to pass this on to Cedrych. She wants to know if you want your change back.

ROSEN AND CEDRYCH....THE PORT MUST KNOW!!!! Will your love affair lead to children? When is the wedding date? So many questions dear readers and so little time. Stay tuned to this very newspaper for further updates on the this juicy story folks more is sure to follow!!


Signed

N. the S.

Remember kiddies where there’s smoke there’s fire...and if there’s not we will start one!!
Fictrix is not online. Last active: 9/9/2015 1:55:48 AM Fictrix
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 08:23 PM
"It's true. It's all true," says a well-known and trusted Gnome whom everyone simply calls 'Slide'. "I'm telling you... I don't know what's gotten into paladins these days. Their god kicks them out of their city, and next thing you know, they're all over each other. Suddenly, none of the old values matter any more. Everyone here remember the Lucius and Ulalume goss that was going around a while back? That's what I mean. That's exactly what I mean.

"Candy says that she's been getting a lot of business from ex-paladins, in fact. Got a lot of clientele lately. But that's about what you'd expect. Suddenly, there aren't any more rules; discipline and self-restraint goes down the drain, and everything just sinks into depravity and moral corruption.

"But of course, they'll deny it. They'll deny everything. I'm telling you... without us watching from the shadows and observing and recording it all faithfully and truthfully... well, you'd never discover the truth. Now, if Midor had upstanding citizens such as us lurking in every corner, it wouldn't be in the state it's in now.

"Case in point: the paladins. That just says it all, really. It's disgusting what they've degenerated into. I always thought they had more sense and willpower than that."
Rosen is not online. Last active: 1/31/2008 4:55:50 PM Rosen
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 08:51 PM
*a letter sent to the Opinion section of the Tribune*

Normally I would not reply to libelous statements out of course. However, as the Tribune is one of the few sources of information that find their way into the public ear, I am compelled to respond.

The statements made in the recent gossip section of your newspaper, concerning Sir Cedrych von Maistlin and myself, are wholly false. There is not a single shred of truth to the author's rant, not a single factoid that is not fabricated, save one: I do hold Maistlin in the highest regard, as do many. Despite the black mark of an ex-Midoran across his chest, there are few who have met him that can find the will to dislike the man; simply put, he is kindhearted, forthright, and virtuous without ostentation.

This, however, is secondary to the greater issue.

Currently, there are numerous threats and dangers to Vives that might easily serve as "gossip." Among them are the goings on in Midor, the mass-rising of reptiles under some shadowy hand, and the workings of the Illumine Alliance. There are truly innumerable subjects which would serve to tittilate the masses, and so it is perhaps hypocritical to bring this up defensively. I am only human.

The Tribune is, perhaps unfairly, under a charge to both inform and entertain the public simultaneously. In doing so, it may be tempting to sink past what is ethical in an effort to make ends meet in a ruthlessly profit-driven industry. The whole of you are natives to Port Royale, therefore I'm certain I preach to the choir in this regard. That said, I would ask that you examine your practices and greater purpose as a news source. Do your words serve the common good? Do they enlighten? Or do they coddle - do they insulate from a reality that may be hard to accept?

The people, more than ever, require examples of integrity. The Tribune is in a pivotal place to shine as one such example, challenging corruption, trumping ignorance, and serving as a beacon of truth in an age of disinformation. Can it be done while still running a paper in the black? It is my belief that such a thing is possible.

Respectfully,
Rosenellia Vimes

True solace is finding none, which is to say, it is everywhere.
-Gretel Ehrlich
True Darkness is not online. Last active: 6/16/2006 4:30:11 PM True Darkness
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 09:32 PM
Good day, good day, god day, Bohnito day!

Soon the work shall rightfully recognize Bohnito Day, but until then, I will prove mathematical proof that in fact, Cedrych and Rosen were in fact making out and are ready to spread the love affair to make children.

