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Days and Deeds
Posted: 07 Dec 2005 02:12 PM |
I have decided that I should be keeping some sort of record of my time here, in case anything I find should be useful to others who may follow.
I am Ulalume. My family name, once among the oldest and proudest in all of Midor and the envy of everyone at the Academy, was sullied by the foolish actions of my uncle and is now forever lost to me. I have adopted the moniker "A'Midori," which means simply "of Midor," and I hope that I can bring honor and glory to this new family in my service to our Just and Righteous Lord.
Upon my graduation from the Academy I had a vision, which was to guide me to my life's work: I saw seven gentle ladies offering herbs and medicines to a horde of leprous wretches, unafraid for themselves. After a little research I knew this had to represent the Enclave of the Seven Sisters, and that I was to help them in their noble service. I set out for Port Royale as a roaming Knight Errant of Midoran, to be a shining example of righteousness and mercy in an unholy land.
I admit that I have always had a certain.. fascination for elves. I know that they worship false gods and they are capable of acts of wanton destruction and immorailty, but their beauty and capacity for poetry and music.. it seems to me that Midoran could not have made beings of such quality without instilling them with a measure of goodness - surely there is just as much evil in the hearts of men. I am happy to report, since my arrival in Port Royale I have made the acquaintance of many elves, and have found them just as I have always believed. I believe Midoran has a special task for me: the folk around here have heard His divine message, they know all too well of His Just Hand - but they have not felt His Healing Forgiveness, or His Tender Mercy. I shall show them though example that we who follow Midoran are not monsters, that Midoran has room in His house for all, even elves, thieves and heathens - provided that they propery repent and accept His forgiveness, of course.
It is my firm belief that the best way to effect the change in their hearts necessary for them to embrace Midoran is to provide an example. To this end, I shall be here to serve the people of Port Royale and I shall refrain from preaching to them as much as possible. These are a hardy, adventuring folk - I believe if I spend my time in the pursuit of glorious deeds I shall have more esteem in their eyes. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself I shall not shy away from professing my faith - such an opportunity came the other day as I explored the ruined city of Lynaeum. My group met up with Jorael Horserider, a priest of a false forest goddess, and when he attempted to tell us of her grace I rebuked him.
The companions I have found have almost all been noble and valorous. Nathan O'Reilly, Tomi Swiftfoot, Master Oragastus the Mage and a mysterious man named Kale have all aided me in the pursuit of noble deeds, without any remunerative motivations.. Nathan gave me an evil weapon he found in the ruins of Lynaeum so that I might destroy it, and Tomi Swiftfoot helped me to find the remains of a poor farmer in a cave infested with giant insects and deliver his final words to his worried widow. Kale aided me in the destruction of a foul hag in the Nebwood and the recovery of a medicinal ointment for a commoner named Fred. I thank Midoran for these helpful new friends and pray that I might move their hearts and minds to embrace Him fully in His glory. I am hoping deeds such as these shall earn me the respect of the people of Port Royale, that they might learn the Majesty and Love of my Lord.
I have been tithing regularly to the Sisters and hope to soon be recognized as an official member of their order. Midoran has favored me with greater and greater healing as my needs have grown, and I hope the church shall follow suit and grant me a blade worthy of my station.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 13 Dec 2005 08:10 AM |
I write this entry with many questions in my head and heart. I pray Midoran shall grant me the wisdom to sort the truth from the falsehood.
I returned to Midor to bring the foul instrument of evil we found in the ruins of Lynaeum to the priests, who might properly dispose of it to the greater glory of Midoran. Along the way I met Master Oragastus, a most welcome friendly face. I inquired about the process of destroying an enchanted item with him, and he had an idea of how it might be done without magical means - something I had hoped might be possible, since I am loathe to bring such a vile instrument within Midoran's holy city. I think now Midoran sent Oragastus to show me the proper way, that I might not soil His avenues and spires with its foul shadow. He lead me along paths beyond the Midoran frontier, insisting that he magically shield us - at first I did not understand, but soon I came to realize what he was so cautious of. As lighting illuminated the darkness around us, I could see many giants surrounding us on all sides - oblivious to our presence, but startling nonetheless. I thought to engage them, but I knew our mission of destroying the sword was too important to allow my sinful pride to jeopardize. We continued on, deep into hostile territory, until I saw what our destination was: a river of fire belching forth from the bowels of the earth and cascading down the rock face beneath a footbridge. I walked to the middle of the bridge, said a prayer to Midoran, and dropped it into the fire. I braced myself for some sort of punctuation to the deed, but it simply slipped beneath the surface and disappeared with no more noise or fanfare than a shadow across the moon. We returned to Midor, where Master Oragastus had prior commitments.
I had been intending on returning to Midor for the Season of Midoran, so I decided to remain rather than return to Port Royale for a short time and waste a few hundred gold on shipfare. My funds are not dangerously low, but my regular tithes and refusals of payment have made it necessary for me to watch any extravagancies. Also, I admit that I have missed the quiet order of this place. There is nothing like the Season of Midoran in Midor... the chanting in the streets, hundreds of the faithful walking the city, all dressed in black, all of one mind and soul, focused on the impending celebration of that glorious day when Midoran showed Himself to the Aristi and forever changed this world. There is something so comforting about being in that crowd, being not an oddity but a seamless part of a vast landscape of humanity, being.... accepted. May Midoran grant me the strength and the wisdom to bring others into the fold, that they might experience this feeling for themselves!
After purchasing some modest robes for the season, I decided to take the ferry over to the island and pay a visit to the hallowed halls of the Academy, where I have spent so many wonderful years... it was there I learned the truth. And to think I had just extolled the virtues of my companions! I almost fell over when I learned that Tomi Swiftfoot was one of the foul thieves who defiled our temple and was publicly maimed. How could the same being, in whom I had detected no malice and who had helped me with no greater interest to himself, how could he be the same one who pilfered objects from Midoran's Holy House? I am praying for guidance in this matter - perhaps there was some sort of horrible mistake, and Tomi was innocent of the crime? I shall have to discuss this with him the next time I see him, no matter how awkward it may be.
While I was shopping for my Season robes I found a reason to return to Port Royale after all: Mister Versucci approached me about finding one of his former shop girls - he said the last place he had seen her was on the docks. I agreed to try to find her, and he gave me a letter to give to her. As I made my way to the shop, I knew where I had to look first - a desperate girl on the docks would have only one logical place to turn. I entered the whorehouse and headed for the top floor - I knew I would have to speak with some of the girls in order to get the truth. I was told by a frightened girl that yes, the shop girl had been there, but had disappeared. She said I should try the office, but it was locked when I approached, and seemed stout enough.
I have no skill at picking locks, but I know one who does, and who expressed interest in helping me when I might need it. Although I have doubts about the finer points of the legality of his activities, I know him to be a good person and one worthy of my trust. I am about to board a ship back to Port Royale, to find Kale and to make my regular tithe to the Seven Sisters. I just pray that we are not too late to help that poor girl.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 19 Dec 2005 12:43 AM |
Much has happened since my last entry.
I was able to help the young girl, who I found in the meditation garden at the Enclave of the Seven Sisters. I needed to make an extract of aloe root, which I discovered was only found in the Buckshire Swamp, a most dangerous locale. Luckily I was able to find a local herbalist who had the extract and was kind enough to help me. As payment, I accompanied him on a mining expedition near Midor, where we met up with something of a local hero: Talion Deraith, a man who has made a name for himself battling evil creatures around Midor. We were heading into an area known to have shapeshifters, so Talion gave me a wonderful gift: a beautiful silver longsword that glowed cold blue in the darkness. Unfortunately it proved too great a gift for my meager talents, as I could not wield it effectively, as I was unused to the weight and feel of the blade. I vowed to practice with it until I could be effective with it, and prove worth of Talion's trust.
