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Cora - veil of shadow
Posted: 05 Feb 2006 02:47 AM |
((continued from this thread: Solace of the Shadows, for anyone interested in the full story. (her story really should have been here in storylines from the beginning, but I didn't think about that untill I had quite a few posts in that thread)
Also, this thread: The return of the Guyver, becomes very intertwined with hers... starting somewhere in the middle of page two. (for those who don't know)
And now, on with the show... hope you enjoy it.
I've certainly enjoyed writing it.)) |
"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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A new beginning
Posted: 05 Feb 2006 02:53 AM |
Cora pried the CLOSED sign off the door.
She smiled seductively at Tomi as he made his way past her and off down the alley.
After he rounded the corner out of sight she let out a soft sigh.
She felt sorry for him.
“guess he’ll learn his own way.” she muttered under her breath
She opened the door and went inside.
It wasn’t her concern. If he wanted to subject himself to the misery of love... and all it brought with it, it was something he would do on his own. She told him she would never love him... but she was open to having a purely physical relationship.
It had been a while since Johe left... and she was starting to go into withdrawals.
Another of life’s ironies, Johe had reawakened her... carnal desires.
All because of love.
So here she was, craving the indulgence of the flesh that she swore so long ago never to partake of ever again.
Only, now she could see it for what it was. Pleasure, pure and simple. An experience to be savored.
...A tool to be used.
And Tomi would suffer all the more for it.
A thin smile formed on her lips.
Something about the fact that he would endure the pains of love gave her satisfaction.
‘I’m doing him a favor’ she thought.
‘torture him a enough... he may even see the truth. Become... enlightened.
Give up this stupid idea of love.’
Yep, it was for his own good.
Cora looked around the shop, tossing the sign on the table.
“speaking of tools to be used...”
The guyver shop.
She looked at the book Johe had placed at the entrance... the one that told all about what it meant to be a guyver.
...fighting the meanies.
Cora couldn’t help but chuckle.
At least he knew enough to take matters into his own hands when needed. Wasn’t afraid of rubbing anyone the wrong way. By far his most redeeming quality, she thought.
And still, he managed to endear himself to so many...
Yes... the shop would be a tool, like any other.
His charm, still evident in the room... in the piles of junk and knickknacks scattered about the place... that charm could still be put to use.
Cora nodded silently to herself and turned to leave, locking the door behind her.
Zig would be in to open shop in the morning. Life would be back to normal.
Well... as normal as things can get in Port Royal.
She walked out of the alley and past the tour shop, stopping to take a long satisfied look at the reclaimed home of the Black Hand.
Now that the nightmasks were... removed, the time had come for the Hand to take its rightful place once again.
Only, this time, things would be different. This time, they truly belonged.
Tomorrow would see a new day... for the Guyver shop, for the Hand... for Port Royal.
...and for Cora.
A new beginning... |
"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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...in the -head- and the little one said...
Posted: 20 Feb 2006 12:34 PM |
.
“He’s here”
“he has returned”
Cora sat up quickly and looked around the room. For a moment she was disoriented. Tomi was fast asleep next to her... she stared at him a moment, as if expecting him to say something else, but the words came from insider her head... that cold familiar voice once again.
“You can sense him, can you not?”
She frowned, closing her eyes and trying to concentrate on... on what? Whom?
Someone she knew, perhaps.
“How would... how do I do that? I don’t understand...”
“It is one who uses the shadows… through me you can feel all who touch them... all who bend them to their purpose. There are many, and it will take time and practice for you to make sense of how to sort out what it is you are feeling.”
There was a short pause.
“However... this one, you are already very familiar with.” The voice had turned mischievous.
Cora cast another sideways glance at Tomi as he stirred slightly. Closing her eyes she tried to focus again, only to hear Tomi muttering incoherently in his sleep.
...she HATED when he did that.
Annoyed, she threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, making her way toward the washroom, and the tub...
But something made her stop dead in her tracks.
A handful of purple flowers lay on the floor by the bedroom door.
For a moment she stared at them, her mind refusing to accept the obvious truth these flowers represented.
He had been here...
He had come back...
And he must have seen...
Closing her eyes she focused all her energy on the shadows... searching for his presence.
...nothing.
Cora grunted softly in frustration, she could sense nothing familiar.
“You’ve done it before. Back when you would go with him on his mission to “rid the world of meanies”” that last statement was said with obvious amusement.
“You and him could feel each other in the shadows. Focus on that same presence”
“But he was right there next to me then, now he could be... anywhere”
“It doesn’t matter. The shadows are everywhere. Everywhere and nowhere... and all within my reach... within OUR reach.”
“Let me show you”
The room around her dissolved into shadow, as they crept out from every corner... every crevice... and the sensation of being crushed by the weight of thousands of faceless bodies overtook her. Cora’s knees buckled and she reached out to the wall to hold herself up, a painful grimace on her face.