First off, you have Rosen, in other worse, “Rose with an n” and finally to break it down to the correct gnomish makesencablenessity, Seithannrwo (for the non-gnome in the reader-ance, we’ve rearranged the letters).

Second, you have Cedrych, which any gnome worth their abacus will tell you actually translates to Winhant in the ancient gnomish tongue.

Strangly, if you take Winhant away from Seithannrwo, you’re left with four letters. R O S E.

Clearly, and one can easily tell that without the two together there is an unbalanced side of the Universal Equation of Vives leaving a non-radical value for our Gnomish Constant, which even an orc can tell you is completely, bad cheese.

In conclusion, while we appreciate Ms. Rosen’s response, we will have to cast it aside due to simple logic.

Cedrych and Rosen are in fact in the process of making children. Tune in next week for the mathematical proof of what the children will look like.

-B
Aphexion is not online. Last active: 2/15/2007 12:48:13 AM Aphexion
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 10:53 PM
*as posted in the next printing of the gossip column*

I jus thought I might say that I found miss Rosalie's talk of mass risin of illumin alleeunce reptilans workin by a shadowy hand was truly upsettin. They done so much good fer everyone around thats got a bisnus. My own cousun got a job bildin them signs thats springin up like mushrums all over. Jobs is good, so they has to be I says. Besides, by the sounds of things she likes to do the smoochie-smooch in public places with her frends.

*signed*

Bim Wipple
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 13 Jun 2006 11:43 PM
Well, I mean *obviously*, anyone who was at Lucky's meeting could see that Ced was just about dying with the need to hold her hand and stuff. -I- saw it, but, you know, I'm not a gossip so I didn't say anything except to Wil and Nadie and Shara and what's-her-name at the cafe, 'cause like, that's where we were when we talked about this DAYS ago. Seriously, this is old news by, like, a week at least. Not that anything will come of it, right, 'cause, you know. Paladins. Always ready to go off and -die- for someone but the instant they want to *live* for themselves, they go all yellow in the middle and freak out like children and it's totally sad. I mean you'd think someone who fights for the ideals of a god would be more mature. It's totally a shame people can't just be honest with themselves like *I* am, you know? I mean, everyone would just be so much better off. Anyway, I can totally tell you that Rosie feels super hot whenever Ricky's around, and seriously, can you blame her? He's totally cuddle-worthy and those EYES!

*dreamy sigh*

I mean, seriously, if he wasn't already in total love with her, I'd probably try to let him compete for me, but you know I totally like Rosie so I won't. And Kaltar is seriously a sweety and did I tell you that I'm letting him court me? I mean, I haven't made up my mind yet, obviously, but it's nice to finally meet a man who isn't afraid to reach for some serious ambition and swallow his emotional baggage in order to prove himself worthy of greatness. You'd think a paladin would be looking to do the same thing, but the instant any real *feelings* are involve, they just run off scared and it's like, 'Oh, but I have to totally hurt and beat myself and starve and deprive myself in order to do good!" as though doing good for *themselves* didn't count, you know?

Sheesh. Anyway, what were you saying?

"I've got a sword and it's a good one, but all the bleedin' thing can do is keep someone alive, listen. A song can keep someone immortal!" - Cohen the Barbarian
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 14 Jun 2006 02:59 AM
That man CVM is a true danger to society. Not only is he the worst purple badger boogie performer in existence, but he’s an exhibitionist and the archetype of a womaniser. With our own four eyes have we seen him strip in the Ender’s tent. The man has no moderation and wanted every single woman’s attention. Through vile magicks F. could sense – I was too shocked by what I saw – he had them all beguiled. It was mind magic of the worst sort, such as that only seen used by liches, for clearly the Ender and the merchant there only saw him dressed in the finest robes. Well let me tell you, no such paltry illusions can blind me and I saw him for what he truly was: a chubby, leery old man. He strutted around in nothing but a dirty loincloth, which was half concealed by an enormous beer belly. Truly it’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon, apart from having to look up at Nu’men’s true form.