After our mission I wandered the streets of Midor, where I met the most interesting dwarf: her name is Telli and she seems to be a priest of some sort of false dwarven ancestor god. Goodness and honesty seem to well from her very being, and she was to prove a most stalwart and worthy companion. We ventured forth to the graveyard outside the city walls, where we spoke with the groundskeeper and discovered his wife had recently passed, but he could not venture within to lay flowers at her grave, since the walking dead were infesting the place. I searched the surrounding area for help and met a rather charming man named Karriston at the Brandibuck Apothecary, who agreed to accompany us. Additionally, we met Lucius and Talion at the gates of Midor, and Talion had yet another magnificent gift for me: he had noticed how I struggled in the weight of my full plate armor, and had fashioned me a suit made from tin, which was much lighter and easier to move in. This armor also glowed in the darkness, and made me feel every inch the holy warrior that I aspire to be. He said that he had made an identical suit for Sir Cedrych von Maistlin, an Errant Knight I had been corresponding with in Port Royale, and I was pleased to be included in such esteemed company. Our morale high, we proceeded into the yawning tomb.
Right away, it was clear there was something wrong, as the dead we encountered inside seemed much more organized and deadly than we expected. We experienced heavy losses,and were forced to pull back. Talion told us to retreat, that he and a companion sorceror who mysteriously appeared during the fray would take care of things. Reluctantly, we left them to the work and headed back to Midor, despirited.
We headed for the temple to report the unusual undead activity, and on the way met one of the teachers at the Academy, who was also a soldier in the army of the Just Hand. We reported our findings to him, and he disappeared into the crowd. Telli went off to the markets and I decided to return to Port Royale in the company of Karriston and an interesting young man named Garrak. On the voyage I mentioned to them my desire to brave the dangers of the Buckshire Swamp, and they agreed to accompany me. After a brief stop at the Four Winds, we headed into the swamp. Within we found giant toads, and farther in, evil frog-like demons Garrak called slaads. I had never heard of them, but they were formidable foes indeed. After we had ventured inside for a while, we ran out of bandages and decided to retreat.
I made my way back to the Enclave of the Seven Sisters to tithe, rest, and clean the swamp muck from my brilliant new suit of armor. There, before the fire, I met a knight of Aros, and we spoke for quite a while. He told me of his homeland, the beautiful forest kingdom of Ferein, and my heart ached to see it. I had been told all my life that this was an evil realm of capricioius pixies and dark druids who would kill and cannibalize any Midoran who dared enter their demense, but though I tried with every ounce of training and instict I had, I could observe not the least bit of deceit or treachery in the elf before me. He seemed exactly what he claimed: a noble defender of good and justice, and I longed to see the land that created such a specimen.
The night grows dark and my eyes heavy - I shall save the next, darker words for a later time.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 21 Dec 2005 06:02 PM |
As I sat with Rhaengar, my new elven acquaintance, a man staggered out of the rest area. It was clear he had been severely wounded - not an uncommon sight at the Enclave, but what caught my attention was the look in his eyes: pure, unadulterated fear. Before any introductions could be made, he said simply that his companion had fallen. Then he said his name, a single word that seemed to bring my world down to a tiny point of sorrow: Talion.
Talion had fallen, according to the man, deep beneath Port Royale, battling the undead. I couldn't believe it - the warrior I had seen in the Midor Crypts not half a day earlier had seemed invincible. Now, apparently, he was gone, and I was powerless to do anything about it. I couldn't even use the silver longsword he had so generously.
I felt like a fraud. I wore the shiny armor of a knight of Midoran, but when it came down to the essence of the job - rescuing a man in need - I was as powerless as a newborn babe. Luckily, something happened next to take my mind of my own inadequacies.
Another man emerged from the rest area, this one completely different from the first. Where the first gentleman had been dressed in somewhat frayed but still stylish silks, this man was dressed in tattered rags, as if some beast had ripped the clothes from his body. I could clearly see a snake tattoo on his chest, and felt nothing but malice and hatred in his heart. He collapsed before us, and I could see he was feverish. While Rhaengar held him down I ran to fetch something from the infirmary to help with his fever. I returned with a green tea poultice, and saw that he was convulsing on the ground. I could sense a growing malice emanating from the tattoo on his chest; when I felt it I pulled my hand away in pain. It was scalding hot, certainly no natural phenomenon. I pulled my holy symbol off its chain and pressed it into his flesh, imploring Midoran to help with this poor man's affliction. Instead, the man screamed in agony, arose to his feet, and disappeared out the door. Rhaegar and I gave chase, but found nothing. |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 27 Dec 2005 05:02 PM |
Again, much has transpired since I have last written.
First and most importantly, I have met two noble knights of Midoran, and they could not be more different from one another. First, while I was doing some tailoring in Port Royale I made the acquaintance of Sir Cedrych von Maistlin, after corresponding with him a few times. He asked me to have dinner with him at the Cafe Del Mar, and even though I knew his interest to be purely professional, I still found myself drifting off occasionally, daydreaming that we were an actual couple, that he had asked for the pleasure of my company because he found the shape of my face pleasing or enjoyed the curve of my neckline. I have never been what you might call a socialite, but one can be surrounded by the bravest, most handsome bachelors in Midor day in and day out for so long before one resorts to daydreams. I found Cedrych to be a perfect gentleman, and I wa relieved when he seemed to agree with me on most matters. We spoke of the rebellion and Midor's political and spiritual difficulties, and he told me more about his experiences with my old comrade, Tomi Swiftfoot... apparently Tomi has recently assaulted and seriously injured another knight of Midoran, Sir Enacra. According to Cedryh's account, which I have no reason to doubt, Tomi has chosen to walk a dark path, and I pray for his soul.
The following day, after a mining expedition with Telli Thunden, I ran into Sir Enacra on the Great Plain. He seemed interested in making my acquaintance, and I was rather flattered that such a successful Errant knight would take an interest in me. He asked me to dinner, and since Telli had many hours of smelting ahead of her, I accepted. We dined at the Unicorn, getting a small table away from the crowded center so we could have a modicum of privacy. I quickly learned he was a very rare type of paladin: he belonged to a secretive and selective order that most of us call the Holy Fist. They believe that the sword should only be used as a last resort, and train themselves in the art of pugilism until their fists can be a deadly as a blade. While I admire this level of focus and dedication, the brothers of the Holy Fist are notorious for keeping to themselves, and Sir Enacra was no different. It was a pleasant meal, although somewhat quiet. Sir Enacra is a devoted knight, but not exactly deft in the art of conversation. He left as suddenly as he had appeared, begging my pardon and explaining that he could not remain in one place too long.
Two knights in two nights.. I am becoming quite the socialite. It is nice to finally feel a part of a group, and to know my bretheren on sight. I hope we shall have to opportunity to face evil together sometime soon.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 10 Jan 2006 07:55 AM |
I have allowed some time to pass before writing on the subject of the Purge, so as to gain a certain amount of perspective on the matter. I have been accosted many times, by many different people. Perhaps the most poignant was Sampson. I first met Sampson in Port Royale, when I went to Omiga's to window shop. I heard voices coming from the back rooms, and recognized one as Lucius', so I walked behind the counter to see to whom he was talking.
I should interject here that this was the day after the Purge, and I had started the day following the mandate of my Church... I dyed my robes red. For a while, it was liberating- as if I'd assumed the identity of the monster that these people had painted for me these weeks I had been here. Now, rather than scorn and derision, I was greeted with fear. I must admit, there was a part of me that reveled in it. It felt powerful.
Sampson saw me in the red and immediately began hounding me, calling me a murderer and insisting that he would not turn his back to me. He mockingly referred to me as "Red", even though he was told my proper name. When it became clear that Lucius would be safer if I accompanied them (they were to fight ogres near Midor), I volunteered to join them. We sat down to settle our differences at the Four Winds before we left for Midor, and Sampson coninued to hound me... I nearly lost my composure. I understand now that the whole time I was being tested, to see to what extreme I would remain faithful to the Code or give in to pride and vanity.
