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SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 12:03 AM |
EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! NUTTERS BATHE OUR FAVORITE SEWER WORKER IN FILTH AND EXCREMENT!
It has been revealed to this very reporter that two ladies by the names of Sylune Almare Tindomerel and Josaphine Veshas recently paid our very own Port Royal Sanitation worker Soido "Sloppy" Meneagn quite a handsome sum in order to fullfill these two sick and twisted fantasies. When asked about the event..Soido replied the following....
"They cornered me in me own place a livin'. they said they would cast 'orrible magics at me ifn I did nah do as they said. It was 'orrible. They got tagether some recipe that included dog hair, aloe, used bogroll....extra soft, and raw sewage! They then tied me up and began using fresh rat skin as scrubbers and rubbed it all ova me nakedness!!! I cried for help but none came. This went on for hours as the two lasses seemed to be enjoyng every last second of it!I tell ya im scarred for life! I dont know if I can go on working down there!
Soido has taken a few weeks off in order to gather himself. Let us hope he can put this perverted act behind him and do the job he does so well and that is control the sewage of this grand city.
Notable philanthropist and newly knighted Sir Jessup the Younger has donated a nice sum to Soido to aid in his recovery. He has also bought him a lifetime supply of Ms Miggins Steak and ale pies!
Soido you are one lucky fellow!
Take heed citizens...watch out for this two witches! Sylune and Josaphine are not to be taken lightly!!!
Remember...if its not news...well make it news! |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 03:14 AM |
| ((*blinks* What the duce? WHAT THE DUCE!?!)) |
All Rincewind could manage to say was, "You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree."
Durellae Snorted "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?" . . .
(Terry Prachett, "The Color of Magic") |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 04:46 AM |
{( I wasn't aware Josaphine's surname was widely known.
I'm not surprised, however. Clearly, she seems the type. Sylune seemed a bit off, as well. )} |
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 05:00 AM |
| ((The Port Royale Tribune stikes again!)) |
Me: “Hrothgar is not crazy, he is blessed!”
Wicked Keen/Sa'koless: “Vilyave must have been PMSing when she blessed Hrothgar...” |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 08:24 AM |
((I didnt know Lytton was back in game!
Honestly....what is the Port coming to!?!?
Also.....are these ladies for hire for private parties?)) |
ONWARD AND UPWARD! |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 12:44 PM |
| (( I am going to plant a powderkeg by their printing press. I really am. )) |
True solace is finding none, which is to say, it is everywhere.
-Gretel Ehrlich |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 15 Dec 2006 07:42 PM |
Tristian walks by Berens almost every day, and gives him some dang excuse why he's not buying a paper, from "I have no coin," to "I'll rip out yer tongue if you don't shut up!" However, upon hearing this latest headline, he actually walked and bought a paper.
Reading it, he burst out laughing, which in turn scared away one of Betty's customers. Betty became irate, as usual, and threw a mis-aimed fish, hitting Jusin instead of him.
Tristian laughed, glad that his name wasn't in the local slander press, and a bit relieved as well. So... Josaphine was getting into trouble. The human grinned to himself, threw the paper in Berens' face, and strolled away. |
Tristian and Elghinn.
NWN logon =UltimatiumOmega
Lost item: Fire Bomb
Tristian Vike damages Erin: 19 (19 Fire)
Tristian Vike damages Tristian Vike: 7 (7 Fire)
Tristian Vike damages Kard Snyder: 10 (10 Fire) |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 16 Dec 2006 01:39 AM |
The sum of 40,000 gold pieces finds its way into the hands of Florence of the Seven Sisters.
The deliverer, a pale young Elf with black hair and dressed in black and red leather, smiles faintly as the woman expresses her gratitude.
"Thank not me," the Elf murmurs warmly. "Thank two women: Josaphine Veshas and Sylune Tindomerel. Elves, such as I, that pooled their money to express their thankfulness for an order such as yours. I am but a humble servant, grateful to be of service. I pray you and your sisters have the good fortune of-"
The Elf's blessings are cut short by a quiet disturbance: another adventurer being brought in.
He sighs sadly, then smiles again at the member of the Order. "I pray that, beyond that woman there, you will see no one that requires aid. Farewell, madame."
With that, the Elf turns on his heel and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. He smiles and nods to Mina as he passes her on the way to the exit.
___
Valethrion shuts the front door to the Sisters' abode as quietly as possible and sighs, leaning back against the wooden barrier.
He touches the almost-empty coin pouch at his side and thinks for a moment, then shrugs and strides on towards Port Royale, humming a quiet, cheerful tune.
___
Valethrion finds his way to the building of the Sisters of Mercy. He smiles at Cindy as he walks forward, a sizeable bag of gold (later revealed, to those that work within the facility and any associated as such, to contain 50,000 gold pieces) in his hands.
"Excuse me, where are donations...?"
The woman smiles and gestures down at the donation box. Valethrion nods in turn, then walks to the chest and opens the lid. Cindy watches the bag and smiles gently.
"What is the occasion? Reparations for some deed?"
Valethrion shakes his head as he lowers the bag and closes the lid. "Simple donations of thankfulness from Josaphine Veshas and Sylune Tindomerel. I'm sure you've heard of them. The Tribune wrote of them...Mhmm. Yes, those are the same ones."
At that moment, Hrothgar, a xenophobic human with a knight complex, barges in. "I have you now, Imp!" he shrieks, brandishing a sword. "You think to come to harm the needy?" A woman, apparently Elven by her ears, steps in after and positions herself between Valethrion and Hrothgar.
"We are very grateful for what you do for the people. Thank you." Valethrion smiles again at Cindy and then finally turns to confront Hrothgar. He blinks as the woman throws the man down and drags him out by the ankle with a whip. |
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 16 Dec 2006 06:14 PM |
ZIGZIG NO LIKEY YOU SPEAK BAD OF ZIG FRIEND!
Miss Sylune bring Zig da happy lights and sing pretty songs and is da nice lady!
You no speak bad of nice lady or else! |
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Re: SICK AND PERVERTED LADIES AT LARGE IN THE PORT!!!
Posted: 16 Dec 2006 10:37 PM |
When she first heard about the “Dreaded Paper of Doom” it was a mix of emotions Syluné rarely partakes in; anger to the extent of boiling rage, and hate to the extent she actually pondered the death of two men. Tristian was the bearer of the content of the newly updated paper. When he told Syluné about the slander of her name the color in her cheeks all but vanished.
The last few days she had been in Port all she could do was glare at Berens and grit her teeth every chance she got.
“Oh how I wish a lightning bolt would drop him dead,” she would think to herself as she stared at his balding head. She wished the same for that horrid little beast in the sewers, however him drowning in his own filth seemed like a much more befitting end to that cretin.
“if it’s not news we make it news indeed. . .” |
Me-ow. |
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