The woman RV, can’t be a paladin either. You should have seen the look in her eyes when CVM made those poor women touch him. One would think that a paladin would be revolted, instead I saw pure want and lust. We have encountered many disgusting things in our lives, but never have we seen anything so… revolting!

But fear not, for I have the solution to all our problems. We can now proudly present you F’s Barf o’ Disiacum. You spray a tiny bit on the offending parties and they’ll be immediately repulsed of each other. There are still a few side effects, such as those sprayed getting purple eyebrows, but in our humble opinions this is more of an improvement really. Because this plague – and do not be mistaken, it IS a plague – has spread through the lands like a wildfire, we now offer one extra flacon for every two you buy!

F & F

PS: do not use the flacon on your spouse, unless you’re getting tired of her.

Luther McIath: I see, so [X is] the right person in the wrong place with the wrong people at the wrong time.

[Fictrix] ... And can speak French, like both! Wait, I mean Elven.
pdwalker is not online. Last active: 4/28/2020 8:46:52 PM pdwalker
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 14 Jun 2006 06:34 AM
Aye! that's more like it. But I have a sure fire way for you to make more money.

More Pictures!

The boys and I were talking and we were saying that we would pay money for pictures of them.. "in armoure" And keep the words simple. A lot of the boys dont read too good, but the understand picutres just fine.

"A concerned Sailor"

Purpose in life: finding better ways of allowing players to kill themselves. Repeatedly.
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And makes the world taste good."
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<@James42> Lawful good isn't in your vocabulary, it's on your menu.
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 14 Jun 2006 06:20 PM
*Overheard from a grumpy, moustached paladin trudging through the Port Royale marketplace*

"Bah, we barely held hands, and such an outcry. Have the people of Port Royale become so bored that the lives of two paladins are so interesting? Is the simple act of holding hands so scandalous here? I'm fairly certain two people can hold hands in Midor without such fuss. Who knew Port Royale was so prudish?"

The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for...

-- Ernest Hemingway
Kalannar Illistynn is not online. Last active: 5/19/2008 1:58:32 AM Kalannar Illistynn
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 14 Jun 2006 07:18 PM
*cough, cough* ((A pallid and guant greyskinned Half-elf stands in the port and reads the paper, scoffing.))

*mumbles under his breath* No wonder they ain had no time ta help me wid me afflicshun... an no wonder Ulalume had ta take over wid helpin me... She dinna even mention me afflicshun... oh, aye, I fergot by bein mad: tis a secret... well they culd at least try ta focus on gettin folks helped. I means if they're paladins...

*reads Karlina's publication again and sighs* perhaps I ought ta seek out Balthor an see if he can make a guantlet wid a lil finger tha works instead o' a total hand tha's made o metal...

((crumples the paper and walks slowly off...)) *cough, cough, wheeze*

"Life is a short trip... travel light"
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T'mok Gurzi is not online. Last active: 2/24/2010 7:45:00 PM T'mok Gurzi
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 17 Jun 2006 11:16 AM
*walks into the Cafe rumpled, filthy and spattered with hob blood from days of wandering the countryside, orders a glass of wine, and notices a stray paper upon a table. Sits down and reads*

*chuckles and thinks*

'hm...appears not even the 'best' of us can deny our urges to mix a couple spoons of man-made life extract into the baby batter.'

*smiles and shakes head as he flops the paper down on the table. Puts feet up on table leans back and closes eyes thinking of the surpassing purity and innocence of an infant over even the paladins.*

T'mok Gurzi
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patron for the noble yet drink addled
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Vince Klortho is not online. Last active: 2/19/2018 5:51:45 PM Vince Klortho
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 17 Jun 2006 12:48 PM
Ulalume entered Port Royale weary, but contented. Her latest week-long excursion had met with little monetary gain, but she had saved a few lives, settled a few disputes, and felled not a few beings of evil. Her resplendent white armor was spattered with gore and ichor from the trips into the catacombs, caves, and swamps, and her hair was matted with salt spray and sweat. Her thoughts for the past day or so had orbited constantly around a nice long soak at the public bath.