“...it’s too much.”
But the sensations kept coming.
“You will adjust. Now focus!”
The shadows danced about her, the faceless bodies barely perceived as they dissolved in and out of the swirling darkness, and the distant echo of voices...as though they were a memory of a voice, drifted all about.
Nothing made sense. She could hear nothing intelligible, see no clear faces, and feel nothing but a sea of unfamiliarity.
Her eyes, still shut tight, began to water, and as she blinked to clear them her gaze fell upon the flowers that lay on the floor.
Cora shut her eyes quickly again, the image of those purple flowers burned into her mind...
And there he was.
The Guyver Knight.
Or rather, the shadow he commanded.
But they were so linked, that they felt as one, though now, unlike in the past, she could sense a distinction between them. Johe, and the shadow.
“You see? He has returned to Vives.”
The veil of shadow retreated, and as she opened her eyes, the room came back into focus... a wicked smile coming across Cora’s face as she contemplated the possibilities.
She bent down to pick up the flowers, staring at them a moment before she crushed them in her hand, muttering softly...
“Well... this should be interesting.”
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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Surfacing
Posted: 03 Mar 2006 03:02 AM |
.
Eyes squinting, Cora put her hand up to shield them from the sun as she emerged from the cave.
There was no telling what day it was. In the depths of the cavern, surrounded in shadow, time had passed ... but there was no rising or setting of the sun to tell just how much.
In fact, a few weeks had passed, though to her it could have been months.
Every waking moment had been spent in communion with the shadows...
“...you are one with the shadows now, they are a part of you...”
Only occasionally emerging from the black to get supplies... food, water and the like, and to check in with Mr J, toy with Tomi a bit, and keep an eye on Zig. (she had this nagging suspicion that Johe might try to talk Zig into spying for him, or just get him to leave the shop altogether) but then it was straight back to the caverns.
There the shadows were everywhere... thick... compliant... eager... they were much easier to command, taking a lot less concentration to bend them to ones will... draw them out... around...
“...in time you will develop new powers, powers you never dreamt of...
...powers born of the shadows...”
It was these powers she had been concentrating on, focusing on the one that was shown to her, while attempting to tap into others.
A veil of sorts... a barrier. A cloak made up of the very shadows themselves, protecting her in a way her armor couldn’t.
...It was this she finally had mastered... this art of pulling this shroud of shadows around her, and it was merely the beginning. The possibilities seemed to stretch out before her in an endless river of darkness... tributaries splintering off and interweaving every which way.
The only choice now, was which path to focus on next. Though, perhaps that was up to fate to decide.
But for now, it was time to rejoin the rest of the world. The part of it that wasn’t hidden from the light.
Time to get to work.
Time to confront Johe... set things in motion, and see where they lead.
Cora made her way toward Port Royal, lowering her hand now that her eyes had finally adjusted to the light.
Her eyes were darker than before... blacker, if that were possible.
Though no one was likely to notice... the difference in appearance was so subtle... so minute... to all but those most sensitive to the shadows at least.
Somewhere in the depths of her soul, she wondered if Johe would notice.
...and even deeper still, she wondered if he would care.
Some say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
But if that were true... there would be no black dark enough.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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...broken
Posted: 10 May 2006 03:52 AM |
.
Time passed.
Johe stayed away.
Tomi became a permanent fixture in her bed. And others, not so permanent fixtures...
The Hand got back to business... and then some.
Her connection with the shadows continued to grow... her connection with him, continued to grow. It was at times like a mentor. At other times, like a parent. And still other times... like a lover. Yet, always so much more than that.
And all around her, the world came into sharper focus... which was ironic, considering she now saw things through a veil of shadow.
It all seemed to make more sense now. For the first time in her life, she understood why things were so screwed up. Why she had always been so screwed up.
People were ruled by their emotions.
Some more than others.
Some without the faintest clue that that was the case, in complete denial.
Some fully embracing their passions... their “condition,” living life from one emotional high to the next.
Some thinking that by giving themselves over to their passions, it made them strong, powerful... a force to be reckoned with.
Cora knew that giving into emotions made one weak.
Yes there was a type of strength there... but it was a volatile strength. Unpredictable. Unstable. Dangerous. And at the mercy of anyone skilled at manipulating those emotions.
True strength comes from the detached, astute mind.
The ability to approach life unencumbered by impulsive, chaotic emotion.
Ever since that day... in the depths of shadow... where two became as one...
Her mind had been freed.
She was strong.
She was in control.
Never again would she be tossed about like a ship in a storm... her emotions tearing her to pieces like that same ship dashed upon the rocks.
She was master over her emotions.
Never again would they rule her.
She was...
Angry.
“Come out here, you coward!”
Cora glanced around the entrance hall. She knew he was here. She could feel him in the shadows. He apparently had had enough of keeping away.
A brief stabbing pain jolted through her chest as he stepped out from the doorway and said calmly. “lookin' fer me?”
