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Musings of a Monk
Posted: 26 Dec 2006 03:16 PM |
| Related Reading: http://vives.dyndns.org/vives/Forums/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=56919 |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 26 Dec 2006 03:16 PM |
Sitting in the Four Winds, a figure clad in monks clothing from the Asashi monastery takes out a small log book. Picking up a quill and placing a date at the top right corner of the first page and a heading:
“Inner Thoughts, Inquire and Review – Post Trauma Reflections”
Drawing a double line he begins making some notes below it:
“
Journal Entry #1
Having arrived at Port Royal, I ran into a kind lady by the name of Sylune, who not only has fed me a decent meal, but she also provided me some coin, in exchange for bodyguard services.
I’m not certain of what my skills are in such matters, but it seems it is more of a moral support issue, as she seems quite capable of defending herself as I discovered later.
At least I remember my name, Malviki, but nothing else comes to my mind. It is apparent I have been in this place for some time as even Uwe the gnome of the Four Winds looked surprised when I asked to rent a room. He handed me the key to the room I had already apparently rented.
Even this lady Sylune seemed to recognize me, though she has said little of what she might know. She only mentioned a name, Joe or something like that. Funnily enough, the paper I had on me had an article regarding both ladies, Sylune and this Joe in what is obviously pure concoction for selling papers.
I will have to bring up the subject of my mental state in general, as I feel something is not being told, and if this is the case there better be a good reason.
I have also made the acquaintance of a rather strange lady that tends to be sparsely clad, speaks seldom, and is quite handy with short blades. Tokiko she calls herself. She too seemed to have seen me before, but only in passing and without introduction, and incidentally with this Joe elf. I must learn more of this one as she seems a promising enterprise, if not handy. Small note, lots of gold may be required.
The Asashi monastery has been quite supportive in affirming my origin and some of the brothers where quite surprised at me for reasons I cannot understand. They also brought to my attention as well that I had recently brought in a guest, an elf by the name of Josaphine, to enjoy the shelter of the monastery.
Would that be the one and same person? A lot seems to revolve around this name, but I am not concerned at that at the moment. My inner self is missing, as I do not know who I am, what I did and what I want. At least I know where I am from, and now having spent some time up here in the monastery to reflect in my inner being, I have returned to Port Royal to discover whatever I can of myself.
Of course I must also honour my contract with lady Sylune, since she has handsomely paid for it. For now I will at least, but the future of this contract must eventually be discussed or renegotiated. Of course it is not a matter of material possessions at all, as those are merely necessities to pay for, and besides I have lately been able to provide for myself.
”
Placing down the quill back on the table, he remained motionless, staring at what he had just written, his dark unblinking eyes flickering back and forth line by line. Finally he clasped the note book close, a slight satisfied grim grin spreading on his lips as he tosses it lightly onto the table.
Standing up he adjusted his red sash, and tightened the fold of his robe before shuffling out of his room slowly and silently in the habitual walk monks of the Asashi monastery go about their duties. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 27 Dec 2006 08:45 AM |
Ceaseless rain poured on the Northern Highway as seemed to almost always do. He stood just outside the Inn wearing his peasant hat. Handy it was, as it kept his robe dry. Stepping in he removed it and gave it a shake for the excess of water to fall. A dark brooding grin showed slightly on his face as he mused over the events of the past few days and what he had learnt.
Climbing the stairs to his room, he flung his hat onto his bed and slumped into the chair by the table. Removing a scroll from the folds of his robes he opened and mused at it. Placing flat down on the table and next to it opening his log book to a clean page, he picks up his quill and begins writing.
“
Journal Entry #2
Sylune, Josaphine and Related
“
Drawing a single line below it he placed a dot at the end of related, pressing down hard as he glared coldly at the line in deep thought. A flicker of the oil lamp caught his eye dispelling his wistfulness and he continues to write.
“
After yet another visit to a place I have been in the past, I have had another confirmation to my suspicions. Finally confronting Sylune she has revealed the truth, if that is the truth. I cannot delve further yet into this as I have other matters on my mind, but I must revert and confirm, and possibly understand what has transpired. Besides what I have heard was a little offsetting. I am also not certain anymore how much she can be trusted, even if she is honest as lately what I have witnessed of her is a naivety akin to that of a small innocent child. I wonder if she really knows what her friend Lady Fri’el has done and how she would react to it if she does not. I will save the pleasure of shattering her naïve innocence at a later time, unless she has me fooled and there is more to her than meets the eye.