She made her way slowly up Coastal Avenue, passing Miss Miggins and the entrance to the sewers, and headed into the slightly musty-smelling environs of the baths. She disrobed in the proper area, stacking her armor carefully and wrapping it in a cloth, so its muck didn't soil other things in her pack. She sighed, and reckoned she would be spending about four hours cleaning and polishing tonight. Someday someone should invent a magical armor that was repellent to muck, or at least was self-cleaning, she thought with a smile.

She entered the bath and picked up a copy of the tribune to peruse as she soaked. It was late in the day, and only one other woman was in sight. The warm water felt like a wonderful dream to her aching joints, and she allowed herself a small sound of delight as she slipped in. What sort of mischief is going on these days, she wondered...

She nearly slipped completely under the water when she saw the headline. Instead she sprayed her sole companion with a cascade as she caught herself from falling - the woman did not look amused.

"I - I am so terribly sorry!" Ulalume stuttered, utterly embarassed. The woman glowered at her a moment, then rose wordlessly and left Ulalume alone. Ulalume chewed on her lip; she would have to track the woman down and make it up to her somehow. For now, she returned her attentions to the crisis at hand.

She read the article, her face a mass of furrows. This definitely didn't sound like Rosen or Cedrych... perhaps they had been ensorceled, somehow? She shook her head - you leave town for a week, and everything goes to pot.

It wasn't that she disapproved, exactly - paladins of the now-defunct Order of Midoran weren't required to take a vow of chastity; in fact, there were long lines of Paladin familes with countless generations who had gone through the Academy, including her own. If Rosen and Cedrych had found something together that gave them a moment of happiness in this world, the only thing she could feel in herself was a slight ache of envy. She had known that.. once. She had even thought for a brief moment that she might be able to know that with Cedrych, but his interest in her had alway been purely professional, and she dropped the idea as soon as it had entered her head. No, the man she loved was now likely forever out of her reach, and the only other she had felt a crush for was now, she suspected, somehow mixed up in the evil of the walking dead. With her track record, she felt the most prudent course of action was to resign herself to the fact that the only love she would know was the love of the Coruscanti, the dim light that glowed everywhere, but was so faint that it was only visible in the darkest of times.

She looked at the paper again. Aye, if her compatriots had found a light in each other... she prayed that it might never go out.

"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."

-Radra
Redman is not online. Last active: 4/16/2009 4:56:09 PM Redman
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! PALADINS IN LOVE AT THE CAFE!!!!
Posted: 29 Jun 2006 09:55 AM
PORT ROYAL GOSSIP COLUMN

HELLO KIDDIES!!!!

I’m back with some more juicy, juicy gossip!!! With all the new people moving to the Port because of certain religious issues there seems to be a huge upswing in gossip, and have I got some for you today! It seems a certain female bard by the name of Karli.....her last initial being "G", has been making the rounds with quite a few young dashing men in the Port. I recently had a chance to speak with patrons of the Broken Mask and they all concurred with this juicy scoop!!!

It seems that this rather well endowed bard has offered certain services to a rather handsome young wizard that goes by the name of Lucius, last initial being "E", in return for a dress.....not too mention a rather stunning amulet that was given to her in front of many patrons of the Mask. Now dear readers it goes without saying that this Karli knows how to handle herself! *wink*wink* As for this Lucius chap....well good on ya!
Recent reports have this bardic beauty sharing favors with another young suitor by the name of Tailon. Even paladins aren’t safe. The legendary Byron Lorian was seen dining with her at the Four Winds a few nights ago. These paladins just can’t control themselves....PRAISE MIDOR!!!

To top this all off dear readers. This siren of song appears to have a rather serious addiction to stimulants. She was seen slurring her words and talking to no one in particular in the Port the other day, as well as yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs at people. Bald Rick was not amused!! Clearly this poor lass has a problem.

