| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Display using:
|
|
Writings of a Monk
Posted: 23 Jun 2006 03:32 PM |
ENTRY I
The Written Word.
How much comfort you can provide, I have almost nearly forgotten. Simply writing down what runs through your mind, and you already do so much in organizing your thoughts.
This reason is not alone why I now have my own journal. Perhaps I wish to document my life, as well? I am prone to undergo many changes in the Path I have chosen – I will most likely change. Perhaps some day I will read these pages and remember what troubles I had in these days – emotions. Not even mine, but other's. My kin, my family.
I am an Arosian, dear Journal. A proud Elf of Ferein. While I love Ferein with all my life, I have a craving. A craving to see, to explore, to push myself over my limits. In Ferein, I cannot become what I wish to become. Supreme and absolute understanding of Body, Mind and Spirit is not something I shall achieve by staying Home. Ferein is always in my Heart, and I still visit home, yet now – I am homeless.
Now, I travel wherever I may. While I travel, it seems I cannot escape problems that I would deem trifles, if I had not witnessed them again. Emotions. Many people do not understand how to use them, and so they are dangerous. Two Brothers and a Sister – love is all that takes to send these three people to near insanity. One, a Priest, has tried to commit suicide. For what, Journal? Being refused by the one he loves? Are we, the Elves, the superior race, are not blessed with long Life by our Mother Elbereth? Is such a gift to be wasted, only on the account of love?
It was a selfish act. People might regard me as heartless now, yet, it was a selfish, cowardly act. What more, it is a disgrace to our Mother and to our divine protector and Guardian – Aros. A Priest… and somehow, I find myself trying to help. Of course, I must, as Family – it is a brother's obligation and birth-given duty to protect his siblings. I must seek out the Priest. Perhaps they view me only as a humble Monk that knows little of emotions. Perhaps.
While this is unfortunate, my time here in the North has brought with it a few surprises, Journal. I was here only for a short time, when Aros smiled upon me. I was approached by a kind Dwarf, and after we exchanged a few words, I find myself on trial – a trial that shall determine whether or not I will be accepted as an Apprentice of a seemingly famous and awfully powerful Monk. I must admit, my first meeting with him caught me unprepared – I did not expect one such as him, and yet, I feel the rumors about him are not unjustified.
Unfortunately, dear Journal, I have yet to begin true tutelage with him – he has provided me with clothes that prove to be most helpful, and while I am grateful, I would give up all magical items I currently possess to begin true tutelage.
My training. It is difficult, demanding, and I undergo it alone. This is no complaint, I have chosen this path for a reason, and I understand the challenges. And yet, my progress is slow. I must push myself over my limit, and then over new limits, and then over new limits, and then over new limits. While I wish to begin learning from this great Monk, I also have need to prove myself, alone.
Time to stop with my first entry.
There are more people and more pressing occurrences to write of, yet... I wish to rest with a warm glass of tea and a fine book, now. Then, more meditation. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
  |
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 27 Jun 2006 08:30 AM |
ENTRY II
Why do I not drink Alcoholic beverages? Valethrion can partly serve as an answer. He woke up half the continent away from where he remebered he was.
It is his choice to make, though. That Brother of mine, what will come of him? He, Kaltar, and so many others - so focused on Love and worried with it. Kaltar is even at the point where it is his sole reason for living.
As long as it does not cloud there reason and logic to a ridiculous point, I do not mind.
Love? No... I am troubled by other things. Perhaps not troubled, but occupied. I have set off on a travel to the mountains with a small group of people - some awfully powerful. Such as Talion. The skills he has with a blade; his swings, his movements - every move of his sword means a dead foe. It made me wonder, how much advantage does one who possesses a sword truly have. What is our limit? Do we even have one? Our Arts, my Art, Ki, the training, the methods... they are all powerful, and dangerous in their own right. But I think, can we truly match warriors such as Talion, who with their weapons - things that we usually abstain from using, reach such incomprehensible heights.