She was...
“why are you here?” crossing her arms, spitting the words out hatefully. ‘he’s got some nerve, showing his face around here’ she thought. ‘Remember, anger is an emotion that can be manipulated as well. Don’t let it control you either’
He quirked an eyebrow, looking her in the eye. “me an' Jessup gots bizniss, you gots tha store luv don' flatter yerself an' think yer gettin' any more uf me”
She was...
Laughing... a cold, mirthless laugh. “Me flatter myself?
Like I would want you back after what you did to me”
‘I ought to kill him now, while I have the opportunity’ ‘patience’
“oh? an' wut mite that be?” He seemed genuinely surprised, then added coldly. “did I cheet on ya or sumthin?”
Her blood began to boil. ‘cheat on me? You cheated us all, you bastard’ she could feel herself loosing control, and before she could stop herself, said
“The only reason I haven’t killed you now, is because Mr. J probably does have business with you”
Johe just stood there speechless... the look on his face betraying how he felt. However, Cora didn’t notice, for she was desperately trying to hold back the surge of emotions he was causing to well up within her.
She was...
Losing the fight.
Softly she said “you left me to rot Johe... when I needed you most. You just left me...”
There was a brief hint of sadness evident on her face as the pain of loss and despair she had felt when Johe had left her, trickled through the barriers surrounding her heart...
but another surge of anger quickly overshadowed it. ‘NO! I WILL NOT GIVE IN’
He cleared his throat and said in a whisper. “I cum back soon as I culd luv...”
She was...
Mentally composing herself, she snorted softly “its too late now... I don’t need you anymore”
‘you had your shot, and you blew it. I’m doing it my way now... our way...’
‘yes’
His eyes turned cold. “yeah I rekun so... tell mista Jessup I bin lookin' fer 'im”
She replied, equally as cold. “I'll do that”
Johe cleared his throat, turning to leave. “I'll seeya”
As icy as she could manage she spat. “I hope not”
And then he was gone. Enveloped in the shadows once again.
She was...
‘...weak.’ she thought with a frown. ‘How could I let him affect me like that?’
She was not as strong as she had thought.
She was not master of her emotions.
Johe still got to her... able to wreak havoc on her emotions... nothing like how she used to be, but he still managed to draw them out.
She wasn’t as in control as she wanted to be.
She had done her best to empty herself of them, but it was now apparent that some remained.
‘I can do this...’ she thought.
The plan remained the same
She nodded to herself
Just the means would be different. If she couldn’t be rid of these emotions all together, then it seemed the best she could do was bury the feelings deep down in the darkest pit of her soul.
And darkness was a very familiar friend these days.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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The Dance
Posted: 14 Sep 2006 11:53 PM |
.
Much time had passed... Johe had become a memory... as did much of her life.
((it’s been far too long since I wrote in here. Here’s hoping I can keep up on this ))
“ 'eya Cora. Where ya been?” said Tomi.
Cora turned around in her chair... away from the stacks of papers on the desk in front of her which were growing to an insurmountable level... threatening to take over the back room entirely. If it had been bad when Johe owned the shop, it was ten times worse now... and that was sayin something.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Tomi just had one of his adorable boyish grins on his face... she hated when he did that. Meant he was up to something... and it usually involved an attempt to toy with her emotions. She never gave in... none the less, it still irked her that he continued to try.
“I asked ya first"
“I’ve been... busy.”
“Oh? Wha's ya been up ta?”
‘Here we go’ she thought.
Cora turned around to face the paperwork once again.
Tomi continued. “I's been askin Jessup if'n 'e knows, an' even 'e doesn' 'ave any idea wha' yer up ta, er where ya is half tha time.”
“Yeah, well... it’d be kinda silly if I had to check in with him every day, now wouldn’t it?”
“S'ppose so”
There was a long pause, before he spoke again.
“Cora, I knows we ain' eva really been much fer talkin', but seems like ya ain' talkin' a' all anymores. I's jus' worried 'bouts ya is all”
Cora continued to shuffle papers around the desk without saying a word... thinking to herself.
‘You’ll find out soon enough... best be worryin about yourself and whether you’ve got what it takes or not’
Then the other voice in her head.
‘You know what has to be done if he doesn’t’
She shouted back in her thoughts. ‘I KNOW!’
Continuing much more calmly ‘I know very well what has to be done...’
‘You really need to control your temper...’
‘YES...’ Cora sighed softly, while Tomi gave up waiting for a response and turned to head out.
‘ yes, I know’
She heard the door open and Tomi spoke much softer now. "Righ'. Well I's goin' fer a bite ta eat. Talkin ain' doin' a bit o' good. I dunno when I's gonna b' home, but dun b' waitin up fer me"
‘what happens after... if he passes?’
‘that all depends’
Cora realized she hadn’t heard the door close and was about to turn to see if he had left yet or not, when she heard Tomi say very softly “See ya 'round Cora”, and the door clicked shut.