Ironically as we were heading out I met Sir Percival Sanner, a newly-minted Righteous Sword, who ended up getting into a verbal spat with Bognar, the third of Lucius' companions. I headed off to Midor with emotions nearly eating a hole through my belly.
Once we arrived we ran into many people, including Sir Cedrych von Maistlin... for the first time, I saw him in the tin armor made for him by Talion, and the sight of his stout frame encased on the regal suit at the very spot I had met Talion for the first time nearly brought tears to my eyes. Cedrych came along with us as we headed into the wilds.
As we entered the cavern, we saw many tough ogres. A desperate battle followed, which began with Sampson hurling himself at the ogre chieftain and getting pounded nearly flat to the ground for his efforts... poor lad. He never saw the club coming.
Bognar seemed to enter almost a berserker rage, running around and killing everything he saw. I, however, knew that Sam was not beyond help, and accompanied Cedrych back to Midor. Torim, the beast man who would later threaten me with death on the streets of Port Royale, carried the injured Sam.
At the healer's I did everything I could to minister to his wounds, which were quite grievous. What he needed above all was rest, but he would not sleep, so I prepared him a sleeping draught and sang to him a lullabye my nurse used to sing to me. When he awoke from his coma, he regarded me with a new light... somehow Midoran had removed the rage from his heart and allowed him to see me as I truly desire to be. It was a miracle. He gave me a shield of the Order of Midoran in penance for his actions, which I gladly accepted for the glory of His Name. He asked if he could still call me "Red", as it was easier for him to pronounce than the name given to my by my father. After some thought, I agreed - I want it to serve as a reminder to me hereafter of how I nearly lost my soul following the events of the Purge.
I can see now that actions can move people's hearts, that this blasted reputation can be overcome and that Midoran will reach out to remove the blindness and ignorance that affects these heathen. Vidus may be right - the color of Midor may be red at the moment. But my color, as a missionary and servant in His glorious name in the city of Port Royale, is and shall always be white, for white is the color of mercy and forgiveness, of wisdom and purity. The way I shall reach these people is through tenderness, not intolerance.
Juylina approached me on the Great Plains the following day, offering me a suit of red armor in honor of Midor's new direction. I politely refused, telling her that I preferred the suit Talion made me. She seems to revel in the madness and brutality surrounding these events, and I no longer trusted her - deservedly so, I was to find out shortly. After she left I was asked why I socialized with a high priestess of Naruth, and it all made sense. I know now that she is a temptress, and shall never fall sway under her words again.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midor |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 11 Jan 2006 02:35 AM |
I have undertaken many journeys with my comrades lately, mostly in the Icy Lands. We have fought all manner of craven beasts, and helped many an innocent. I have kept up with my tailoring, and have begun learning to brew salves and curatives for the sisters, as well... this last has demanded that I learn the craft of glassmaking, but that goes slowly. I have taken to hunting bears and ettins to keep my swordsmanship sharp, and I also continue to develop the skills I learned in Ferein. I have felt Midoran's will guiding me of late, his divine power working through me as never before - there is no more exhilarating feeling than being on the side of righteousness.
My thoughts on the rebellion remain unchanged, but I now understand a bit more of what Enacra meant when he said there were more pressing concerns for our church. I have seen great evil, and have sensed none in the hearts of those rebels I have met (rebels by whom, I have come to believe, Sampson is now being trained in the ways of the Aristi).
I worry for Radra. She is clearly ill and believes it is due to old age, but I strongly suspect she is coming under the effects of whatever is afflicting the folk of Ferein. I worry that she is convinced that her death is imminent, and seeks to hasten it by placing herself in danger... I shall try to stay close to her and protect her as best I can. When I helped her into the Seven Sisters a few days ago, she was in something of a fevered dream, and called me Samantha... apparently, her daughter. When she awoke, she insisted that she had never had a daughter. For some reason, her mistaking me for this Samantha has made me feel more connected with her... perhaps it is because I never knew my own mother. In any case, Radra has proved herself to be a true and able ally, and I shall do whatever I can to protect her in the coming days.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 23 Jan 2006 04:40 PM |
Tests.
I have met someone who tests my patience and gentility at every turn: Balthor Mountainhand. He has helped me to understand why Midorans are so wary of arcane magic and its practicioners: it leads to great power, which leads to an inflated ego and a loss of humility. Balthor seems to think that everything is for sale, he can treat whomever he wants however he wants, and no consequences shall befall him. I traveled with Tomi and others to Maldovia, to claim the sword Blood Drinker from Lex in order to barter with the Gathering for the safety of Port Royale... much to my chagrin, Balthor was among them, and insisted on constantly insulting Midoran in my presence. When we had to negotiate with a vampiress to obtain the sword, the fool even bared his flesh and asked to be made undead by her! He expressed his hope to become a lich, an undertaking I have a secret hope he succeeds in, that I might hunt him down and destroy him. Midoran help me, I know I should feel pity for him and attempt to save his soul, but I can feel nothing for him but contempt and loathing.
My experiences with him have given me insight to my dealings with Lucius, and I think this is the lesson Midoran has hoped I would learn from having to deal with Balthor... Lucius' soul is in jeopardy - serious jeopardy. As he grows in power, he must not follow Balthor's path to self-glorification and narcissism. All his troubles so far - his indulgence in drink, his fascination with A'mael.. they are all rooted in self-indulgence. I fear that Juylina is playing on this weakness, as her compatriot Macha Sparrowsong has befriended Lucius and has been spending an inordinate amount of time in his company. I can almost see their tendrils encircling him, but it seems the more I warn him of the danger of their company, the more he insists he is above their influence. I feel I am in a tug-of-war for his soul, and I cannot lose. By Midoran's Grace I swear, if Juylina or Macha cause Lucius any harm whatsoever, I shall smite them both down.
My progress continues.. since I have had trouble in the past dealing foes decisive blows, I have concentrated on strength training, and have seen noticeable results. I have purchased a beautiful, rare Unicorn shield from the Academy, but its heft remains unfamiliar and I have yet to use it to its full effectiveness. Despite my setbacks, I feel that I have become an effective servant of Midoran, and I look forward to accomplishing the tasks I am sure He shall send to me.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 24 Jan 2006 12:37 PM |
A Leaf on the Wind
I met Londo Bywater as I lugged a few hundred pounds of sand up to the tinker's forge in Buckshire. He asked me if I was a knight, and then started a barrage of probing questions about my faith, about good and evil, and about the rebellion... he made it clear that he associates with Byron Lorian and his band, but rather than confrontational, he seemed genuinely interested in knowing the truth. I did my best to explain my positions to him, and he seemed to suddenly light up. I had thought it the breath of Midoran whispering the truth in his ear - maybe it was. I know now that he is but a leaf on the wind of that breath, though - fluttering to and fro, with never a constant bearing.
I took him to Midor, where I instructed him on swearing loyalty to Midoran at the temple. He completed this, to great applause and fanfare from the clergy and visiting laity. A few even stepped forward to embrace the little man, which I found touching - how can people say that all Midorans are ignorant racists? I know not one Midoran who would not embrace an elf, dwarf, or whatever else if that person knelt before the Throne and swore his loyalty to the Just Hand and call them brother. We rejoice, because we know that person has been saved from eternal damnation - in fact, we love others more than they will ever know.
He wanted to know about becoming a paladin, so I took him to the Isle and showed him the Academy - he seemed awed, which brought me a certain amount of satisfaction, I must admit. He seemed enthusiastic and ready to begin his studies, so I lent him my key and left to allow the Word of Midoran to seep into his soul. When next I saw him, just outside the city walls a few days later, he thanked me and returned my key, and seemed possessed by the spirit of Midoran... I felt a great deal of pride, though I know it was Midoran who did the heavy lifting, and I was but a vessel of His truth. I even boasted of my accomplishment to Cedrych - it just made me feel that our whole foray to the licentious cesspool that is Port Royale was worthwhile after all, that our goals might just be attainable. I hope that my foolish pride did not curse us in the eyes of Midoran, for my "triumph" was not to last.