This makes me desire to begin training and learning under Jessup as soon as possible. I also have questions for him, that do not have to do with training. I rarely see him, however. Truly, a busy person. How strong is he, exactly, I wonder as well. If Sir Sam did not exaggerate, then Jessup is truly a Monk to be reckoned with.
Will he include morals in his training? I believe so. One does not simply give another power, without explaining how and why to use it – that would be reckless. It reminds me of what Xaranthir said – “one’s powers alone do not define his strength, but the manner of which he uses them does.” He did not speak in those exact words, but the meaning is all the same. Jessup seems a person with many principles, I doubt he will simply teach me how to become more powerful, without teaching me how I should use those powers. Unless he will wish to test me.
I shall keep patience, I have as much. Jessup said he will come to me and see if I am truly strong enough to be taken under his guide, and I shall wait for him to come. In the meanwhile, I shall respect what he asked, and I shall train. So far, my training brings results. Nevertheless, I have much more to learn about Ki.
Another pleasant, even if secluded Monk – Nidarren – seems quite knowledgeable and strong in his own right. From what I have seen with our few battles alongside one another, he is mastering the Ki Strike very well. He delivers it in his blows. His understanding of it is impressive.
Perhaps, one day, he will agree to spar with me. A friendly duel, between fellow Monks, as peers – even if he is stronger than me, at the moment. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 05 Jul 2006 03:55 AM |
ENTRY III
Jessup came to me.
He told me my first test - to take him to Icy Vale. The problem was passing the Desert and the wood after it, which I have succeeded in, yet with much difficulty. More than once did Jessup have to strike to postpone my death. So much precision, so much power, so much efficiency in his blows. By my second test, though, I cannot allow such things to come to pass. By the next Test, I must become strong enough. And I must know the lands better.
I met my current limits in Icy Vale, when the village lay sieged by a wretched Duergar attack. I joined the battle, but my skills were not sufficient. The Duergar are too strong. These, at least, were. This battle was tedious, we nearly lost. I was unconscious most of it. According to Jessup, the wyrmling Frezt aided the village and prevented it from being razed.
But I cannot count on great wyrmlings to always come and save the day. I need to train harder.
I train myself alone, at the moment. Perhaps Jessup wishes to observe how do I fare alone. I shall have to prove myself to him, then. Some techniques, I am developing myself. Existing ones, I am trying to master. Some, I have mastered already. I am so very close to mastering the Ki Strike - implementing Ki into my strike, using it as a force to harm.
I am slowly perfecting my body. I am already faster, more agile, more flexible. Diseases are beyond me, and soon, I shall also understand how to draw poison from my system.
But this is just the Mastery of one side, out of three. Soon, I can begin focusing more on my Spirit and Mind.
Perfection.
Aros guides me. Aros protects me. With his Wisdom, I shall know how to tread this path.
I have met in the Icy Vale another of my Brothers. A Mage, Yggsdrazil, an Arosian. One who seems wise. One who seems to be blessed with enough Wisdom, to have a lucid understanding of things. Some call us Arrogant, but they do not understand. There is nothing arrogant with accepting reality. And reality, at the moment, shows that Humans and some other of the Lessers find it difficult to achieve power and control it properly. It is also admitting reality when saying our City is Fairer, as are our people. Our eyes, keener. Our ears, sharper. Our bodies blessed with more grace and beauty. And we are also granted long lives. It is our task to protect the Lessers from their own ignorance, even when we are called Arrogant.
Aros's will be done.
I see my family, and I love them. We must take care of one another. I have met a new Sister, a promising one, even in regard to her past. Aeryth. Grown up in her woods all her life. She knows little of Ferein, and even less of the Gods. I care for her. I wish to teach her what there is to know of the world. For someone who has been in the Woods her entire life, she is adopting very well. Promising.