She frowned slightly.
‘I meant... is he to be told about you? ...about, -us-?’
‘No’
‘...but he has potential...’
‘I did not choose him, I chose you. Rest assured, his talents shall be put to use. But you will not tell him of me. I shall speak to him myself, if I ever have need.
Is that understood?’
‘perfectly’ she thought, with some annoyance.
‘Good... now come to me... I wish to see your progress.’
A slight shiver ran down her spine.
Cora got up out of her chair, blew out the candles on the desk and closed her eyes to concentrate. She was much better at it now... though she still had yet to get used to the ...sensation.
Her thoughts drifted back to what it was like the first time.
How far she had come, in such a relatively short time... but only because he helped her.
~*~
That first time, it was not unlike... being born. Or at least what she could imagine the sensation of being born to be like. Grabbed hold of, and ripped into another world against ones will... only, instead of a world filled with light... it was into one of darkness... so very cold, and alien... completely disorienting.
Though, at the time, she had been so overcome with the flood of emotion that he was no longer holding back, that it all seemed so fuzzy now. She could hardly remember it at all.
It was like being pulled through a wall of shadows... only, not really a wall... more like a river, turned on its side... a river of shadow... and this... river, it flowed through walls, it flowed through stone, through earth, through fire, through water... even through flesh.
But how could that be? How could it go -through- something? Light didn’t go through things... most everyone would agree on that. The fact that it didn’t go through things was the very reason there were shadows. But now Cora was beginning to wonder if -that- were true either.
Then he said that he would teach her to do it herself.
“...in time you will develop new powers, powers you never dreamt of...”
He was right about that... Pulling the shadows around her, to wear as a sort of armor, was one thing... but she never would have expected something like this.
So there she had stood, in the back room of the guyver shop... most of the lights out, and her eyes closed.
‘Concentrate! Feel the flowing shadows before you. Reach out to them... Touch them. Only, this time, do not bring them around -you-, but rather... this time, -you- go to -them-.’
Even with his help, it took several tries before she could even -feel- the ...river, or whatever it was.
But THEN what...? Try as she might, it remained apart from her.
‘You must enter the flow... penetrate the shadows’
‘How? Jump into th...?’
‘NO! Do not think of it as a river, for it is much more than that... it is alive, it is aware. You cannot simply jump into this as you do when you jump into the shadows and pull them over you to shield you from the eyes of your enemies.’
Beads of sweat began to form upon her brow. Her eyes shut tight in concentration... they were there... right -there-. But every time she tried to touch them, they were beyond her grasp.
‘Everything you have done up till now, has been a manipulation of the shadows... and only the shadows. YOU have remained as you are.’
Cora took a step closer, but it remained out of reach.
‘to do this, you must manipulate the shadows, AND yourself... penetrate... let them penetrate -you-... become one with the shadows...
-become- the shadows’
She lunged out at the darkness before her, only to feel a sharp pain as she caught her hip on the edge of the desk, and stumbled to the floor...
For a moment she lay there, aware of nothing but the throbbing pain in her hip. Then finally letting out a soft sigh of frustration.
More moments passed. The once dim lights that were still lit across the room now seemed almost blinding.
Still nothing.
‘When you attack your enemies, do you charge in like some barbarian, or brainless foot soldier with a club, and try to throw your weight around? Or do you swing your blade in a flurry of movement, hoping that -some- of your blows will land?’
‘No, you analyze your opponent, observe his movements, keeping out of his reach, holding your strike till just the right moment... when he is most vulnerable. You rely on your quickness... you use finesse.’
‘Why is it then, that you feel you can club the shadows over the head, as a barbarian would?’
An even bigger sigh, as these words made complete sense.
‘Again, do not think of it as a river you can merely jump into... the shadows are alive... just as the shadows cast from a flickering flame dance across the wall, so too, must -you- dance with them.’
Cora got slowly to her feet.
Her eyes closed, concentrating... once again she could feel the river of shadow before her.
“Dance with them” she whispered quietly to herself.
They were there... RIGHT THERE! But still they remained, just out of reach... mocking her.
“Dance”
‘take my hand... I will help you’
‘take your hand? What... how?’
Without knowing exactly why, Cora raised her arms as though waiting for an imaginary partner.
“Dance... with me”
In that moment, the “flat” surface... of this river of darkness, became as a crowd of people... extending out into the distance, and moving in to surround her.
She felt as though an arm was around her waist... felt the caress of a hand across her cheek. For a fleeting moment she imagined it was Johe... but the image of his face that she could see in her mind was quickly shrouded in darkness. Then a hand took hers and she began to move... -they- began to move... or was she moving at all? Perhaps the room was moving around her, sometimes spinning, sometimes lilting... as the “arms” pulled her close.
‘Now... come to me!’
The dance went on... as the room continued to move about her, and the crowd that surrounded her began to close in.