The next time I saw Londo, he sought me out in the Seven Sisters, (I was tending Radra after she made the rather foolish decision to get near a skeleton warrior as I engaged it in battle) and seemed extremely anxious to speak with me. I left Radra in the care of Garick and followed Londo down the hall. He started blathering about Midoran's will not being good, and wanting to do good, and how did I know that I was doing was right - things that made me see how little he did absorb at the Academy. He announced that he was returning to the rebellion, which I cannot say is too great a loss for us, considering his record of fidelity so far.
I pray that the light shall return to his heart, and he shall see the error of his ways. I also pray it was not my own damned pride that caused the ire of Midoran.. I shall spend a few days in prayer to contemplate my own culpability, and see how I might improve my behavior in the future.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 26 Jan 2006 01:19 AM |
Lucius came to find me in Icy Vale, saying he needed to speak with me urgently. There was something in his manner that worried me - he was oddly serious, even paranoid. He sat at the table in the Icy Vale Inn and whispered to me, as if Mister Miggins' cat was going to report him to some hidden villain. Finally he trusted being inside no longer, and we went outside to speak in the graveyard, where only the dead would overhear. Even then, he insisted on sitting practically in my lap and whispering to me.
Lucius is convinced that the Raven, which appears to A'mael and him regularly is no mere harbinger, but actually the false Elvish god Tarik.. He believes Macha to be the spawn of Tarik, and that this malevolent demon now seeks to corrupt A'mael, drawing her away from the worship of Elbereth.
I have to say, I did not know how to respond. Certainly, I believe that higher beings take interest in the affairs of men, and I believe that it is possible that this Tarik is seeking to corrupt the followers of Elbereth... but the import of that fact is lost on me. What does it matter what false god one worships, as long as it is not the one true God above them all? Lucius consorts freely with Macha, and doesn't seem to mind that she follows this dark "god" - why should he care to whom A'mael gives her suppliance? The cosmology of the elves and dwarves is lost on me.. to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that they have souls, in the same sense that we do. If they do, those souls seem much more tied to this world - rocks, trees, animals... it seems to me that they are forever doomed to haunt this world, so long as they engage in primitive ancestor worship. The trouble is, they cannot be convinced that their idols are mere reflections of this world, and are similarly flawed and unreliable. Only Midoran rises above all - once one realizes this and gives Him their undying devotion, all else takes care of itself. While I feel compassion for these elves and dwarves I have met - certainly, Radra and Telli are people I would defend with my life, and they have never let me down when I have depended upon them - there is simply nothing that I can do to force them to give up their ancestral myths. I must be content to be an example, and pray that Midoran clears the cobwebs from their eyes when He wills it.
I met A'mael in Buckshire shortly thereafter, and delivered Lucius' message. She gave me a black rose, and asked that I give it to Lucius... when I asked her if he would know the significance of this gift, she said that she did not know herself. I implored her to spare Lucius' feelings if at all possible, and she seemed no less concerned with him. I think that perhaps the longevity of elves when compared to humans makes them forget how fleeting it all can be. In any case, I remain completely puzzled by her behavior - either she loves him, or she does not. They both would be better served if she would make a firm decision and allow them both to move on. Certainly, Lucius is at a point in his life where he needs something solid to hold on to, not some flightly elf who does not herself understand the signals she is sending to him. He really deserves someone to love him.. I pray that Midoran grant him that soon.
On this same subject, Radra asked me the strangest thing in the Seven Sisters, while I tended her wounds from our ill-fated trip to Lynaeum. She asked me if I had anyone, if something should happen to her. What an odd question.. I am sure that Radra shall be here long after I join Midoran in paradise. Truly, it is I who should be concerned for her future, but I assured her that I had a good group to depend upon. She then asked if I had ever considered marrying Lucius! The notion nearly made me fall out of my armor. First of all, I have sworn a vow of chastity, so if I ever did desire to marry, I would have to leave the paladinhood and everything I have ever worked for in my life. Second, Lucius is not at a place in his life where he would make a good husband, to anyone. Third... I simply don't think he thinks of me in that way. Certainly I have deep feelings for him, but we have never shared anything.. tender. I think we are destined to be brother and sister, rather than husband and wife. The truth be told, whenever I have allowed myself to daydream about being married, it has always been to some valiant paladin or warrior... someone like Talion. Funny, I only traveled with him twice, but I still miss his presence. Every time I don his beautiful white armor, I think of him, and what a blow to goodness his loss was. I strive to deserve his handiwork.
Speaking of my armor, I have obtained a commander's helm from the Academy, and dyed it to match the rest - I must admit, it cuts quite the figure. I have also purchased a set of Midoran's Faith (something I won't wear until my promotion to Errant Captain, which I hope shall not be too far in the distant future) and a fine broadsword that I have had much success with so far. Praise to Midoran, I am slowly becoming the able and faithful servant I have always wanted to be.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori,
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 29 Jan 2006 03:48 AM |
*Excerpts from the lecture "Your Own Midor", Instructor Elmore Glimdeege, Midor Academy; day one of the class "Fundamentals of Errantry"*
"...you shall doubtless encounter companions in your travels. Most of these folks will be true friends, honorable brothers- or sisters-in-arms, people you risk your life with every day and form a strong bond with. But the sad fact is that most of the people you encounter in the world will not be among the Faithful, and there will come a time with each and every one of them when your faith becomes an obstacle to your companionship. When you make the only possible choice - your god, your country and your people - you will be surprised how quickly your former friends become your enemies. This is why a knight errant must be self-reliant at all times. Certainly, use what resources you have at your disposal - people, arms, money - but be prepared for the day when all you have between you and your enemies is your faith in the mighty Midoran..."
"...remember that the heart is weak. The heart is fallible. The heart is fickle. The knight errant must follow something more strong, true and constant than the heart: faith in your god. There shall be times when the right thing to do is not easy, or convenient, or rational. These are the times when the knight errant must persevere, since you shall almost certainly not have a chaplain handy to consult with, nor a church in which to seek sanctuary, nor a beautiful white city in which to calm your soul and allow Midoran's will to flow freely.. you shall be in the wilderness, surrounded by the heathen. You were all chosen because you showed tremendous potential in the pillars of the faith - but you were also chosen because you are all mentally and spiritually resolute. To a certain extent, you must all become your own Midor, your own bastion of strength and faith that shall remain constant and true in the debauched world you shall soon find yourself immersed in..."
"...the strong shall succeed. The wise shall succeed. You SHALL succeed. Failure is for the weak and the craven, and the Academy does not admit such rabble." |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 29 Jan 2006 07:06 PM |
| ((Phenomenal writing...just phenomenal, and the RP around which it is based was just great as well)) |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 30 Jan 2006 01:18 AM |
I don't know what has come over me... something quite unexpected has grown within me without my knowing, and now it feels as though it has ripped me asunder from the inside.
Yesterday I traveled to Icy Vale. On the way I saw Macha and Fri'el speaking in elven on the Great Plain - Macha looked at me and they continued to whisper. They looked like two vultures hovering over an animal they expected to be killed.
Upon my arrival, I headed for the inn for some warmth and a moment to relax, when in comes Fri'el and Macha, and approach me for a bit of conversation. I had known that Macha was involved with all sorts of bad elements, but even I was a bit surprised when I saw her so friendly with a lunatic like Fri'el. Our conversation was about to take a turn for the awkward when Garick burst in and told us that Dorian had fallen, and Lucius was behind guarding his body. When I heard that Lucius was in trouble, I donned my armor as quickly as I could and headed for Hardknott Pass... I didn't think about it at the time, but I did react rather quickly, and without thought to the difficulties of traveling with one such as Fri'el. I wish now that I had stayed behind and never left the comfort of the inn.