I wonder if she could enjoy Tea. That would be pleasant. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 09 Jul 2006 01:52 AM |
[The following is calmly inked in an incredibly neat precise handwriting; all the letters are of the same type and size, in Elven]
ENTRY IV
It pains me to see how the misguided ways of some of my bretheren harms the Lessers so. 'Beasts', 'Animals' they are called by them. They do not see the marvelous sentient beings before them. True, while Elves are different than them, it would be narrow-sighted of me to not admit the Lessers have their own wonders in them, and that there are things to learn from them too.
Half-Breeds above most suffer. They go through such anguish and also bodily pain at times, because of their mixed blood. Is there justice in this? Should a Child be held responsible for the decisions his or her Parents have made? We cannot be superior amongst the Races, if compassion and mercy and forgiveness are traits unknown to us! Must we shun people away? No. Aros demands we serve as Protectors, and so I shall. And yet, some are shunned away? In order to protect, must we not understand those whom we guard? Would that not make us more efficient in our tasks? I am regretful that some of my Kin fail to see this, and that even more extreme ones wish to kill the Lessers. Massacre. Insanity, nothing more.
A Huntress of His tormented a Half-Breed. I felt true helplessness at that day. By Aros, it will not forever be like this. I have none truly dear to me at the moment, yet I care for the Lessers, and I will not stand idle and watch as others are being hurt. My strength does not suffice? I shall punch and kick the wall one-hundred times a day. My speed does not suffice? I shall run up to Icy Vale and back to the Great Plains five times a day. My knowledge does not suffice? I shall befriend myself with the Lessers to understand their grief. It is arduous, but if this is what is required of me, I shall fully commit myself to it.
That poor Half-Elf, how shattered she is now from a wicked heart of a Huntress. She seemed more Elf than Human, in appearance. I must seek her heart - people in states such as she is are prone to do something irrational. Aros, please, I need your Wisdom to heal her.
Sulanna, as always, treated me with some contempt. Another woman, though, caught my attention. Unexpectedly, she was a Human. Lady Serai. I consider it brave of her to stay with the Half-Elf while being 'played' with by the Huntress, when she is not Elf herself, let alone speak with the Huntress. That was kind of her. She is also shrewd. Perhaps I will meet her again, but in more pleasant conditions.
I spoke with Nidarren a bit of the 'Perfection' we strive to achieve. Asked him if it means we cannot break, and if that means we will be emotionless. That is not what I seek. I doubt Nidarren seeks to be emotionless as well. I may not seem so, at times, but I am not emotionless. I fear people might get that impression from me. If I can make them more comfortable near me, I shall. If not, I fear they will have to understand me. But striving for Emotionlessness? No, I do not consider that perfection. Emotions are more powerful than anything. It is enough to see the enmity that drove that Huntress to the amazing skills she has, or the courage people like Serai show out of love, even an iota of it. Emotions are strong, the Perfection I seek, and I imagine many more Monks as well, as enough inner-tranquility to control Emotions impeccably, and not let them control us - as is the case with many, sadly.
We are all family, us, the Elves, the Fair folk. Yet, even amongst family, there are quarrels and arguments and disagreements. A Sister who decides to harm people and be a Huntress and a Brother who decides to guard and be a Protector are still Kin. I want to unite us. I hate seeing the gross separation between us, all the hatred that brews. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 11 Jul 2006 04:11 PM |
[The following is calmly inked in an incredibly neat precise handwriting; all the letters are of the same type and size, in Elven]
ENTRY V
dang those who knowingly lead people into such situations.
Her mind is still young, despite having to endure what hardships it faced. I imagine mostly insults and attacks that were meant to hurt more than to harm. Killing it not something so simple.