She felt cold.
Empty.
The dance went on...
...As though a thousand lifetimes had passed and everything she was had decayed and been forgotten.
The dance went on...
She felt a panic coming on as she pictured herself in a grave... dead and left to rot. She was about to try to claw her way out when a voice pierced through the dark.
‘LOOK AT ME!’
She tried to look in the direction of the voice, but it was no use, it could have come from any direction.
And on...
The “crowd” of shadows now seemed to her like an angry mob... they surged forward and back, in a wave of anger. She could feel their malice... sensed that they wanted to hurt someone. And soon began to realize, that someone was her.
And on...
The panic took her fully as the hands that had felt as those of a lover dancing with his bride, now began to shove and pull her in all directions.
She felt as though she were being carried off... drifting aimlessly on a sea of hands, each hand piercing her... twisting and contorting her from within.
And on...
The cold became a sweet numbness, as everything began to dissolve away
She had been there too long... but she didn’t belong there... she was not one of them... or was she?
‘REMEMBER YOURSELF! DO NOT FORGET WHO YOU ARE!
Another hand pierced her... this one felt like it gripped her very soul and began to shake as if attempting to wake her. She opened her mouth to cry out in agony, but no sound was heard.
Then she saw them.
Those eyes. Glowing amidst the black.
He was a part of her... and she a part of him.
And then she remembered her name. ‘...Cora.’
She could feel his hand in hers once more, the multitude of other hands withdrawing from her, and the crowd parting before her as he led her forward...
And as though stepping out of a dream, the dark room began taking shape before her eyes, and once again she felt the cold... the cold that now penetrated to her very core.
Cora collapsed, shivering in a heap at his feet on the dungeon floor.
‘Rest... you have done well’
Warmth began to slowly seep back in, as sleep overtook her.
~*~
Tomi returned later that night, to an empty room.
She no longer forgot herself now. And the time it took for the “dance” was getting shorter the more she practiced. She was even learning to go other places... but only where the shadows were abundant. And still, every time she did, she felt cold and empty for a while after.
‘Someday I’ll get used to that’ she thought.
...she hoped.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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why?
Posted: 25 Mar 2007 04:26 PM |
((apologies in advance for not doing more with this... I really wanted to get more into what was going on in her head, but I just havent had the time... but I needed to get this out there, before other events overtook it and it was lost forever. Oh, and apologies for the transition (or lack thereof) from the previous post to this one... no warning whatsoever. *smirks*))
“we gonna talk or wut?” Johe stood before her, now able to see her even in the shadows.
“we have nothing to talk about Johe”
Cora made a mental note to inflict some manner of pain upon Alton, for casting the spell of seeing on Johe.
“that so?”
She crossed her arms. “yeah.. that's so...”
“c'mon then I'd like ta show ya sumthin then we'll see if ya still think so”
“I've seen everything you have to show, Johe...”
adding in a slightly sarcastic tone, “been there, done that”
Johe nodded a bit. “you ain' seen this” his eyes narrowed dangerously. “now c'mon”
Cora gave a soft snort “...fine”
As she started down the alley, she Glared at Alton who was engaged in conversation with Talion and Fenn, and said through clenched teeth: “just when you least expect it...”
Alton replied, somewhat cocky she thought, “Bah, I got a hair trigger and implosions!”
Under her breath as she rounded the corner. “your gonna have a lot worse than that...”
Johe opened up the Guyver shop and stepped inside, not even waiting for her to catch up.
She stepped inside, glancing around at the darkened room and said in a very sarcastic voice, “love what you've done with the place...”
“yer frends seem ta 'ave dun sum redecratin'”
Unable to hold back a smirk, “what... you don't like it?”
“Cant do bizniss like this luv not good fer eether uf us”
She shrugged “I'm doin just fine, thank you”
He nodded a bit. “okie dokie, but yer frends need ta go”
A sly grin crossed her face. “Oh?”
Then mockingly in a little girl voice, “is wittle Johe afwaid of da dark?”
He just glowered at her
“Why doncha go look in tha bedroom where ya kept yer new toys”
She gave a soft snort “I already know you got rid of the "neck-biters" stuff. Don't worry.. I didn't have any real attachment to it... sooner or later, they'd have come looking for it anyway.”
“Look, things is gonna git reel innerestin, reel soon. Afore it dus you needs ta 'ear sumthin'”
Cora sighed, rolling her eyes “was this what I needed to see? I've gotta listen to more of your bullshit?”
Johe sighed as well, looking down at his hands. “Cora I know this ain' you, I KNOW yer in there sumwhere, I ain' givin' up on you. I dun me best by you Cora, I know I culda dun better an' I'm sorry, I reely am”
Another smirk. “you're right Johe, I -am- in here... and I remember all to well all of the empty promises you made before.. how have things changed?”
“if they wus such emty promises wut 'm I doin' 'ere now?!”