Which now brings me to Lady Fri’el Skygem-Arna. Where can one begin? She’s certainly not an angel, or not at least in the sense sir Cedrych would term it, but then again I am not inclined to listen to the bitter and uptight reasoning of someone who has failed where Lady Fri’el seems to have succeeded. I can understand what she had done was there a goal and need, but at the moment that goal seems to elude me. In most terms we seem to agree, yet I cannot fathom her reasoning or lack thereof. She claims vengeance and a host of other motives of personal nature, whereas for me it is simply a matter of lack of motives or emotions.
An instance I can best describe is how I turned my back on the little brat Nush. I did not see how the foolishness of his father made me responsible for having to take the burden to aid him. Yes I did investigate out of curiosity, but that is that, no promises where made. Curiously that brought a sensation of disorderliness, but it must have been a momentary lapse of reasoning. I somehow feel though Lady Fri’el might even be capable of far worse, and the reason I would not understand as I do not grasp her inclination yet. Perhaps I reason too much and spending time in her company when opportunity arises will clear things up.
I also braved the courage to ask of her a favour, and albeit not placing too much hope in her bothering with a mere mortal, I fear even if she did, I will not know what to do with it. The scroll says something about the Great Library. What was I looking for? Why would I go there that could not be found in the Asashi Library?
“
Placing down the quill he folds his arms reading back to himself with a stern look, line by line eyes darting back and forth as if trying to memorize the text. Eventually pursing his lips slightly in a self satisfied expression he resumes writing:
“Valethrion the mage“
Drawing yet another single line he begins to write directly:
“
A powerful mage, somehow something tells me I will be running into him more in the future. Must be handled with care, for it can be quite fatal to anger one like him. However the pompous self absorbed vanity of such power is the failing in cases as this, as people like him tend to forget there are other ways to dispose of people than direct confrontation. Which reminds me: I need gold, much more gold. I hate the damned metal but it seems to be a key to certain venues.
“
Without stopping he writes down one more name, drawing yet again another single line:
“
Tokiko
As time goes by I have begun trusting this one. She seems honourable, but still best beware. She has yet to provide me insight to herself and what drives her and I am still awaiting her answer to my proposal. Trying to pry anything out of this one is like trying to open a clam with a toothpick.
“
Placing the quill down, he passed over the entire text once more before displaying a grim smirk to himself. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 30 Dec 2006 11:54 AM |
Dipping his quill in the ink pot absently, his mind raced through his thoughts, trying to put them in order. The numbness initially caused by the information the one that called herself Annie, and the later meeting with Veshas had caused rather a turmoil. Glancing one final time at the previous entries in his journal he began writing again:
“
Journal Entry #3
I have visited yet once more Midor, to see the work of Lady Fri’el. It was with every intention to put my thoughts in place regarding this one, in trying to understand her motives and purpose. It is difficult to imagine how someone who has done this, was recently up and running in the woods trying to identify the source of the undead. I was with her and saw her resolve and her effectiveness.
Not that I disapprove, as walking these streets of quiet and orderly congruence almost made me want to done one of those togas and let myself get lost in the blissful ignorance, away from the chaos and debilitating influence of places like Port Royal. Alas, this will not last, but neither will life, hence the purpose must be another.
The deal with the one that calls herself Annie is over, although she has done what I have asked, yet she still places herself at my disposal. In seeking answers of my own I have received a little more than I wanted. It seems she serves this Valethrion as well, but he is not her real master, however it is not my concern, I have what I wanted, and she is too fickle to use in any other way. I wonder if the information she almost unwillingly parted is known to him as well, but again it concerns me not. I did not take pleasure in the methods used to extract it, but sometimes one has to resort to such for effectiveness.
I have been unable since to concentrate on the matter that I wished, especially after running into Veshas. She is one and the same with Josaphine, and I have begun understanding this. My memories are gone but some sensations have been surfacing, and I cannot ignore this any longer. Especially after having seen some truth in her words, I have come to a decision.
There are still some loose ends to arrange what I have in mind, but I am resolved to try and deal with this diplomatically if possible as the list is long and dangerous. Tokiko will be most useful in this aspect. Another note to self: more gold, this is going to cost me a lot, and depending on the outcome, possibly even much more.
“
Placing down the quill with a semi satisfied smirk, he unseated himself and walked to the window pensively gazing out. There were preparations to be made. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 03 Jan 2007 09:01 AM |
Pacing through the hallway of the Asashi monastery, the lone figure clad in his usual black monastery robes stops by the alcove room, peering in. It was presently empty, but a small smile still covered his face as he looked at the growing flowers. His gaze stopped at the far top left flower pots and a frown creased his brow. That was the flower Annie had touched, instantly withering them. Despite himself, a slight cold shiver ran through him, but intrigued him at the same time.