When we entered the mine, Fri'el laughed and animated the body of a fallen orc, and had it follow her around like a pet... no one said anything. I knew Fri'el was powerful, but I knew I could not witness such a display of wanton evil without a response. I drew my sword and sent the creature back to the realm of the dead. Without warning, Fri'el bewitched me with a hex and hit me over the back of the head, knocking me senseless. The next thing I knew Garick was reviving me, and everyone else was standing around, watching. I was so enraged.. at Fri'el, for hitting me in the back like that, at myself, for being too weak to be able to stand up to such a criminal, and at Lucius, for associating with this honorless rabble and not defending me, even with words. I felt like such a fool.. I took my leave of them and proceeded to make my own way out of the caverns.
I met them as I emerged, and Lucius demanded that we speak. He and Garick proceeded to hound me about Midor, about the problems and excesses of the current regime... after rushing to the defense of a friend only to be hit in the back by someone, I was in something of a fragile state.. I broke down. I have been trying so hard for so long to show people the goodness of Midoran, the positive aspects of His worship and those who follow him, and I felt like it was all for naught, if even those I had thought were my friends couldn't even see it. I felt betrayed, misunderstood... even now, the memory brings a tear to my eye, though I shall never give them the satisfaction of seeing me weep ever again.
I left and went... I know not where. I killed everything that looked at me sideways, my fury fueled by my humiliation. I thought of nothing, I felt nothing.
I awoke in a tent inhabited by ettins, the former occupants in pieces around me. The truth came unbidden to my mind, as if it had been thinking by itself while I engaged in my killing spree. I knew the awful truth, why Macha's attentions towards Lucius have irked me so, why I mistrust her so, why I am so miserable now that it is clear I have lost the battle for his soul.
I am in love with him.
It all seems so ridiculous - he is so much older than me, and not what I usually consider attractive. He is unsure of himself, faithless, and easily misled. I keep reminding myself of his flaws, as if that would somehow make my heart come to a realization. Unfortunately, I know that he is always the person I wish to share things with, he is who I envision when I wish company, he is the person who most occupies my thoughts and fears. I know that we could never be together in that way, but at least.. at least he could be with someone who would love him for who he is, someone who would love him.... as I would.
Mistake me not, I still believe that Macha is dangerous. I know not what her grand design is, but I know she cannot have the same sorts of feelings for Lucius that he has for her. Lucius has nothing in common with her, and there is nothing about him which would appeal to someone like her. I am certain that he is merely a pawn in her (or her father's) plans, but the poor fool isn't aware enough to see it.
And so I have failed him. Perhaps I could have made him see the truth, if I were wise enough, or strong enough... or fair enough. How can I possibly serve Midoran effectively if I cannot even save my closest friends from danger? None of them understand how hard it is, to be constantly measured and judged against a perfect code. You can never be good enough, no matter how hard you try, so you take heart in the successes along the way, in the people you serve and the deeds you accomplish and you say, "there, my life means something." Now, I feel my life has been for naught. I have lost him, I have lost myself, and all is for naught.
I wish to turn off this fickle, weak heart and never feel again. Midoran grant me the will to defeat all this blasted emotion and perform His will faithfully and effectively - would that I had never heard the name of Lucius Edmonds!
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori,
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 30 Jan 2006 07:00 AM |
| ((*Puts a mark up on the board under Radra's name* Score!)) |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 06 Feb 2006 12:20 PM |
The days have assumed a sterile quality that I find disturbing. I have been around Lucius quite a bit - even around Lucius and Macha. Together. Somehow, it feels so.. far away. I don't know quite how to explain it - perhaps I have cut something off to protect myself.
Somehow this has coincided with a dramatic increase in my martial prowess. Where once enemies seemed invincible, now they fall with ease against my blade. Where once their blows seemed deadly, now they are turned aside by my armor and shield. The other day I entered a cavern complex and slaughtered an entire tribe of lizardfolk - granted, they had been raiding the livestock of Buckshire and needed to be dealt with, but somehow the carnage that I visited upon them rattled me... there must have been fifty of them, some casting spells at me, some shapechanging and hurling blows at me... I left none alive. It seems somehow wrong that as I grow in Midoran's favor, it should be at the expense of such destruction. Lately I have felt myself feeling a sort of rage against my foes, something that I have never felt before. It almost feels like.. I have this hole inside me, and I am seeking to fill it with the blood of foes. Can that be?
Tomorrow I set out for Midor with Cedrych to answer the White Bishop's summons. I know not what to expect. On the one hand, I hope that some of my accomplishments have been noticed by my superiors, and I might be recognized for them. Part of me is terrified that we might be expected to don the red and become Righteous Swords - something I don't believe I could ever do. I shudder to think what the consequences might be for disobeying the order of Vidus Khain.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori,
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 06 Feb 2006 01:12 PM |
The White Bishop Vidus Khain leveled his gaze on Brother Riley. His assistant had been exceptional competent the past several weeks, a fact that had no escaped Vidus’s notice. “Sir Cedrych von Maistlin and Lady Ulalume A'Midori are scheduled for personal audiences this evening, your Grace. Here are dossiars on the two.” Vidus examined the tablet handed to him by Riley. Cedrych and Ulalume, one had an unreported encounter with Lorian, the other has been seen around the heretic Macha Sparrowsong.
Vidus looked up from the tablet, his expression cold. Tonight, Brother Riely knew, would be an interesting night.
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Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
-Henry David Thoreau
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 08 Feb 2006 04:58 AM |
It has taken me a couple of days to find my balance and write again, for the world has shifted beneath my feet more than it ever has, moreso even than it did on the day my father died.
I had an audience with the White Bishop Vidus Khain, in which he announced to Cedrych and myself that he was disbanding the Paladins and "moving into the future". He told us to choose whether we were to "remain in the past" or head into the future with him. Basically we were asked to become Righteous Swords, to swear allegiance to Vidus personally and wear the red of his new Midoran order.
Something in what he said stuck in my ear: "I brought Midoran back to this city." Certainly, no faithful follower of Midoran could ever be that prideful! How could one mortal man "bring" Midoran anywhere? I reminded the Bishop that it was Midoran's Will that brought Him back to the city, that we were all merely instruments of that will... needless to say, he didn't react well. Rather than admit his egoism, he entrenched himself in his ridiculous statements, telling me that to swear loyalty to him was the same as swearing loyalty to Midoran! This was blasphemy, plain and simple, and I told him so. I don't know what I was thinking... perhaps that no one had dared stand up to him until this point, and if he but heard the truth, Midoran might clear his ears and force him to recognize his error.
I was wrong. He threatened me with burning if I did not recant my words... I told him that I respected his office, and apologized if I had insulted him personally. I then told him that I was then and would always be a faithful servant of Midoran, and would never wear his red. I thought for sure he would order my execution, but I knew that it was better to die in my Lord's good graces than to live a life of shame, knowing that I had compromised when it really mattered. Few are given the chance to really put their beliefs to the test, and I was actually joyful inside that I was so honored.
Instead he chose to banish me. He told me that I was no daughter of Midoran, that I was exiled from Midor and stripped of my rank. At first, his words hit me hard... I felt like I was drowning, and I reached out for the comforting touch of Midoran upon my heart, wondering if, for the first time in my life, it would not be there - to my relief, it was! I knew in my heart that I was in the right, that this... man was not the instrument he claimed to be. I told him that my Lord would strike him down for his blasphemy... and I mean to see that prophecy fulfilled.
It has become clear to me since that day that my life must have one purpose from this moment henceforth: to purge the city of Midor of this false Bishop and restore the rightful worship of Midoran. I knew there was an obvious source of help, but it gave me serious pause: I shall never join the Aristi. I have heard their godless oath, and it is not mine. I have not, nor shall I ever abandon the worship of the rightful ruler of the cosmos, the Mighty and Just Midoran. I know this is the right thing to do, as He still comforts me, still heals through my touch, still rebukes the forces of evil when I invoke His name, still infuses my body with strength when I am weak. Somehow, Vidus has managed to twist the sense of the loyal followers of Midoran, to cause them to hear His voice falsely. In my heart, I believe this is a test of faith, Midoran sorting out who among His flock is truly faithful and who is willing to swear allegiance to a mere man to save their own skin. In these dark times, I am overwhelmed by the responsibility of being the lightbearer of His word, but deeply honored and determined not to fail.
