|
A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 11:29 AM |
The following note is left in Vidus’ office:
Lord Vidus:
As my attempts at getting a meeting with you have been in vain, I am forced to turn to a letter. My name is Bohnito Nerfagph Jhenakrh Treventy The Twenty Second and I come before you today to enlighten you on a, how should I put this, a most brilliant idea!
It is no secret that your people of Midor and elves do not get along, so I have devised a solution to that problem. The solution is really quite simple but it is also quite advanced, but I am of course sure that one of your brilliance can, without a doubt, comprehend the shear brilliance of such an idea.
My brilliant idea – and it was my idea, if someone else came before you with this idea it was because they have stolen my brilliance – is for a leadership exchange. Brilliance you say!? Of course it is! The exchange will be between Ferein and Midor. You will lead Ferein to greatness and the leader of the Elves shall take over Midor. Brilliance!
After a few months, you shall all come to understand each other and any outstanding issue shall be solved! Brilliance!
Allow me to present the follow proof:
Let Midor = M
Let Ferein = F
Let Vidus = V
Let the Ferein leader = L
Time = t
Good relations = G
Gnomish Constant of Brilliance = 1.5622366327783635578457844677938376896078736358960787362648650608766383902876; also know as B
Currently:
M + F != G
In order for (M + F = G) we must apply a time variable.
Therefore: (M + F)*t = G
Also, in order for (M + F = G) we must then add in the variables of the leaders which is directly proportional to the status of M + F
Therefore: (M + F) * (V + L) *t = G
As all gnomes know, humans and elves have things we call human rate of irrationalness and elven rate of stuckupness, which are I and S.
Therefore, we must integrate the equation from: V = 0 to V = I and L = 0 to L = S.
Therefore we have:
f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S)[(M + F) * (V + L) *t] dL dI = f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S) G dL dI
Solving the result will give:
f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S)[(MV +ML + FV + FL) *t] dL dI = f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S) G dL dI
f(V=0; V=I) [(0.5 * ML^2 + 0.5 * FL^2 + MVL + FVL) * t](0|S) dI = f(V=0; V=I) GL (0|S) dI
f(V=0; V=I) [(0.5 * MS^2 + 0.5 * FS^2 + MVS + FVS) * t] dI = f(V=0; V=I) GS dI
[(0.5 * MVS^2 + 0.5 * FVS^2 + 0.5 * MSV^2 + 0.5 * FSV^2) * t] (0|I) = GSV (0|I)
[MIS^2 + FIS^2 + MIV^2 + FSI^2 ] * t = 2 * GSI
Now, we must apply the formulas to relate Midor and Ferein:
Obviously:
M = B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] and F = B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]
So, therefore:
[B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IV^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]SI^2 ] * t = 2 * GSI
Now solving for G / t =
G / t = {[B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IV^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]SI^2 ] } / (2SI)
If we let t approach zero we get:
lim (T --> 0)
G / 0 = {[B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]IS^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * I) ] IV^2 + B^[3 * sqrt (B * S) ]SI^2 ] } / (2SI)
Therefore, G must equal infinity! Brilliance! Brilliance! Thank you! Thank you!
By using this idea you shall have good relations in no time at all!
If you wish to leave a monetary reward for my shear brilliance then please leave word with Winky in Brandibuck.
Thank you,
[Signed Bohnito Nerfagph Jhenakrh Treventy The Twenty Third] |
|
|
  |
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:10 PM |
(( sorry TD but equation is not acurate I just checked it... first mistake is here
f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S)[(MV +ML + FV + FL) *t] dL dI = f(V=0; V=I) f(L=0; L=S) G dL dI
f(V=0; V=I) [(0.5 * ML^2 + 0.5 * FL^2 + MVL + FVL) * t](0|S) dI = f(V=0; V=I) GL (0|S) dI
Can you spot the mistake ?
BTW GREAT post loved it and it was a good laugh)) |
Why search around when the answer is within you...?
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:16 PM |
| ((Shucks, I guess the solution is flawed. What did I screw up? It's been too long since my last math course.)) |
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:25 PM |
((Of course it's flawed, since when would a gnome understand an elf?
EDIT by TD: OOC Tags!!
And, elves follow a simple formula of course.))
|
Elvalia - Chosen of Aros
Elrith Mellin
Perin - 'Cleric (an' drewid) o' Elbreff' Weddin's an' pies a speciarality
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:27 PM |
| ((lol - I really enjoyed meeting Bohnito last night - a real "character" indeed! As for the math, it gave me a bad flashback to college...so I wonder what it will do to Vidus?)) |
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:28 PM |
((Shucks, I guess the solution is flawed. What did I screw up? It's been too long since my last math course.))
(( TD you still have the touch though damm theres alot of logic and math laws aplied in there )) |
Why search around when the answer is within you...?
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:40 PM |
(( :o
Wow.
*Applauds*)) |
AKA Adept
Ben Bright: portrait, description (02/17/07) |
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 12:59 PM |
"It....says....what?" Vidus spat the last word out like a bad piece of meat.
"It is math, Your Grace," repeated Brother Riley. He looked again at the calculations. They may as well have been chicken scratches for all he understood. "It is an offer of peace. I think."
The White Bishop stared incredulously at Riley, though he may have been directing his ire at the paper itself. Riley continued, "It is from a gnome, my Lord. You know how they are.."
"And he suggests..."
Riley finished the sentence, "...that you trade with Ferein's queen." He immediatly regretted speaking when Vidus's face turned red.
"I will not.."
"It is just a gnome." Riley wondered why he kept speaking. He should just be quiet, and leave the White Bishop to seethe in peace. "It means nothing."
"That gnome thinks me the fool?"
"Looks that way," Riley said without thinking. Were Vidus's expression arrows, Riley knew he would be dead.
Vidus took a deep breath. "Get..." His voice quavered with rage, "...out."
Riley stumbled on his robes as he retreated, nearly knocking over a candelabra in the process. Once away from the White Bishop's study, he leaned against the wall and breathed a sigh of relief. It was then he noticed the piece of paper still clutched in his hands. He looked at it, read it another two times, then smiled despite himself. A thought came to him, unbidden but not unwelcome, and he smiled despite himself.
Just how does one measure V=I
|
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
-Henry David Thoreau
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 01:14 PM |
| ((*lol*)) |
Purpose in life: finding better ways of allowing players to kill themselves. Repeatedly.
--
"...Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good."
--
<@James42> Lawful good isn't in your vocabulary, it's on your menu.
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 05:27 PM |
| ((Good stuff. I can't believe he actually sent the letter :))) |
-Melina Danicelven-Songsinger, Fighter-Druid
Life is pain, you just get used to it.
-Aimee Victory, Rogue
Be excellent to each other.
-Iris Tammarack, Ranger
I'd have been here sooner, but I was busy coming up with that ham on rye line. |
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 06:21 PM |
((Good stuff. I can't believe he actually sent the letter :)))
((Now you see the power of 8 WIS :P)) |
|
|
|
|
|
Re: A Gnome's Letter to Vidus
Posted: 08 Nov 2005 07:00 PM |
((He needs to meet THE ADVENTUROUS THREEEEEEEEEEE *softly* plus one... that equation forgot to take into account the Power Of Heck!
Though otherwise, to quote a certain beer ad:
BRILL-yant!)) |
|
|
|
|