He forced his thoughts back to his original thoughts, musing over the conversation he had with that silly farm girl the other day. Yes, that is just the word for him, her guardian that was what he was. Perhaps it was an escape or atonement for his general disposition or alternate perception of the world as he would sum it, for even the darkest places have a little light in them. Turning back to his original path, he strode towards his study.
Several scrolls covered his desk, and various books on languages were piled neatly but for one that was open, with one of the scrolls in the margin. He gazed over at the signs scribed on them, with what seemed matching ones from the book. He frowned down at the book and closed it. This would have to wait again, something else had come up. Sitting down, he takes out a little log book and dipping a quill in ink he begins writing:
“
Journal Entry #4
I have yet to gain access to Midor’s Great Library, and it is unknown if I ever will. It seems I sent a letter, but it is being ignored and Lady Fri’el is nowhere to be seen, no doubt having bigger fish to fry than mere mortals. For now I put these aside, together with what I have so far discovered, which is little more than theoretical.
Since I tasted my own wine which I did not know I knew to make, has brought on a series of memory flashes. Certain things are coming back, and I am getting glimpses of the recent past, but perhaps more. It is all vague dreams as of now but it time it will improve. I get the sensation at times someone else is driving me, but it is rare and becoming rarer, perhaps also post trauma related. The sweet child is to thank for that, unknowingly she had unlocked something in me.
Hospitality arrangements are almost complete, but the guests are lacking, it seems my invitations are having difficulty reaching them. I am most displeased, not by the mere failing, but the fact that I myself was more effective. If I myself by mere chance should happen to run into half the guests to be, then why does a professional fail to do as much if not more. Enough, it seems I have placed more faith than was deserved in that person, and arrangements have been made for the failure to taste the consequence of displeasing me.
Of course, that is assuming my new prospect is more capable than her predecessor. By mere sight one has to admit she is not by far, but there is more to her than meets the eyes. Incidentally, I have met another of the guests to be, yet another over pompous self absorbed megalomaniac and demeaning person. Note to return the compliment in the future in person. Of course full diplomacy is to be maintained for the present.
“
Closing the log book, he turned an absent cold glare to the distance. This was just the beginning, other matters required attention, and sooner one was completed the quicker he could focus on the rest. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 10 Jan 2007 01:30 PM |
Malviki stood at the doorway of his room in the four winds, looking out from it before closing the door, his thoughts drifting back to the other day when he had stood there watching Shard's back as he left the room after their private discussion. In most cases he would simply scoff and mock at such a person, sadly depressed by their own moral views and self imposed restrictions. However, with Shard he did not. He had formed a sort of respect for this one. Perhaps it was the common interest they both had, perhaps he was getting too involved in some matters and getting unexpectedly affected, or perhaps he was simply confused as of late.
Yes, he thought to himself, the time has come to make some changes. His nightmares sometimes came back, and other times he slept dreamlessly. He glanced at the books and scrolls of his studies he had been remiss at completing. Perhaps he was looking in the wrong places. His thoughts drifted to the discussion with Alyssa. We are what we believe in, our belief in a god defines us, or something to that effect, he mused half scornfully to himself. He had seen the notice Rosen had placed and was intrigued to attend and simply listen, for he had nothing to contribute but his own dark shadows in his dreams. That was not a god was it, or some form of representation?
Sadly though, he would not attend. Time and other matters did not permit, but he made a note to talk to some of the people that would, at some point. He returned his attention to the table with his logbook, and seated himself, opening a fresh new page as he dipped his quill into the inkpot.
"
Journal Entry #5
There is little progress on the meeting but I have coalesced my plans. This is strangely beginning to shape up as a single master plan. I am certain Tristian will attend as we have been talking lately and he does not seem to hold a grudge. Sylune will no doubt attend as well, as both seemed not to shy from the invitation when we ran into each other in Ender's tent.
One I have no news of at all, this is proving more difficult than initially estimated. My only other concern is Balthor. Sadly he caught me off guard at the Trading Post and I did not make a good point of why he should attend. I have sent a message again, hoping to intrigue him this time into attending. No doubt a great mage as him has many other things to concern himself with, but his presence is just as essential as everyone else’s. Shard will be there and that has brought immeasurable relief.
