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Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 05 Aug 2007 01:32 PM |
This is the conversation that took place only moments ago. Yes, you elvish scum. We're coming after you.
<WickedArtist> Elves... can't live with them, can't drive them extinct.
<Ritz> Sure you can!
<WickedArtist> Should've wiped out Ferein years ago.
<Ritz> Vidus?
<WickedArtist> Never does so. Wuss!
<WickedArtist> If he's going to create a dictatorship, the LEAST he could do is eliminate those parasites upon society.
<WickedArtist> Those hippies.
<WickedArtist> Mongrel dogs.
* Ritz laughs in agreement.
<WickedArtist> Demons.
<WickedArtist> Fiends.
<WickedArtist> Aberrations.
<WickedArtist> Mutations.
<Ritz> Frail worthless puny vermin.
<WickedArtist> Freaks of nature.
<WickedArtist> And just... just...
<Ritz> Ugly.
<WickedArtist> ELVES
<WickedArtist> The only thing worse then elves is Aristi Elves
<WickedArtist> And the only thing worse then Aristi elves is...
* Ritz and WA begin the Elf extermination campaign.
<WickedArtist> Aristi Harper Elves, AKA Harpisti Elves Paladin/Ranger/Bard
* WickedArtist has a stroke
* WickedArtist dies
<Ritz> ...
<Ritz> dangnabit. Guess I have to do this campaign on my own.
<WickedArtist> Bah. They're like roached.
<WickedArtist> *roaches
* Ritz gathers the orcs. And Sauron. And forges one ring to rule them, er, elves.
<WickedArtist> Even if you go and kill them, they'll just crawl under rocks.
<Ritz> Oh... right right.
* Ritz gathers /more/ orcs.
<WickedArtist> We need something FAR more devastating
<WickedArtist> Worse then Sauron and the One Ring
<WickedArtist> We need...
<Ritz> Fri'el?
<WickedArtist> No, she's a wuss too.
<Ritz> Oh.
<WickedArtist> We need to gather all the disney villains!
<WickedArtist> And all the Dark Jedi
<WickedArtist> And make an evil counci
<WickedArtist> *council
<WickedArtist> The Dark Cliche'
<WickedArtist> And using the oldest tricks in the books, we'll destroy the ELVES!
<Ritz> Oh good. As long as Jaffar and Darth Maul can be happy.
<WickedArtist> I'm sure Scar would keep them in check
<WickedArtist> He's nasty
<Ritz> Scar is a lion... he goes down with Animal Empathy.
<WickedArtist> Oh, guess so
<WickedArtist> Y'know those elves
<WickedArtist> All they do is mingle with animals
<WickedArtist> Savages
<WickedArtist> Cannibals
<Ritz> They get craftier every day.
<WickedArtist> Beasts
<WickedArtist> The head of the council will need to be ABOVE the tricks of the elves
<WickedArtist> And there can only be one.
<WickedArtist> Gargamel!
<Ritz> What?
<Ritz> No...
<WickedArtist> Gargamel.
<Ritz> No.
<WickedArtist> Why not?
<Ritz> Gargamel.
<WickedArtist> He's all for genocide.
<Ritz> Enough said.
<WickedArtist> Look at the smurfs.
<WickedArtist> Oh, fine.
<Ritz> He never killed a smurf! He wanted to, but never did!
<Ritz> That's just as bad as Vidus!
<WickedArtist> Oh
<WickedArtist> You're right
<WickedArtist> I take it back then
<WickedArtist> He'll be Scar's slave
<Ritz> There you go.
<WickedArtist> And again, there can only be one!
<WickedArtist> Who will head the council of evil?
<WickedArtist> Jack Sparrow!
<Ritz> Who is the nastiest Dark Jedi?
<WickedArtist> No no, Jack Sparrow!
<Ritz> And who is the nastiest evil disney character?
<WickedArtist> He'll single-handedly wipe the elven race off the earth with nothing but a toothpick and sea turtles!
<WickedArtist> Hm
<WickedArtist> The nastiest?
<WickedArtist> Scar or Jaffar
<Ritz> Jaffar. And dark jedi?
<WickedArtist> All the Dark Jedi are wusses
<Ritz> Then why were they included?
<WickedArtist> Because they do well as servants, not as leaders
<Ritz> Oh. Well.
<Ritz> Good point.
<WickedArtist> The leader has to be transcendent.
<Ritz> Jack Sparrow it is.
<WickedArtist> There we have it!
<Ritz> Jack Sparrow will head the council of evil!
<WickedArtist> Now all we have to do is create the proper space-time matrix to draw all the characters out of their respective alternate realities.
<Ritz> Oh that's easy.
<Ritz> Time paradox.
<Ritz> Get the gnomes to build it.
<WickedArtist> Excellent
<Ritz> Done, and done.
<WickedArtist> Wait, wait
<Ritz> What?
<WickedArtist> Jack Sparrow is no good
<Ritz> Why not?