Well dear readers until we meet again this has been your roaming reporter doing the dirty work.

Remember if its not news well make it news!!!!

N. the S.
Robber Barron is not online. Last active: 12/22/2006 3:22:05 PM Robber Barron
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! FLOOZIE BARD MAKING THE ROUNDS OF PORT ROYALE!!!
Posted: 29 Jun 2006 01:08 PM
*a letter sent to the Opinion section of the Tribune*

I find it curious that your newspaper has not printed anything new about weighty matters in at least eleven fortnights, yet has no reservations about keeping the citizens of Port Royale up-to-date with misinformation about the love lives of travelling adventurers.

It would also appear, from my part in this tale, that your reporter needs spectacles, unless the Lucius E. he is referring to is a different person than the writer of this reply. I am neither particularly young, nor in the eyes of most, handsome.

I don't know what this nonsense about a dress is all about, but I did indeed give the young woman an amulet. If every time an adventurer shared the trinkets he picked up along his travels with another adventurer it was considered a prelude to carnal affections, you would find that most of us have little time for anything else. I would also remind the writer of this column that he himself gave me the gift of an item that many consider to be a large phallic symbol some time back - a gift that I very much appreciated. I didn't consider that gift to be a show of love and attraction, but did he?

For those that are interested, and I frankly think most readers of this newspaper are not, I do have a love life, but it does not involve the bard in question. My heart belongs to a petite young redhead with enchanting green eyes by the name of Dana. Any reports to the contrary are simple falsehoods.

I would also like to quote something from Rosenellia Vimes' reply to the rumours being spread about her, as I think it continues to be pertinent:

Currently, there are numerous threats and dangers to Vives that might easily serve as "gossip." Among them are the goings on in Midor, the mass-rising of reptiles under some shadowy hand, and the workings of the Illumine Alliance. There are truly innumerable subjects which would serve to tittilate the masses, and so it is perhaps hypocritical to bring this up defensively. I am only human.

The Tribune is, perhaps unfairly, under a charge to both inform and entertain the public simultaneously. In doing so, it may be tempting to sink past what is ethical in an effort to make ends meet in a ruthlessly profit-driven industry. The whole of you are natives to Port Royale, therefore I'm certain I preach to the choir in this regard. That said, I would ask that you examine your practices and greater purpose as a news source. Do your words serve the common good? Do they enlighten? Or do they coddle - do they insulate from a reality that may be hard to accept?

The people, more than ever, require examples of integrity. The Tribune is in a pivotal place to shine as one such example, challenging corruption, trumping ignorance, and serving as a beacon of truth in an age of disinformation. Can it be done while still running a paper in the black? It is my belief that such a thing is possible.


Regards,
Lucius Edmonds
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! FLOOZIE BARD MAKING THE ROUNDS OF PORT ROYALE!!!
Posted: 29 Jun 2006 01:12 PM
The editor reads through the letter, and frowns with a sigh.

Seeing that the rather uncouth gentleman who came in with the original article is still here, he gets up and hands the letter over.

The fact that the man takes only a brief look at it before throwing it away causes him a slight stab of guilt, but all he can do is shrug.

It's better than death.

The letter goes unprinted
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! FLOOZIE BARD MAKING THE ROUNDS OF PORT ROYALE!!!
Posted: 29 Jun 2006 01:38 PM
*Two young women walk up to a stand and purchase a paper*

“Well would you look at this. Karli the famous singer has a stimulant addiction. That’s so typical for these famous types. Don’t have anything to do with all there money. And this to. Making the rounds with all these men even one much older then she. Disgusting,” Says the one.

“Your just jealous,” says the other. “With her figure, I would be flaunting it even more.”

“Well how do you think she gets that figure? Stimulants.” Retorts the first.

“Jealous! Jealous! Jealous! You are. I wish I had half that voice and beautiful looks,” Says the second.