Of course getting them there is only the beginning, and the problem is not what I want to discuss with them but what I do not want to discuss with them. This will prove tricky despite my ... *hand pauses briefly smudging the beginning of the next word as he crosses it out along with the previous word - my* ... her assurance to the opposite.
"
Pausing, he reads back to himself what he just wrote, and drawing a line under the last paragraph seems to start on a new subject.
"
What have I done? What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I promised, and I really meant it. I promised to never hurt her. I do not know how long I can keep this up, but I must see my other promise through at least, and then I will likely leave the monastery. I cannot go on like this, fooling myself and my brothers. Perhaps she should shoot an arrow through my heart, I deserve it. Perhaps she will if she finds out, or perhaps I will simply tell her so that she does. No, I could not bear the look on her face. Not now though, I must wait at least until this is over.
I have been swept up, like a feather drifting in the wind, unable to control or restrain myself. The sensation is too strong, and my will is bending to it. For once in my life I am uncertain of what to do, of what course of action to take. It is beyond me now, and I can only let it run its course wherever it may lead. I have cursed and damned myself, and I will have to pay the price for this eventually. No, I must place some distance for a while, just a little while until I can think clearly. There is still time, and I must take some precautions, but also make some decisions, difficult decisions.
"
Placing his quill down, he slouched back in his chair, a dark foreboding look forming in his distant absent gaze. A small ironic smile briefly twitches at his lips as some pleasant thought seem to pierce his gloom momentarily. Turning his head to his backpack on the dresser, he reaches a hand and takes out a scroll. Unfolding it slowly, his eyes shifted rapidly, examining it closely. He then rolls it back up neatly, and taking up his quill again, writes a small note hastily before placing it inside the scroll. Retrieving a scroll case from his backpack, he then places the scroll inside and seals the cap with red wax. Sitting back in his chair and holding it up to his face, he looks at it with a determined yet distant glare, eventually absently placing a soft satisfied possessive kiss on it as he then speaks to himself in a soft low voice.
"Now my little precious wonder, to whom can I entrust you to?"
His brow furrows slightly in a sad expression as he looks at the scroll case, gazing and speaking to it as if it was a person.
"I need to make a choice, for I have only one of you ... but there are two of us, and my odds are bleaker. If things should go wrong, this might mean ..."
He trails off, closing his eyes and tightening his lips as he rests his forehead on the scroll case cap in a grieving manner. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 11 Jan 2007 11:52 AM |
Getting up the following day he walked down to the Four Inn's basement that also served as temporary residence for some. She was gone. A small sensation of relief coursed through him. Reaching into his bag, as if simply to check if it was still there, his hand felt the shape of the scroll case. It was time to hand this over to the one he chose to entrust it to.
The fact that they would both be looking for him would make it easier to find him. That should not prove hard, but he also had to consider her words. He was getting impatient, she had said, and that could not bode well. This is not what he wanted or how he wanted it to conclude, at least not until he was satisfied.
Oh, yes there were things far worse than death you could do to someone. Things so bad that would make you scream and wish you were dead. That would be retribution and nothing less, and death itself would then only be a natural reprieve from the torment, the only way out. His eyes gleamed with malice and sadistic pleasure at his own thoughts. This was a little unlike him, for death was death, but he had a reason for wanting this.
Hefting the sheathed Katana over his back to a more comfortable position he turned on his heels and headed out in search for him. |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 11 Jan 2007 06:17 PM |
"
Journal Entry #6
The scroll is safely with the one I entrusted it with. I hope it will not be required at all, but it is a small measure of security that comforts me none the less. Now all that remains is to wait for the guests. Unfortunately it seems Balthor will not be attending as he has other matters to deal with, something to do with a newly acquired child. This will make things difficult.
Still, assuming all goes well, I must begin to look to the future. Where do I go from here? I have been giving the matter careful consideration, but have been unable to decide yet what I will do once this is over. Perhaps I will leave, far away for some time, or perhaps for ever to never return. I sometimes feel like doing this now, but I know I would loose all my self respect if I went back on my word, so I remain until this is done.
" |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 12 Jan 2007 01:29 PM |
"
Journal Entry #7
Brandibuck Vale. What a shame. It was a rather amusing place, with the small people and small houses, and, well, small everything. I did partake a little at the start, even going all the way to Ferein with Annie and Feren, questioning if the Elves knew anything of the attack. I let them do the speaking of course, as I do not speak Elven. I suppose the more prominent personas will handle this now, not that I really care, it was mostly out of curiosity that I got minorly involved. Strangely though, I will miss it, they way it was that is.