She looked him over slowly, a slight sneer on her lips. “I dunno... groveling like the pathetic thing you are?”
“If I didn' cae 'bout you I culda bin long gone by now instead o' wreckin' my life, an' 'parently gettin' redy ta git killed cus I cum back fer you!”
Her eyes narrowed a bit. “So thats it, is it? You think I need to be -saved-?"
“call it wutcha want, fine I'm 'ere grovelin' fer tha gerl wut I luv, YOU an yer... -frends-” He said with a derisive sneer, “call me tha bad wun, tha leever, didya wait til afta I wus gone ta screw Tomi, or did ya give it a week ferst?”
Cora just smirked again.
Johe continued, “I c'n fergive why can't you?
Or is it part uf tha bigga darker plan with yer new frends?”
She let out a chuckle. “yeah.. well, I don't love Tomi.. any more than I love -you-”
“or luv'd?” Johe took a step forward.
Cora tensed up slightly as he continued... almost afraid of letting him touch her.
“you look me in the eye an' tell me ya neva luved me an' I'll go.
“do it”
She just stared him in the eye for a moment... trying to say it.
“That's not the point Johe”
“oh it isn't? then say it”
“fine... yeah.. I loved you. but that's over... -we're- over...”
“an' why is that xactly? wut did I do?”
another pause.
A glimmer of pain threatened to resurface, but she held it back.
“because... you said you would always be there... but you weren't”
“I left yes, I 'ad to leev, fer you, fer evrybuddy, but I ripped myself ta shreds ta git back as soon as I culd! fer ...fer this?! This is bullshiite Cora! If you eva luved me, how culd ya jus' let it all blow ta shiite fer that?”
She had to look away.
“an yer frends say I friggin' used you?! tha's a laff” He shook his head with a sigh.
In her head she was fighting to keep control of her emotions. She couldn’t let him just walk back into her life and turn things upside down again. No... she didn’t need him anymore... she didn’t need anyone. Just the shadows, and the one who helped her control them. -he- had always been there for her... helped her to control her emotions... helped her master the shadows in a way that gave her... freedom...
“I love you Cora, I loved you soo much I went thru tha wringer for you more times 'n I c'n count, I bin livin in this 'ell 'ole waitin to jus' see you
'ow c'n you say I neva luved you?”
She gave a soft snort. “oh, I know you loved me... but where did it get me?”
“I AIN' 'ere ta save ya" Johe stamped his foot, "I'm 'ere FOR you, cus if you don' leev them I'm jumpin' in. we promised fereva luv, an' I aim ta keep me promise”
She shook her head and said in a very soft voice, “...you don't know what I went through Johe”
He responded with a sigh, and a whisper, “then tell me luv, lemme try fix it”
Still in her soft voice, “I'm not going through that again”
“ya don' 'ave ta luv... like I promised I wuld, I berned tha list, there's jus' you... an' raff is gone too."
Her eyes narrowed, giving him a doubtful look... as if he could just be rid of Sir Rafferty that easy.
Johe just shrugged, “s'true”
Well, he’s -obviously- full of it then she thought, and suddenly adopted a much cooler demeanor. “well.. it's not that easy anyhow...”
“no it neva is
but it don' matta cus now ya know tha way it is. so don' be nun s'prised at wut I'm gonna be doin'”
She smirked
He nodded in response
“me be suprised by anything you do?”
“ya mite be s'prised” He gave a smirk of his own.
“go and get yourself thrown in prison again?”
Johe shivered, giving her a look as though she stabbed him, the hurt clearly in his eyes “no luv, but that wus fer you too then wusn' it”
Cora laughed mirthlessly. “bloody great timing you have then...”
“they pulled me in fer s'picious activity wen I was tryin ta figger tha museum job, it wus tha only way I culd...be closer” He looked down at the floor. “neva mind, you don' care”
She gave a nod. “so... you're finaly starting to understand then.
I don't need you anymore Johe..
I don't need anyone...”
He raised his head to look her in the eye. “did I ask ya ta need me?”
This made her give another soft snort.
“I ain' eevin askin' ya ta luv me, I neva did”
“then what's this all about?”
“all I eva asked wus ta let me luv you”
...
“tha's all” He took of his cloak with a sigh.
‘you bastard’ she thought.
It took all her willpower to keep it together, but she couldn’t let him see her loose control... all she could manage was to stand silently for a few moments.
“cae fer a cuppa tea luv?” looking down at his hands he pulled his gloves off.
“...just let it go.” she managed in a small voice. Then dancing into the shadows, she drew them around her until they enveloped her completely... a moment later, she was gone. |
"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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Tearing the veil
Posted: 27 Mar 2007 03:26 AM |
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Cora stepped out of the shadows into the Guyver shop.
Johe kept it locked up these days, but that just meant she had free reign of the place when he was out. Having just left him in Maldovia, where she watched him from the shadows, she knew he wouldn’t be back any time soon.