<WickedArtist> He's a turncoat. He'll betray our evil council for the elven side, then betray them to the evil council, then again and again and we'll never know which side he's on!
<Ritz> Ah...
<Ritz> but if we know of it before hand...
<WickedArtist> Then Jack Sparrow would be worthless.
<WickedArtist> Obviously, he's TOO good to lead our council.
<Ritz> Wait. Why are the elves the good guys? Why are WE the evil council?
<WickedArtist> Hey, you're right
<WickedArtist> We need to gather the GOOD guys
<Ritz> The elves are evil, thus they must die.
<WickedArtist> But then again, who is good and isn't a wuss?
<Ritz> Samuel L. Jackson.
<WickedArtist> Yoda!
<WickedArtist> Who?
<Ritz> He was Mace Windu.
<Ritz> And Jules Winfield in Pulp Fiction.
<Ritz> And on Snakes on a Plane.
<WickedArtist> Oh
<WickedArtist> Oh
<WickedArtist> Oh
<WickedArtist> Okay
<WickedArtist> That's good
<WickedArtist> He's cool
<Ritz> Hell yeah it is.
<WickedArtist> He would even kill the bad guys in SW if Anakin wasn't a big fat wuss doodoo head
<Ritz> "Hand me my lightsaber. It's the one that says BAD MOTHER ****** on it."
<WickedArtist> Aye!
<Ritz> Samuel L. Jackson has been nominated to LEAD the Council of GOOD against the EVIL ELVES.
<WickedArtist> Yes, he will have to take care of the LEADER of those wretched fey
<WickedArtist> The MOTHER herself!
<Ritz> ...Elbereth?
<WickedArtist> Yes.
<WickedArtist> She MADE them.
<WickedArtist> Obviously, she must be killed as well.
<Ritz> Oh. Right.
<Ritz> Samuel L. Jackson vs. Elbereth!
<WickedArtist> Let the battle of Titans begin!
<Ritz> Oh dear god. How do I save this chat log?
<WickedArtist> Heh. No clue.
<WickedArtist> Wait, wait, who will take care of Elbereth's second in command?
<WickedArtist> Aros, of course.
<Ritz> Samuel L. Jackson can take them both on. He's got enough firepower.
<WickedArtist> After all, it was all just a conspiracy for Aros to depart Ferein with the ELITE of the wretched elven race, and exterminate or enslave the greater races, while Ferein festers in their wooden homes and deny any responsibility.
<WickedArtist> True, true.
<WickedArtist> But then it wouldn't be the Battle of Titans.
<WickedArtist> Since the Battle of Titans demands an equal number of Titans.
<Ritz> Of course.
<WickedArtist> To keep things in their proper dramatic order, we'd need a rival for Aros.
<Ritz> Who could mess with Aros' head so much?
<WickedArtist> Mess with his head?
<Ritz> Yes. Win the mind game.
<WickedArtist> That's not the game
<WickedArtist> The elves must not be SUBDUED
<WickedArtist> they must be destroyed entirely
<WickedArtist> Every last one
<WickedArtist> And the half elves as well
<Ritz> Fine fine. Who will annhilate aros?
<Ritz> The Predator.
<WickedArtist> Eh? No no.
<WickedArtist> We need an archer.
<WickedArtist> A none-elven archer who would humiliate Aros.
<Ritz> Robin Hood.
<WickedArtist> Bah! Bah! and Bah again!
<Ritz> Or Han Solo.
<WickedArtist> He might be human, but he ACTS like an elf.
<WickedArtist> He must die as well, lest he influences their foul culture on us.
<Ritz> Oh... Han, or Robin Hood?
<WickedArtist> Robin Hood
<WickedArtist> Batman!
<Ritz> ...DONE!
<WickedArtist> Done!
<Ritz> Samuel L. Jackson + Batman vs. Elbereth and Aros!
<WickedArtist> And we need a rival for Tarik
<Ritz> A brutal savage?
<WickedArtist> Mmhmm
<Ritz> The Incredible Hulk?
<WickedArtist> I thought so, but he's green
<WickedArtist> He's the enemy.
<Ritz> dangnabit.
<WickedArtist> Or, we could take the opposite.
<WickedArtist> If Tarik is a brutal savage with no style and dresses badly
<WickedArtist> We need a stylish well-dressed human.
<WickedArtist> Ergo, James Bond!
<WickedArtist> Double O Seven!
<Ritz> ...this is the greatest battle ever.
<WickedArtist> Indeed it is.
<WickedArtist> The Clash of Titans. Samuel L. Jackson vs. Elbereth, Batman vs. Aros, James Bond vs. Tarik.
<WickedArtist> Ha! Those elves don't stand a chance.
<Ritz> No way in hell do they.
<WickedArtist> Not even their insectoid survival ability will save them.
<WickedArtist> No rocks to crawl under.
<Ritz> Excellent. Victory is ours. |
Tristian and Elghinn.