As for moving, I have decided. Icy Vale Inn will do nicely. The cold weather and seclusion will provide me the time to reflect and consider my next steps, as well as give me time to return to my research. I have transcribed all the relevant books I believe will be of some help, and it even seemed that I was getting somewhere, but I have yet to translate a full word of it. I suppose once I translate one word I will be able to do read the entire thing.
If I were only able to access the Great Library, I suspect it would be of great help and speed this along, but it is proving near impossible. Not that I have entirely given up, but for now I will make do with what I have, as it is hardly likely I will befriend one of the Enlightened any time soon. Not that I have anything against them, but I must consider the risks to my own self in doing so. But this is a matter to consider later.
I have already packed some belongings in a chest, leaving the bare minimum to get by for the few yet uncertain days that remain. I will have to tell Josaphine at some point, but it will be better to wait until after the event. Even yet, better after the whole thing is over.
With the certainty that Balthor will not attend, the now so ironically famous gathering at Asashi I have called, will proceed faster I assume. I cannot wait for this to be over and move on. She assured me the rest would be easy to gather. We talked at length the other day and some realizations have struck me, but I cannot yet word them. All I know is that I have been left rather numbed in general, far more than is usual for me, and that has left me bereft of any inclination. Perhaps it is that I have reached a new level of inner control, or perhaps it is simply the quiet before the storm.
The religious meeting is over, and as I sadly suspected I was unable to attend at the time, for I have not left yet the monastery and still need to perform my errand functions once in a while. I imagine I will have to write a letter to the coordinators, perhaps there was a written transcript of what was said, or perhaps they would be kind enough to provide me a summary. I am not interested in the entire details, but a rundown of the interesting revelations some had to make, if any. I suppose I am looking for something that I do not know what it looks like, but I will know when I see it.
" |
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Re: Musings of a Monk
Posted: 15 Jan 2007 01:35 PM |
The dark clad figure stood waiting at the bar for Mr Miggins to come out so he could pay him his weekly stay in the Icy Vale Inn. Mr Miggins was taking his sweet time with something else. The cat that had become part of the furniture in the common room wandered over to his leg and sitting next to it whipped its tail at his boot. He turned a cold dark wide eyed gaze at the creature and a malicious smile formed on his lips as some thought traversed his mind. Inconspicuously feinting not having seen the cat, he swivels his leg slightly on his heel and slowly brings it down hard on the cat’s tail. The piercing sound emitted by the cat was loud enough to turn everyone’s head, as well as get Mr Miggins to come over and see.
Smiling disarmingly, the figure holds out the gold for his second week's stay.
"Here it is Mr Miggins, my weeks rent, not a minute late."
Turning on his heels he heads towards the stairs to go to his room, briefly stopping at the door to look at the frowning cat's owner. A faked expression of dismay painted on his face he turns to him.
"I am so sorry about that. Little fellow crept up next to me without me noticing."
A few moments later he is in his room writing in a log book.
"
Journal Entry #8
I finally did it. I could not take it anymore, waiting upon an opportunity to accomplish a promise I care no longer about. Brandibuck is still recovering and Port Royal has gone up in flames. My greatest inconvenience in the matter? The Broken Mast is closed. The heroes of the land toil to fix things, and what am I doing? Having fun of course. For the first time in my life I feel I am alive. No more commitments, no more promises, no more reasoning. I was not meant for the monastery, but I have learnt some valuable things, so I hold no grudge to my recent past.
The robes have been thrown aside, and I have left summarily, although I do return at times to visit brother Valtine. I am grudgingly served, but served none the less, so who cares. Now I need to find employment or some preoccupation. I have chosen a new path that will not impose on my lifestyle or desires. I will eventually have to talk to Shard, mostly as I want my scroll case back. As for what he will do, that is his problem now, I care no more. He has all the names, facts, and also the motivation required. But I must not fool myself, for he can be dangerous. As all other heroes he is currently too busy with the devastating aftermath of the attack, so that will give me time to consider how to broach the matter.
I can now start to look to other matters I have wanted to. I have compiled a list and will be looking into it item by item, but for now my priority is to secure something. My training is not complete yet, but soon I shall have some new skills at my disposal. Just the other day she showed me how I can pick a lock, and I carefully watch her masterful stabbing when we run into something nasty. Of course the technique with the hand will be somewhat different, but the concept is the same.
And now I feel inclined to close this log book and throw it in the fire, for if this fell in the wrong hands, it could bring me no ends of trouble with all the pious moral preachers out there. This entry is my final tribute to the musings of a monk, as I am one no longer.
" |
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