My first action was to pen a note to Salt Sower, whose dossier I had read in Midor and who I know is friendly with the rebels. As much as it might injure my pride, I must seek out whatever aid is available to me to overthrow this wicked regime. When I met with Salt, he told me that there was no resistance to Midor, either within or without... I find that hard to believe, but it does make a sort of sense: the Aristi obviously care little for the worship of Midoran, so why would they wish to cleanse His city? Those living in Midor are either too afraid or too blind to do anything... if I must do this alone, then I shall.
I have decided to attend the Queen's Ball and make a request of her to establish a shrine to Midoran in her city, where those still faithful to His word and dedicated to the overthrow of the usurper Vidus Khain may band together for support. I shall never join the Aristi - but perhaps I can pave a new road, instead.
As for Cedrych, he would naturally be my first and most important ally, but he was given time to make his decision by the Bishop. I spoke with him afterwards, and he seemed truly troubled. I pray that Midoran grants him the wisdom to see the truth, but I must also prepare for the possibility that he shall don the red and oppose me. If he does, it shall break my heart - but nations are not liberated by the meek.
It all seems so small and inconsequential now, but Lucius and Macha seem... happy. Funny, but after staring into the face of Vidus Khain and seeing nothing but madness and ambition, I realize that I may have been hasty to judge Macha. Certainly she is no angel, but she does seem to genuninely love Lucius.. and he her. I know that I wrote earlier that all I wanted for Lucius was someone to care properly for him, but I realize now that I might have been giving myself more credit than I deserve. When they approached me in Port Royale after my exile, the way they looked into each other's eyes, the way he was constantly checking on her to make sure she was all right, the way their hands found each other regularly for a reassuring touch... each was like a dagger in my heart. It hurt more than being banished from Midor, for while I have faith that I shall one day return in glory to strike down the serpent Vidus Khain, I know in my heart that Lucius and I shall never be.
((teardrops appear copiously upon the page, smudging the above writing in places))
These tears are my own - I shall never allow myself to show this weakness to anyone. I almost told Telli of my feelings for Lucius, but thought better of it - she has little in the way of social discretion, and I would hate to put her in the position of having to keep a secret. I thought for a time of confiding in Radra, but finally decided the safest thing to do is to lock this away and never allow anyone to know. I have too great a task before me to allow myself to be distracted by these schoolgirl failings. These shall be the last tears I shed in this matter - from hence forth I shall be a steel sword of vengeance. I must, for the good of Midor. I must not fail.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 09 Feb 2006 01:51 AM |
I went to the Seven Sisters to offer a donation to the Paws relief effort, and happened upon a scene - Kusin was there, inquiring about the fate of his brother. None seemed to know for sure, so I offered the sad news that yes, I had indeed seen his body when we were cleaning up the clearing that evening.
Afterwards I saw Mina speaking with a man who looked vaguely familiar.. he too was arranging donations, but was terribly secretive about things... it was all very suspicious. I asked Mina directly, but she said it was better that I not know. I looked closer at the man, and realized what I had recognized him from: he had attended the Academy! He had locked himself inside a broom closet overnight, and called fro help through the keyhole as cadets passed by in the hall - thus earning him the nickname Keyhole Clark. Richard Clark! He had joined the rebellion before the Battle of the Great Plains, and here he was, arranging clandestine donations for the Aristi with the Seven Sisters, so Midor might not know their source and refuse them.
We had a discussion.... from it, I gather that Salt is either not nearly so well connected as I thought him to be, or was at least partially untruthful. It sounds to me like the Aristi have a full-scale military operation brewing, and are doing everything they can to conceal it from Midor. I told him to pass along that I would be willing to help in any fight against Vidus and the Red Swords, and I pray that it finds friendly ears.
He also said that Lillian Blackstone is not what I thought she was - he claims she still holds Midoran in her heart. I know not if he is telling the truth, but my interest is definitely piqued. I should like to have a conversation with her at some point.
I have been feeling a certain amount of... shame walking the streets of Port. I know that I should be proud of my actions, but for some reason, I have been avoiding meeting those I know. Lucius and Macha were speaking in the market yesterday, and I hid behind the stall like a squire late for duty.
I have not heard yet from Cedrych.
In Midoran's Name,
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of Midoran |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 10 Feb 2006 02:54 AM |
I am not quite sure how to put this down on paper...
Midoran appeared to me in a dream. He cast His eyes upon me and found me wanting. He cast me out of His holy order of paladins and rescinded His blessing from me.
I now have nothing.
I have seriously considered taking my own life, but have decided that would be far too easy a road for one as wretched as me. I shall live out my days here, among the Seven Sisters, preparing potions and bandages and trying to make sense of this world. I have dedicated my life to the service of Midoran, have defended Him as best I know how, even unto the pain of death, and He has forsaken me. I cannot begin to express how utterly alone and empty I feel - the worst part is, I cannot imagine ever feeling normal again. |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 15 Feb 2006 12:12 PM |
I have been taking things one day at a time.. and as improbably as it may have seemed a week ago, I think that I might be able to get through this, eventually.
I have been making bandages and potions for the relief effort at Paws, which I have come to discover is being coordinated by the Aristi. When I delivered some supplies to the Mirghul lodge, as directed, I found Lillian Blackstone there... she seemed waiting for me, somehow. She and I spoke at length, and I was shocked to find how much we had in common. She too feels no attachment for the Aristi way, and considers herself a Midoran... a true Midoran, not the bubbling cauldron of fools and ignorants the place we knew has become. She too feels there was something else behind Midoran, something we knew of instinctively but could not imagine whilst we were in Midoran's worship. It puzzles me that such a person should be at the very apex of the Aristi leadership - I suppose it goes to prove how much in disarray they are.
Their lack of action disturbs me. I know that they must be careful, they are a new organization, etc. but I know Byron Lorian to be a powerful warrior, and they have others within their ranks who are seasoned paladins - they could be out in the world helping others, rather than holed up in their aerie, worried about keeping their own skin safe.
I have been spending my days practising my crafts, and have seen some marked improvements. I am thinking of taking a trip to Icy Vale, to explore some mining opportunities I remember there.
Lucius and I are... a mess. Every time I try to make nice with Macha, something seems to get in the way. They other day she told me that she had.. killed Lucius, that I had been correct in my initial assessment of her motives.. but of course, she insists she's different now. When I confronted Lucius about this, he seemed to think that I was the one being ridiculous. When I think about all that I was going through, how much that one little boost of confidence would have done me.. Macha scoffed and claimed that Lucius had deprived me of being "self-righteous." Maybe so, but at least I know now that I should have more faith in my own judgement.
Since he has been around Macha, I sense Lucius has moved away from many of the qualities I found pleasing in him before. He seems less concerned with doing the right thing, more self-absorbed than ever, and completely impossible to talk to. I have honestly tried and tried to offer olive branches to him, but I fear that he might be too far gone at this point.
He did, however, inform me that Cedrych now wears the red. It gives me great pain to know that someday I might have to face him over a sword, but he has made his decision, and now he must face the consequences. I only hope that Vidus' madness does not consume Cedrych before it is finally extinguished.
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 28 Feb 2006 08:28 AM |
Just when I thought there could be no lower depths of Vidus Khain's depravity, he and Midoran have worked together to reach a new mark. I had thought the immolation of the remaining paladins had broken my heart, but that was before I heard Karson and Pope speaking in the Four Winds of a terrible event... the destruction of the Academy and the very Isle upon which it stood.