NWN logon =UltimatiumOmega
Lost item: Fire Bomb
Tristian Vike damages Erin: 19 (19 Fire)
Tristian Vike damages Tristian Vike: 7 (7 Fire)
Tristian Vike damages Kard Snyder: 10 (10 Fire) |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 05 Aug 2007 02:39 PM |
This... worries me somewhat.
However, some good news. Scar can talk so he /should/ count as a magical creature, getting a higher DC for animal empathy.
It's about time someone went out and crushed all the elves. Why not get the Atalan on our side and then send them in first until they have all died. Kill two birds with one stone. |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 05 Aug 2007 05:02 PM |
Scar is a Magical Dire Beast, most like. That's like, +8 to the Animal Empathy DC.
Also, you forget that we have the true Greats of society on our side.
Besides, they're not really Pepsi. They're all Pepsi Twists.
Except...They're not Pepsi Twists. They're:
Doctor Gregory House, Jack Bauer, and Gaston.
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WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 05 Aug 2007 05:20 PM |
| It's not lupus... |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 06 Aug 2007 06:57 PM |
Now I'm all for elvish genocide....
...but this is just WRONG! |
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
-Henry David Thoreau
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 06 Aug 2007 11:43 PM |
Wait wait wait,
Maleficent is far a better villiance. . . She's no elf and she's. . um I guess good looking, but man is she scary! She'll take out Jafar any ol' day! |
All Rincewind could manage to say was, "You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree."
Durellae Snorted "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?" . . .
(Terry Prachett, "The Color of Magic") |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 04:56 AM |
| Aww come on, all this elf-hatin' is sooo last year! ;) |
IG character: Alis Rapidshill |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 09:34 AM |
| Perhaps I should go back to playing Gnomes. |
"Absolute precision buys the freedom to dream meaningfully." - Donal O' Shea: The Poincaré Conjecture. |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 09:51 AM |
Perhaps I should go back to playing Gnomes.
No!!
*starts his own gnome-hating thread* |
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about dying."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means lying in the ground with dirt on your face and holding your breath forever."
-Burt Reynolds, "The End" |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 12:24 PM |
Aww come on, all this elf-hatin' is sooo last year! ;)
Nah...elf-hating is kind of like blue jeans or T-shirts...it never goes out of style. |
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
-Henry David Thoreau
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 12:33 PM |
I hated elves long before it became popular...
*crosses arms matter-of-factly* |
T'mok Gurzi
Resident Gnoll Warlord
patron for the noble yet drink addled
Timik Gorozai the Mistake |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 05:33 PM |
Aww come on, all this elf-hatin' is sooo last year! ;)
Nah...elf-hating is kind of like blue jeans or T-shirts...it never goes out of style.
Liisi said it, though.
Liisi's opinion in this out-weighs that of everyone else.
So stop hating or we'll sail out of Ferein and do something drastic and world-ending.
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WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 09 Aug 2007 05:45 PM |
| I am afraid you are banned from doing anything drastic and world-ending whilst wearing green... |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 10 Aug 2007 04:32 AM |
I'm afraid elves, elf lovers, hippies, or just people who like green, nature, or anything green or nature related, have no say in this matter. You have obviously all fallen to the elven conspiracy, and when you grow up, you will grow up to be ELVES! Yes, elves included.
An exception of green is all green that relates to bile, muck, wafts of stink and other grotesque things represented by the colour green. This green obviously represents the orc community. Orcs or orc-related are to be commended for their elf-hating traditions.
I fear the only hope for those who have been Elfed is to seek the path of the Chief. Only the Chiefane can purify all Elfane traces from your body, mind and soul.
Make the right decision! Get Chiefed! |
WickedArtist: I think he needs a proper elf.
WickedArtist: A christmas elf!
Tasra: Any sort of elf that actually smiles ;o
Gasp! Scandalous!!! |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 10 Aug 2007 05:14 AM |
I'm afraid elves, elf lovers, hippies, or just people who like green, nature, or anything green or nature related, have no say in this matter. You have obviously all fallen to the elven conspiracy, and when you grow up, you will grow up to be ELVES! Yes, elves included.
Aww, poor thing! You don't need to be afraid, since you've obviously been mistaken. MY opinion is the one that counts in this matter! And I say, embrace your inner greenness! Not envy-green but the good fluffy kind of green! Bring forth the Green Revolution! And while at it, you may crown me as the Queen of Green! Mwhwahhahaahah!!!
*blinks*
Um, I think I need a cup of coffee.
*runs* |
IG character: Alis Rapidshill |
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Re: Imaginative minds in the IRC lounge.
Posted: 14 Aug 2007 02:35 PM |
This is the conversation that took place only moments ago. Yes, you elvish scum. We're coming after you.
Ohhhh dear, looks like I got back JUST in time, I knew if I kept them hanging around long enough I'd find a use for Ferein's armies.
Your names are duly noted, and I'll be watching *smiles sweetly*
(And it's Elven... ELVEN) |
ELVES! |
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