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Mortilamp and the Unseemlies
Posted: 24 Nov 2007 01:09 PM |
1. AN ENCOUNTER IN MIRGHUL
This story is about a lamp, a magic lamp on the run named Mortimous Marmelade MacDunnegan the Lamp, Mortilamp for short. Flying for his light and life in Mirghul, Mortilamp blundered upon a party of adventurers who at first paid him little mind. Normally even in Vives a floating magic lamp gets a fair amount of attention, but this lamp was chased by a gang of bugbear, and they were much more assertive.
A fierce battle ensued with surprise on the side of the bugbear. The party of adventurers was thrashed sorely, some knocked out cold on the forest floor, but in the end they stood victorious over the brutes.
Seeing a golden opportunity to be had, Mortilamp befriended his saviors, liberally sprinkling fairy dust upon them like a deranged house cat marking his territory. Some of those thus sprinkled stirred from their bludgeoned stupor in the forest duff. Once he realized that - wonder of wonders - his saviors could also speak, he shared with them the misery of his plight.
“The Unseemlies are after me. The Unseemly Court wants to capture me. We are not safe. Atchooooo!” A fireball blossomed from the heart of the lamp. “Sorry about that,” he said rattling his shutters, “I've got a bit of a hot. I was hoping this clime would be good for my health.”
Eventually Mortilamp convinces this party of adventuresome folk to come with him to a safe house, Skarfell Lodge, where he talks more nonsense, but at the least impresses upon them the danger of the Unseemlies. As he blusters he splutters fairy dust onto every surface of the lodge. Chromatic bursts of light and fiery belches erupt from the lamp's rattling shutters. Dangerously out of control, Mortilamp proves to be a nuisance. Some of the party correctly surmises that he must be Unseemly as well.
Drawn by Morti's exhortations of fairy dust, Unseemly battle group two slides sideways through a rent in space, arriving in Skarfell Lodge. The lighting went spooky. The air fogged over with a greenish cast. Unsurprisingly given the special affects, the Unseemly bugbear looked like roadies for an 80's glamrock band. A few glam-goth nymphettes made their appearance as well. Battle was joined and this time the party was prepared. The blood of fairies and bugbears mingled with the sparkly dust upon the floor boards.
Mortilamp slipped out in the confusion.
Archibald De Breenie: What do you think, girl?
Otse Who was Bitten By a Badger: I think this lantern is trouble. I don't know why it deserves protection.
Barret Victor: I think it was just an extremely confused lantern.
Kyle Kathidar: Maybe we can get the court to leave lampy alone?
Archibald De Breenie: Okay....*rubs his hands together* Despite the craziness of the lantern, why do I think we're stumbling into something fairly powerful and not so good?
Otse Who was Bitten By a Badger: There's some higher mathematics at work here I think. Those are some powerful tricks!
Belching a fireball into the room, the fireplace concurred. The adventurers slept elsewhere that night. |
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Mortilamp and the Unseemlies
Posted: 24 Nov 2007 01:14 PM |
2. MORTI'S MYSTIQUE VACATION
...an interlude...
Shoveling in paradise, Kalid came to the islands for their sand. Mortilamp came for the clime. This hot had him in a grip which he just couldn't shake, much like those pestiferous Unseemlies who were usually just one step behind. Quite curious of Kalid, he hovered around her until noticed.
She was surprised. He greeted her with a sneeze of fairy dust. They talked. Morti told her that she was worthy of his blessing. She mutters something about a curse. He agrees, asking, “Are you sure?” She sighs, “Sure why not?!”
He bestowed upon her a generic curse. They weren't THAT close after all.
Then the Unseemlies located him. Kalid fought them off despite the curse, and Morti was once more on the run. |
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Mortilamp and the Unseemlies
Posted: 09 Dec 2007 05:43 PM |
3. UNSEEMLY INVITATION
Sneaking in Ye Hole In Da Ground Inn, the pixie dumped from her satchel a sparkling pile of fairy dust at the door. Next she planned to capture the adventurers' attention. By her fairy mistress, she was told to lead this party back to the cauldron, alive. Her mistress wanted them to talk. Sitting amongst the Inn's couches, her targets sat in discussion about Mortilamp. She considered her task. There are invitations and then there are invitations. This was to be in the later category.