It is still hard for me to believe that it isn't there - I have been prevented from returning for so long, it seems like if I board the ferry at the Midor docks, the familiar ivied walls shall greet me over the spray of the sea, the smell of salt in the air mingled with incense and freshly mown grass (that cocktail of smells unique to the Academy), the sight of a thousand devoted souls, all going about the business of learning and refining the faith that would protect and guide them throughout their careers as holy servants to Midoran.
How cruel it was that the very deity to whom they dedicated their lives would do something like this! I think of all the younger initiates and cadets I have known throughout my tenure, hoping beyond hope that each had somehow been off the island at a time when there was no reason to be... a sick relative, perhaps, or some sort of joyous function like a wedding that would demand their presence elsewhere, anything to get them off the doomed island before Midoran's searing hand extended from the sky and reduced it all to a churning mass of death. There is one person, however, I know would not have been away, for she had no family, no honored surname to open social doors for her as some of us did when we arrived on the Island. She was simply Renee, and she was assigned to me when she had arrived from the mainland as a Little Sister. It was customary for Fifth Year cadets and initiates to adopt an incoming First Year, to give them proper perspective on how far they had come in their training since arriving themselves. I think they assigned Renee to me because we seemed to be polar opposites: I had always been bright but not brilliant, popular with my classmates and instructors, and came from a respected family; Renee was a homely orphan with one leg longer than the other from a childhood marrow infection that gave her a pronounced limp. She was shy around others, but her meekness disguised a brilliant mind who had memorized most sacred texts before she even arrived at the Academy. She was well beyond her classmates, which only served to further isolate her from them.
Perhaps I could have been a better Big Sister - I had just been elected squad leader and we were preparing for the annual Greased Pole competition, where squads from the three Orders competed to get to the top of a thirty foot pole as fast as possible. It was quite prestigious to win, although in hindsight it seemed like such a stupid, petty little thing to have kept me from knowing someone like Renee better. We had the required meetings, even had a couple of good talks; I introduced her to a few of her classmates who were younger siblings of my friends. However when my uncle joined the Aristi and fought against Midor at the Battle of the Plains, it was thought that someone of my sullied background should not be acting in any official capacity as a role model, and Renee was paired with someone else. Funny - for the remainder of my time there, she was far more popular than me, having been the youngest contestant ever to win the Verse Trivia competition, while I was the spawn of a disgraced house. We said hello in the halls, but I had always felt that I had missed a chance to know someone special, who would go on to great things someday.
Being such a dedicated student, and having no family of her own, there is no way she would have been off the Island - she even remained behind during official breaks and worked as a laborer for the Academy. No, I am certain she perished along with the other five hundred souls that terrible morning. She was murdered by the god she strove her whole brief life to serve.
I shall do everything I can in the coming months and years to insure that the Order of Midoran is not forgotten, nor shall its ideals and customs pass into history. I know not what form it shall take, but I shall help to forge a new Order, one whose first order of business shall be vengeance upon Vidus Khain and Midoran for their treachery.
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 21 Mar 2006 01:12 PM |
My Dear Cedrych,
I was pleased to receive your letter - you are correct, it has been entirely too long since we were able to simply enjoy one another's company, and I miss conversing with one of my blood in matters of import.
I am glad to have run into you yesterday as I did. I am sorry if things seemed a little awkward, but I have embarked upon a new endeavor. You asked me if I had learned anything in the desert? The vision that came to me as I meditated in the sun was that of Hestor, Blessed Lady of Matrimony. Are you familiar with her story? Long ago, a vicious tribe of orcs marauded the early Midor, and the military was unable to halt their progress. They threatened to lay waste to the entire city, but as the leaders parlayed the eye of the Orc chieftain was caught by the lovely daughter of the general, Hestor. He demanded her in payment for leaving Midor in peace. Of course, negotiations were broken off immediately and the Midorans returned to their walled city. However, on the return ride Hestor realized that one person's fate was nothing in comparison to a whole city, and at the last moment she broke free of the ranks and rode toward the orcs. Her father, moved by her sacrifice but determined that no daughter of his flesh would be sullied by orcish hands, ordered his archers to fire on her before she reached the lines. But the missiles were turned away; she survived unscathed and convinced the orc chieftain to leave her city alone. Eventually she returned to Midor with her sons after her husband's death, and was one of the founders of Paws.
I realized that the most important aspect of our purpose in this life as paladins must be as an example to others, making difficult decisions and doing the right thing, even when no one else recognizes it as such. I believe there is a very public way of accomplishing this, and also a private one.
What I confess to you is a matter of some privacy, and I trust that you shall respect it as such: I have had feelings for Lucius for some time, but refrained from mentioning them to anyone, lest they further complicate our lives. I figured there was no way I could act upon them, and he was always tangled up with some lass or another... but I never stopped loving him, and it pained me so to see him cast adrift upon a sea of doubt, lead further and further down the wrong path, and getting more and more self-destructive.
As I meditated in the desert on my vision of Hestor, it was clear to me what I should do: although I have sworn a vow that there would be none in my heart before Midoran, since he has forsaken me, I suppose there is little harm in forsaking him for someone who might actually return my affections, and however much I might have to compromise my word, any chance I have of leading Lucius back to the proper path makes it worth it. As much as I feared that Macha might lead him astray, it must be possible for him to be lead the correct way by the right person. Of course, my feelings are not borne from altruism alone - I genuinely care for Lucius; I have just come to realize that there might be a chance that such a... situation might lead to something other than ruin.
I shall continue to conduct myself as a lady, and I trust that you shall respect my honor and keep this information to yourself.
As far as the speeches we have heard, I have much the same reservations as you. I fear that things are so general and accepting at the moment in a reaction to the harshness and exclusion of Midor, but by accepting everyone and everything, we dilute what we are down to meaninglessness. It is not enough to merely state that we stand for "goodness" - there are many people who make that claim with whom I would not want to be associated. I suppose there will be further delineation as time passes. It also concerns me that Lillian has assumed the mantle of leadership herself, as many see her has cold and unapproachable. Personally I have found her counsel invaluable and her mind keen, but I fear that she does not have the personal charisma to hold a movement together. I pray that I am wrong.
I have been feeling more and more comfortable in the world... when I was first exiled I felt as if everyone on the street were looking at me, shaking their heads in disapproval. I felt like a fool. I felt weak and powerless. Now, I have learned that I am more than whatever powers some divinity chooses with which to bless me. I have raised fifty thousand gold for the new orphanage in Port Royale with my sword. I have counseled friends, relieved suffering, and saved the lives of my companions with my head and heart. I have made precious things with my own hands. I know that whatever is out there, I shall be an able and worthy servant, when it chooses to make itself known to me.
I thank you for your kind words. However, I don't think that you give yourself enough credit. There are many men who would still be in the tavern, drinking themselves into oblivion, not caring what happened in the world around them. I thank whatever God is listening that you have been there for me to talk with over these past months; your wisdom and words have given me inspiration when I needed it most.
I look forward to your company in exploring this new frontier of faith in which we find ourselves. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and I shall do the same for you.
-Ulalume |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 17 May 2006 08:35 AM |
It has been a long time since I have written in this tome, mostly because every time I find myself ready to do so, what I must write of burns a hole in my heart. So much has happened, so much has changed... but now, wrapped in the warm halls of Villa Candela, I think I can finally put this down on paper and move on.
I initiated an ill-advised romance with Lucius. I saw him in the desert - the desolation around us was as nothing compared with the look on his face. He looked like he was at the very end of his rope, and had given up on life. He claimed to be headed to a valley where dead men walked, to search for his brother. I had no options left - I kissed him.
I did this for altruistic reasons, it's true - I did wish to lead Lucius down a more righteous path, and it was apparent to me that the way to lead Lucius was through his loins. But I did it for me, too - I loved him, and continue to love him to this day. I love him, even though doing so makes me want to jump from the Pelican Cliffs.