She looked around the room, wondering what kind of message she could send him -this- time. She made her way over to the guyver case to see if the scrolls she left after cleaning it out was still there.
The bardic scroll with the song Don’t touch me was still prominently displayed in the center of the case, as was the Finger of Death right next to it.
It was probably pointless though.. he was far too hard headed to be dissuaded.
At one point, that was one of the things I loved about him.. his stubbornness.
She suddenly realized her thoughts had turned nostalgic... but she couldn’t figure out why.
‘just let him love you’
As if from the bottom of the black pit that was her heart these words rose softly.
She put her hand, now trembling, to her face, as she fought hard to hold back tears.
Why is this happening?
Emotion seemed to surge out of nowhere to envelop her, just like the shadows had done so many times before.
How can this be?
She reached out with her thoughts... but there was no-one there.
The bond had been severed, his mind closed off to her.
In a panic now, she suddenly feared that Johe might have found a way to destroy the connection she had with her... “mentor.”
But that's not... possible... is it?
The emotions he helped her to control, were now threatening to smother her.
Johe came back... and he wants me by his side.. he wont give up on me.
Her knees buckled, and she fell to the floor sobbing.
It started in a strained voice, “no.. No...”
I love him... I want him... need him...
Where was he? How could he leave her now!?
Her whole body shuddered as she tried to draw the shadows around her.. trying to get out of there.. trying to smother the pain with the shadows.. anything...
Crying out louder now, “NO! please... make it stop!”
She wanted to die... she wanted to rip her heart from her chest and throw it away...
Everyone always leaves me... so alone...
Still the emotion poured out of her as she let out a blood curdling scream, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” draining her lungs of air, until she lay in a heap on the floor, sobbing and gasping for breath.
It was more than she could endure... Cora blacked out... sweet darkness overtaking her, as she lay sprawled out on the floor.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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Suspicions in the dark
Posted: 29 Mar 2007 04:39 AM |
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Black
All was black.
Cora shivered as she struggled to sit up, she was surrounded by darkness...
and cold... so, very cold.
She remembered feeling crushed by the weight of her emotions, then it all went black.
It was -still- black, but this was different. She was aware, she was... calm.
Cora let out a heavy sigh and looked around in the darkness. His eyes met hers and she realized he was there... with her again.
‘You need to be able to control your emotions yourself, for as you now see, there may come a time when I am unable to help you.’
Cora closed her eyes, rubbing her hands over her arms in an attempt to warm them. ‘what happened?’
‘what happened, is that you were overcome by your... feelings’
‘No, I...’
he continued, ignoring her interruption. ‘you had better learn to contain them, or...’
Angry, she yelled aloud, “That’s not what I meant!... what happened with you... with us?”
He continued cooldly
‘A minor inconvenience... or at least it should only have been that, but you rely upon me far too much...”
‘An -inconvenience-?’
She shook her head in frustration. ‘And what exactly caused this -inconvenience-?’
‘I’m not sure.’
He was lying to her.
She could feel it. And just like before, back when he was still ..toying with her... when she sensed he wasn’t who he said he was... she knew she could keep this realization from him as long as she could burry it with her emotions.
Cora ran her hands through her hair, deciding not to press the matter, she let out a long sigh.
He continued, ‘But for now, you must learn to master your emotions yourself. ...You may have noticed that I have not fully shielded you from them now. We shall try removing more and more of my protection, until you are capable of managing it on your own.’
Cora grimaced slightly. ‘later... I need to rest.’
‘Very well, return to me when you are rested’
She nodded, picking herself up off the floor. In another moment, she was gone, the shadows having filled the space she once stood in.
Was he lying...? or was what she sensed just that he had withdrawn a little, in order to “teach” her to master her emotions? She knew she couldn’t dwell on it, lest he become aware of these thoughts.
For now, she would just have to wait and see.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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Shades of un-truth
Posted: 05 Jul 2007 09:05 PM |
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It was all a lie
The promise of power... the promise of freedom...
All of it.
And why shouldn’t it be?
He served the god of lies.
...She served the god of lies.
But when would it stop?
Would it ever stop?
He had been a part of her for so long, she thought it would be different. She thought she could trust him... thought she knew him. There had been times when it felt as though they were one. He knew her every thought, and she knew his.
But no longer. The surges of emotion... the moments when his protection was lifted... He wasn’t trying to teach her independence at all... He was hiding something from her. So she had learned to hide things from him as well.
A corner of her mind that he could not enter.
There were shadows that were very much hers. They allowed her to keep things hidden from him. But they were growing fewer by the day.
Most of the shadows she made use of were still his. And they seemed to only grudgingly aid her in her tasks.
Did they know?
Could they somehow sense what he couldn’t?
That she was not fully of them? Not fully his?
Or was this all just another part of his plan to make her rely on him more?
It was beginning to wear on her.
Little by little...
The hateful glares when she would dance through them...