Flitting into the gnomish musical contraption, she tried to rouse their curiosity. That was always a good way to get someone's attention. She set the device in motion, whirly gigging tunes backwards and forwards. She peeked out at them. They didn't care. She kept at it, throwing gears, and pulling levers but the best she could do was get the gnome of the group interested in the music. The pixie spit in frustration, Not good enough!
Next she streaked them in full view, then disappeared. That got them up. One even threw an errant dart, but no one chased her toward the door. Might as well, she thought and summoned grease to cover the floor. That set them dancing, spinning, wheeling, even falling. What fun! tittered the pixie.
But still, they didn't chase after.
Resorting to more serious tactics, she tormented the two cats in the back room. They chased her out into the common room, running circles about the legs of the bigger folk. Like one baiting a hook, she glamoured the cats in purple and red. Eventually the dim witted clods took notice. After more prodding on her part, the adventurers at last found her pile of fairy dust and got the clue. The rest was easy. From sparkling pile in Brandibuck to those strewn about Swiftdale, the adventurers found their way to her mistress at the extremities of Bowness.
But then the oafs, rather than politely greet her mistress, attacked. Everything was a shambles. A few pixies and grigs did play some tricks, but is that reason enough to get violent? To be honest, the bugbear joined in too along with the rest of the entourage, but these folk were worse than bugbears. How could the Court deal with people like that? Still while the mayhem lasted they enjoyed themselves, but it did not last long as usual with these big folk. Biggers lack the artistry of torment so abundant amongst the wee folk.
The pixie's mistress chided them, but still they did not treat with her. Unable to tolerate their scorn another moment, she threatened them with suffering, and disappeared. The pixie would enjoy watching them suffer next time. They could well enough suffer and talk the next time. |
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Mortilamp and the Unseemlies
Posted: 02 Jun 2008 01:36 AM |
4. UNSEEMLY DROPPINGS
With his long gnomish nose wrapped in a mask, Uwe threw open his bedroom door. The pile of nightsoil on the floor was growing. For the past week the stuff just kept coming, and coming. From where he did not know. It was becoming bad for business. Some customers had begun snidely calling the place The Broken Winds.
"There it is. Bucket the offal out to the abandoned well and let me know when you're finished," he said.
The laborers he'd brought from Port reluctantly set to work, while he returned to the main floor. Castidis was bustling about the pantry with a wand out looking into the high corners of the room.
"What is it?" Uwe asked.
"Laughter," replied Castidis.
Uwe followed his gaze. "I don't see anything."
"You don't see it. You hear it!" Castidis was grumpy.
Uwe just shook his head. "Did the order of incense arrive?"
His friend nodded once in the direction of the counter while keeping his eyes pealed for whatever was laughing at him. Uwe found the box on the counter and took it with him out into the main room by the fire where he dropped a sheaf of incense to begin fumigating the place.
Castidis stormed out of the pantry shooting sparks from his wand at a laughing pixie. "Mock me, will you!?" The pixie hysterically flit about the room taking its time to reach the door. Sprays of color from Castidis' wand like shimmering paint stained the room in rainbow hues. The two whirled their way outside.
"'ey! Hey!" shouted Castidis followed by squeaky chortling.
Uwe let out a sigh and flopped onto the couch, until one of the laborers came up to him with a scrap of paper. "I found this ... with the.... in the room upstairs," he said.
The paper read, "Hello the privy, anyone home."
To Uwe it meant nothing.
"Twas inside this bottle," added the man as he handed over a bottle of Brandibuck Ale.
Outside Castidis could be heard shouting, "Now wait a minute! Not the tree! Don't leave me in this tree!"
Much farther away to the far side of Vives in Brandibuck outside Swiftfoot Hall, one of the locals sat inside the "imploding outhouse" vacating his bowels while remaining blissfully ignorant to where the magic outhouse sent his droppings. |
Famous last words:
Mykal> it's my new wireless router.
* > Mykal has quit (Ping timeout)
Vulpina> Hey!! IRC didn't boot m.....
* > Vulpina has quit (Exit: DarkMyst WebChat) |
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