She was a Monk, once. But she left the Monastery, because she did not find the fairness she sought. Alas, that is no reason to become a Monk, and it was for the best for her to leave, if joining had to do with such reasons in the first place. No, if she wishes to become a Monk, then it must be for the right choices. Our life does not enable many luxuries, it invites many ordeals and pain is by far stranger to us. It demands control of emotions. How many are the people who could keep their consciousness in the peak of whatever feeling? Few.
I wonder if it was my place to do what I have done. She believes I helped her, and perhaps it is so. But who is to say my help will indeed produce anything? I am but a simple Monk, and while I grow by myself, and do so rather well, I still learn myself. I am even to become, maybe, an Apprentice. And there I was, teaching her of fighting and of philosophy and of what she should aim for, when I myself and still a student.
A student! And there I was, teaching! I cannot know if I am qualified for such, and Aros have mercy on me if I have wronged the woman. I put on a face of a cruel person, I taunted her, and I fought her rather brutally. It gained its purpose - she displayed unwavering pride against the insults, and the beating grabbed her attention and held it there. She endured pain, yes, and I am sorry that I was forced to hurt her already wounded self even more. But I delivered only physical pain, in order to bolster her mind and spirit. Should she have indeed been a weakling, the pain - and it was enough to have me pray to Aros for forgiveness - would have fogged her consciousness and she would have been broken.
She did not break.
I made a new woman of her, one who believes she wants to become a Monk. It is my doing, and as such, she is my responsibility, until she learns to stand by herself. My siblings might frown upon me for taking one of the Lessers (and a half-breed, no less) under my care - should she accept - but what Holier act is there? We are childs of Aros, and as such, we must become Protectors! Protectors, of the Lessers, of the Weak, of those who are unprotected and have no means to do such. I can embrace her as a child, and like a child, I shall teach her to first stand, then walk, afterwards run and from then... who knows. And I shall pity the ignorant who consider her filth for being a half-breed. Her parents committed a mistake, and why should she be held responsible? Her Elven parent will learn - to bond, to bear a child, with a Human. This is why Love can be the most powerful and most dangerous emotion - this Elf shall live his or her entire life alone, eventually, and that is a long life. Those who seek Love and are destined to live their life without it any longer suffer daily.
If she wishes for such, I shall teach her what I know, while I grow and learn myself. This is a new test for me - to see if indeed, truly, my own techniques and my own training are unproductive. And if I just lead this woman to a worse life, then have Aros curse me until I remedy what ill I might bring. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 31 Jul 2006 04:42 AM |
[Scribed in the usual fine Elven writing; the letters being identical to one another]
ENTRY VI
You train, you study, and you at times believe things are progressing so steadily, that things are so carefully planned, that nothing can occur without anticipating it beforehand and producing safety measures to prevent it from disturbing your development.
And so, you commit a foolish mistake - Friendship becomes an alien term to you.
And you seek to unveil the wonders of the world, but alone.
And you seek to understand the earth, but alone.
And you seek to understand yourself, and you have only yourself afterwards.
And your plans are met with unexpected hindrances, and you are alone to deal with them. The only counsel I may seek is that of my own. A foolish mistake I have made, indeed. And now I must amend things by myself. I must observe the reasons that have brought me to this stage, understand what different courses I may take now, and analyze each one.
What was flawed in my teachings? I am not certain yet whether or not I regret what I have learned and who I have grown to become.
Physical pain is simple. That I can escape easily. Emotional pain is much more complicated and difficult to cope with. Bearing the knowledge that you might not have a place in what you thought to be your home and that your beliefs were wrong in the eyes of He who you seek to appease... that is pain. Ignorance indeed can be bliss, Serai.
Do I change my beliefs, or do I change my allegiance and life manner? I understand now better than ever why the Other races view us as arrogant beings. It seems I was blinded, after all. Put into place by the very one who I sought to serve! Quite ironic, to say the least.
No time for book reading in the nearby future. Not only the test to prepare for, but now also the effects of quite a shattering evening.