I told him of my family, of what I had lost. He held me tenderly and I felt so warm.. but then, when I awoke, he was gone. I had a panicked feeling - I knew he could take care of himself, but not having him there just struck such a chord, especially after the conversation we had. I started to question whether I could ever really be attached to someone like this - not because I am a paladin; I rather think that I adopted that lifestyle because it suited me in this respect, not the other way around - but because, deep down, I am afraid of losing someone, of having them forsake me, as my mother did. As my father did. As my uncle did. As... my god did.
And so, I avoided him. I visited Asashi, I explored the Buckshire ruins. I spent night after night meditating, praying for some kind of sign from above, some sort of beginning of a connection that I could depend on again, something that would give me strength. I found it after much searching, but it was not what I expected. What happened was more of a revelation: rather than waiting around for some higher power to reveal itself to me, I should have been accepting its existence without needing to see anything. That is the true cornerstone of faith, and a truly powerful god would not have to reveal itself - it would just be.
I felt refreshed and filled with hope. I knew that I could move on now, and that I could share this wonderful feeling with Lucius. He would be the first.
When I arrived at Port Royale, I noticed the stares and whispers behind my back. I walked into the Broken Mask and felt like everyone in the place was staring at me. It was Esteban the Eel, of all people, who told me - he waved me over as I walked through the common room, a glint in his eye. He told me that a lady so beautiful should not be treated so poorly by a man. When I demanded to know what he meant, he smugly told me that the whole inn was whispering about how Lucius was spending nights in the arms of Dana the Blood Wizard, under the very same roof as my room where I had confessed my love to him not a month before.
I tried my best to retain my composure, but I do not remember walking out of the inn... I do not remember passing Aramani's or turning down Scar Alley, but when I came to my senses I was doubled over outside a filthy restaurant, my hands balled in fists hiding my face, bawling like a child.
I should have known he would do this, but somehow it didn't matter - after what we had shared, after the love I had given to him, for him to throw it away in so casual a manner and shack up with exactly the kind of person I had been trying to keep him away from, a "woman" who calls me "tin bitch" and snickers at the thought of my grisly death when I have done nothing to her... it took me from the heights of joy to the depths of despair in an instant. And so I faced this betrayal and desertion as I have every other one in my life: alone.
I am glad that I heard before I saw him, so I could prepare myself. I flexed and relaxed my muscles; I used the mental exercises they had taught us at the Academy to help us maintain concentration on our spells, even when wounded by a foe. I regained control over myself after a time in the alley, and returned to the world. I knew where he would be, and if I truly loved him, I needed to allow him to go without hurting him. If I truly wished to be an influence in his life, I needed to leave our friendship intact. I had to summon up every ounce of savoire-faire I had and pretend that his betrayal meant nothing.
And so I did. I watched him squirm a bit, and then I let him go. I doubt that I shall ever allow another to get so close, and have instead thrown myself into gaining a deeper understanding of this faith that Jerec and Lillian have led me to, this faith which seems so new and so... oddly familiar at the same time. I have much more to write about, but for now I must rest.
-Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 07 Jul 2006 02:55 PM |
Much has happened since I wrote last... and as much as I hate to admit it, much of what goes on in my heart and my head still revolves around Lucius.
I am genuinely happy for him - he seems to have found something with Dana that he needed. As odious as I find her company, she protects him, stands up for him, and seems to love him. He is happier than I have ever seen him... with one caveat. Fate is sometimes cruel; in this instance it has proven so ten times over. Whenever Lucius and I are together, he always seems uptight, preoccupied, and irritable. I can only guess it is due to Dana's naked hatred of me. While she does not demand that Lucius not speak to me anymore, when I am around she glares at me, spits, and makes comments about my honor. It has been a true test of my patience not to challenge her to a duel over her remarks, as my station demands, but the Coruscanti faith seems centered more on compassion and leaving a small impression, on humility. I have accepted this difference, I believe it falls more in line with my own beliefs, but it is hard to let go of something you've been brought up with your whole life. Had someone insulted a paladin of Midoran as Dana does me, I would have expected that paladin to smite the offender without a single thought. I suppose, though, that is the lesser path, in the end.
Apparently Cedrych and Rosen have found love in one another, and while I believe this is a good thing for them and for our young faith, it still causes me pain to think about them together, knowing that I shall never have what they have. Last night I was talking with a young man named Allan at the campsite on the Great Plains, when Karli showed up. It was clear from their body language that they were fond of one another, and it was lovely to see... until Dana and Lucius showed up. Then every loving glance, every squeeze of the hand was like a dagger in my heart, until at last I could not stand it anymore and simply fled without saying a farewell. I'm sure it appeared rude to everyone, but I shall have to make it up to them, somehow.
First Jerec was killed, and now Lillian has left us... they were right, self-reliance is important to this Order, if for no other reason than the leadership seems to serve little purpose. We have tried our best to make our way in the world, to right what wrongs we come across, but it has been a difficult road, indeed. I find myself envying the Aristi and their strongly organized leadership.
I have tried my best to maintain my training and to keep my technique sharp, and have had some success. I must admit, it has been hard for me to focus, and I believe it is because of the situation with Dana. I understand why she hates me - I am not only a Midoran, but she probably sees me as a rival for Lucius' affection. I doubt that she has the mental capacity to understand that I don't want to take Lucius from her... it is just so frustrating to spend all of one's time striving to do the right thing, placing oneself in danger for the sake of others, battling the foes of the innocent.. only to be treated like scum on a pond by one such as Dana, and have no one think anything of it.
I shall have to ponder how to rememdy the situation, but I fear there is little I can do that I have not done already.
Supralux Cognosce Ilan
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of the Coruscanti |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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Re: Days and Deeds
Posted: 12 Jul 2006 08:30 AM |
I shall write no more of Mister Edmonds, save to note that whatever friendship we have had in the past seems to have no meaning to him. So be it - he is clearly unworthy of any feeings of comeraderie from me.
Now that I need not worry about stepping on anyone's feelings, I shall have to keep a closer eye on Dana and her activities - I suspect there is much that she keeps from her public image.
I spoke with Cedrych briefly about my concerns for our Order, most notably in its replication. We must find and train new knights if we are to survive, and I believe one such candidate might be Sir Alan Longblade, the beloved of Karlina Goodfellow. I have seen evidence of his valor in combat, and anyone who spends that much time around Karli must have a wealth of patience and fortitude. I know that he is not Midoran, and I'm not sure if he was even properly knighted, but I am resolved to speak to him - hopefully informally at first, so as not to step on the toes of Byron and our Aristi comerades.
Rosen remains in a state of unconsciousness, and I can tell it weighs heavily on Cedrych. I wish there was something I could do to ease his suffering. I shall pray for his well-being, and try to keep my own dramas to a minimum around him - he witnessed the tail end of an unfortunate discussion today, which left me in a less than desirable emotional state. It must get tiresome to see such displays, and I have resolved myself to try to be more resilient in my dealings. Already I have denied myself almost every earthly comfort - my time meditating in the Kobai has conditioned me to survive on about one fifth the amount of food I used to intake, and I never drink anything besides water anymore. The hair shirt I fashioned for myself has been well enough, but I think I might need something a bit stronger. I can recall reading something about a movement around the time of the first Patricians who used to practice corporeal mortification - perhaps I shall take a trip to Asashi and research the matter further. What did we learn from Jerec? "The divine seeking the mortal; the mortal seeking the divine." Obviously my divine self has succeeded in seeking the flesh, now I must assist my poor weak flesh to transcend itself and find the divine. I'm not sure that this path is necessary for everyone seeking to walk with the unknowable, but it seems to be for me, as I am particularly weak and unworthy. I shall ruthlessly purge myself of this weakness and emerge a being of pure light.
Supralux cognosce ilan!
Ulalume A'Midori
Knight Errant of the Coruscanti |
"You know, a gong. Large, flat object that you hit when you want things. Sort of like a waiter, but less portable."
-Radra |
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