The forceful push and pull of their hands, reminding her with increasing regularity, that she wasn’t welcome...
Even the river that carried her felt colder... and colder... with each time she danced into it.
“yer rite luv, things AIN’ wut they seem, yer 'is mouthpiece , you wus neva like that before”
Cora cursed under her breath... She could hear Johe’s words in her head, as though he stood before her now...
“yer 'is mouthpiece”
over... and over...
'Bastard!'
There were so many things about Johe that made her angry... So many reasons she could think of, to hate him. Just the thought of him made her angry.
Only, what made it worse, was that this time she was angry...
because he was right.
“don' b'lieve all the lies 'e feeds you, you think 'e helps ya, wut 'e reely dus is make ya evin more needy fer 'im”
Johe was right.
It was a lie.
All of it.
All of it orchestrated to draw her into His service.
She was never meant to be an equal... rather, he wished to absorb her into himself. She would be to him as an appendage... doing whatever thought it’s master could conjure... merely carrying out the orders it was given.
How did it come to this?
...she couldn’t quite remember.
But even worse...
How did she get out?
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
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Shadow reflection
Posted: 23 Aug 2007 11:11 PM |
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Deep in some damp, dusky cavern, a heavy blanket of black seemed to lift... though it wouldn’t appear any brighter from it. In fact, to those unaccustomed to the ways of shadows their eyes would notice no change.
However, they most certainly would have felt it.
As if a weight was lifted.
To those who saw the shadows however... the shadows as they truely are... the difference was as night and day.
Figures without form faded back into the surrounding darkness. Back into the nooks and crannies of the stone and earthen walls. Leaving the cavern only as dark as it had been to begin with.
A wry and bemused female voice cut through the comparatively blinding darkness
“And you said you couldn’t do it”
Two figures stood alone in the center of the cavern. The one who had just spoken was tall, a hood covered her face from the darkness that surrounded them. The other, shorter one, gave a bit of a smirk, turning away from her... eyes wandering across the floor... not wanting to give away how pleased she felt.
She still felt emotions were dangerous, or at the very least, volatile. Best not to let others truly know how you feel.
Even... or perhaps, especially... the one who taught you how to use them to your advantage.
“Do you think he will heed your warning?” the tall one spoke again.
“I don’t know...” Cora had to focus to channel the swell of emotion she now felt... felt at the realization that he had always been stubborn as a mule. And that she still found it one of his most endearing qualities... even if it had the effect of getting him into trouble... now and then.
The tall one pulled back and lowered her hood. She was pale, and quite plain, yet there was an unexplainable quality about her, something that compelled those who saw her face to later recall the sight of her as strangely beautiful. Her eyes, blacker than the darkness that surrounded them, studied Cora carefully.
“You’ve no need to hide them from me, you know”
Cora’s voice was calm. “I wasn’t hiding them from you”
There was a pause. The woman grinned ever so slightly, watching the back of Cora’s head.
Cora gave a brief sigh and turned to look at her. “I only turned away so I could focus. You know I still struggle with it.”
The woman wasn’t buying this explanation, though she pressed the matter no further. Instead she smiled a bit coyly, and turned the conversation back to what they had just finished.
“You still think Johe will try to make some sort of deal with him then?”
Cora looked away again. “...very likely”
A few moments went by.
“Why did you not tell him how..” She started, but Cora cut her off.
“Because... he never would have believed it. He’d think it was a ruse. Some... ill-conceived plan to goad him into a trap. Either that or he would have thought I was in immediate peril, and then he would have just done something even more rash. ...you heard him as it is, wondering ‘what I did NOW’”
Cora shook her head. “I’m not ready yet.
...And I he isn't either.”
The woman studied Cora for a long moment. “You have learned to channel it well... despite what you say about struggling. In time it will become second nature. It is already apparent that it has given you strength.
It can be an even greater source of strength to the one who expresses it.”
She paused to let this sink in, and to observe Coras reaction.
“But yes, I believe you speak the truth. You do not fully believe it yet.”
Cora sighed heavily
“...well, I’ve had a lifetime of experience that tells me they only bring...”
The woman cut across her.
“That’s him talking”
Cora felt like lashing out, but held her tongue, gritting her teeth slightly.
The woman continued in a more soothing voice. “It is a whole new way of thinking. It is natural that it will take some time to get used to. Just remember what I’ve taught you. And then one day... perhaps sooner than you think, you will find that you truly believe it.”
She gave a reassuring smile.
Cora relaxed a bit, then sighed with a nod.
“I’d better get going.” Cora said rather abruptly, and then added a bit contemptuously.
“Mustn’t be late with my report”
The woman nodded and replied. “Farewell. Swiftfoot’s luck be with you.”
Cora couldn’t help but smile at these words, then danced into the shadows and was gone.
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"I'm not closed-minded, you're just WRONG." - Bucky Katt
My characters n portraits |
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