My mind is not at ease, my thoughts are not organized. Very unfitting of a Monk. Relaxation is powerful. I need Tea. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
|
Re: Writings of a Monk
Posted: 26 Aug 2006 10:56 AM |
[The following Elven, while being elegant, seems to have been written by a shaky hand.]
ENTRY VII
I am fortunate that my spirit and heart have not been permanently changed. My attempts of understanding other aspects of Ki have been disastrous, nearly fatal. I delved so much into negative energy, under the belief that it is necessary for the mastering of the Quivering Palm, though I was wrong to think so. I did not realize first, I was too eager.
From the learnings I have gathered, I came to understand the following;
A rapid, extreme change shakes your entity out of balance, but balance is required in anything, and so the trio is coerced into a change, so your being may be balanced. The energy one uses is likely to determine his persona and way of life, because one's body, mind and spirit are required to adapt to the energy for the entity to continue existing. While positive energy is used to create, negative energy is used to destroy, and so its nature is detrimental. Hate, spite, anger... negative energy is fraught with them, and so when one's mind and spirit are changed to adapt to the use of such energy, the entity turns to a horrible being.
My discipline and knowledge from my training as a Monk allowed me a modicum of control over my spirit, though I cannot be certain I would have still controlled myself should I have trained more profoundly in the use of such energy.
I believe that when one is wreathed in such energy, his mind at first might form reasons, goals and explanations for the hatred and anger, and so he is aware of himself and is still allowed thought that reaches outside these emotions. But this is only at an early stage. Eventually, one is driven only by emotions, not logic. They are compelled to satisfying these emotions, and lose what sense they had.
To not satisfy these emotions would be to shake the entity out of balance, and perhaps even pain him. If it is possible to change such beings, I do not know yet. Perhaps, the only way I will know is by becoming one, but that would be impossible since should I become one, my thoughts will not lean to such matters. Another option would be actually changing one.
These are my brief conclusions on the matter. I shall resume learning it when I have recovered.
I am fortunate to have remained myself, though I fear it has come with the cost of a dear friend. I have not seen her for a while now, and I can only hope I have not devastated her. I will not be able to forgive myself if that is the case.
My learning aside, a grave matter has come to pass. Six children of Elbereth have been murdered. While I do not yet know the details, it is said that Dana and Ophelia have committed these atrocious acts. I knew Dana held hatred towards us Elves, but I did not suspect she might murder six of us. Not only did she devastate several Elven families, but I imagine her friends, considering they have any semblance of humanity about them, are wounded as well.
Alis revealed to be in much pain. She considers Dana her friend, though she is at a loss now concerning her.
I believe that Dana will be executed. An understandable solution, though one that will bring to nothing. You do not solve violence with violence. The spirit cannot be changed by harming one's body. Execution will merely be the easy solution, and I fear the Council and the Princess will resort to it. Understandable. In today's world, it would be a sign of weakness to not kill someone that has murdered six of your people.
But I feel that Dana is not beyond saving, as ridiculous as that may seem. It is enough to see that she has changed once in the past for Alis, so she will not hurt her, to see that she can still feel positive feelings. And if she feels that way, it proves there is some light within her misguided mind. And that is enough to change her, I trust. Though, for that, close friends are required. And ones that care enough to try and save her, such as Alis.
Ophelia I do not know well. We are only briefly acquainted. Though, from the short time I time I have spent with her, she came off urbane. She did not express any hatred towards me as an Elf. I wonder of the motives one such as her might have for killing six people, for being born Elves. I would have thought such blind and misguided hatred to be beyond her. It is something I will have to discover.
But I still suspect this will matter little to people. A nation is expected to express strength, and mercy today is not perceived as strong, but rather weakness.
Time will unravel Dana and Ophelia's fate. |
Ayntherian Tîwele - Elven Monk, earnest student of Ki and the Martial Arts
His Diary - Updated at 26/8/2006 with ENTRY VII |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|