“Well, I just hope she gets that addiction under control. I would hate such talent go to waste. I bet you anything a couple of months from now we read in this paper: Young Star Found Dead Because of Drug Overdose! Its such a shame a star so bright burns out so quickly."
Marlena is not online. Last active: 12/15/2006 12:51:29 AM Marlena
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Re: EXTRA EXTRA!! FLOOZIE BARD MAKING THE ROUNDS OF PORT ROYALE!!!
Posted: 29 Jun 2006 04:49 PM
She left the Cross Cutlasses that morning in a daze of warmth and embarrasment. Allan Longblade... well... he was everything a girl could dream, wasn't he? And the foot rub! Dear goddess, the foot rub! And the way his muscles had... in the candlelight... I mean, seriously, it just wasn't natural, was it, for a man to be that... that...

"Perfect." Dreamy sigh!

The bar tender had given her funny smiles all through breakfast. He'd asked if the two of them had had a good night's sleep, wink-wink. Allan had, in his innocent baritone, replied that yes, he'd slept quite soundly. For her part, Karli acknowledged that she'd had the best night's sleep she's had in ages. How couldn't she? After that foot rub? Karli's passed into oblivion in a happy daze of carressing, sword-calloused hands. Allan had been there when she'd awoken, sleeping above the sheets and still stinking of his day's work with the troglodytes (Rosie was going to have to fill her in on details of that little outing!), but seeing him there was...

It was...

"Perfect." Another dreamy sigh.

With a sigh, Karli settled herself upon the bench by the fountain, just outside of Omni jewelers. The book Rosen had given her was going to be of great help, and the bardess settled once again on the fifth page, where began the long prayer to Midoran. Her lips moved in a slow dance of phonetics softly whispered as she studied the prayer, imprinting it's sounds in her mind, her eyes tracing the flow and sway of each carefully scribed letter. She ignored the appraising looks of male passers-by; those were old and tiresome, barely registering as events. But by the time Karli was on her third time through the old prayer, some part of her brain tapped her on the mental shoulder.

You've far exceeded your quotas of looks for the morning, it said. Karli lifted her big, blue eyes and at the same moment two young ladies looked away,and hunched back over a thin, folded piece of rag paper. The same rag paper that other people were reading, now that she looked. A gentleman across the plaza, standing near the palace gates; also glancing in her direction from time to time. Some fat old lady with four small children dangling possum-like from her body as they played near the entrance to the Royal Botannical Gardens; she was fairly much worshipping the paper in her hands, and as though by fate, met eyes with the bardess and favored the confused Karli with a sneer that would have withered an onion.

So Karli lifted her ears to the wind, and the two young ladies clucked to one another as they shuffled away.

Jealous? Stimulants? Drug overdose?

Well, the 'jealous' part - that was obvious to understand, and an old burden Karli had long become accustomed to bearing. Still... stimulants? The disconnected part of her mind tapped her mental shoulder again, and the inside of her left arm tingled. It had been over three weeks since her last Fix, but that was long. She'd once gone over six months, and the feeling had never gone away. Still... how did they know?

Karli shut her book and raced down to the lower level of Port, and bought a copy. The crier had given her a nervous but knowing smile and oh, wasn't he just the nicest today? Very nice to the famous Miss Karli G-something. Pursing her lips, Karli ripped the paper from his hands and quick-paced her way to the quiet retreat of Jessup's store to read. Again, the tap-tap-tapping on her mental shoulder, and the reminder that she was runningout of time, she didn't have time for this, time was racing and Midor was coming soon and wasn't the prayer book more important?

No. No it sure as bloody (*bleep*) wasn't!

An hour later, Karli lifted her lips toward the ceiling, opened her throat, and screamed.

"I'm FAMOUS!!!"

"I've got a sword and it's a good one, but all the bleedin' thing can do is keep someone alive, listen. A song can keep someone immortal!" - Cohen the Barbarian
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