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Doomsayers Journal
Posted: 09 Sep 2006 12:31 PM |
((note. there is also the whole backgroundstory : Agrippa – a tale of fire and brimstone,
Chapters 2-3 hold the beginning point for the actual Doomsayers journal))
Doomsayers Journal
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Indefiniteness. .
One of the things that drags people into madness
But on the other hand : there is a famous phrase, and a valuable thing given to most races :
“We are unable to see the future
So that we can keep our mental health”
[the journal starts suddenly after a bunch of torn pages]
I could not bring my self to throw away that grimmoire
And for now it seems too late
The book that has the power to write it’s self. Agrippa: Of occult thaumaturgy.
I saw new text appear, and found pages that I had not seen before
Even after a throughral search. I always find the books content unexplored
And oh how it keeps calling me
It has devoured my self identity,
and managed even to poison my mind
Yet it remains to save me from all situations
It whispers me how to deal with certain people
and it provides the best solution to everything
It’s been erasing some of my memories,
Or perhaps replacing them with ones that were not my own
I am it’s slave
Or perhaps less. Soon merely a body acting to it’s will.
The following thought that had crossed my mind is now driving me instane
But at this rate
I will become part of the books own will it self
For what I am anyway ? A person without a real name ?
A person without the ability to recall his whole past.
I cannot answer this
And pursuing these questions will perhaps be the death of me. |
When all is said and done, more is said than done
Ash Burz-Durbagu. Burzum ishi
IC: Owyn De'grace, and Agrippa (Beren) |
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The Exile
Posted: 09 Sep 2006 12:37 PM |
As I can recall little from my real past in Midor,
I have decided to write all that I can remember on this entry.
Since the day that my library burned down. I had lost everything. My family, my only son, and most that was left of my sanity. There was no place for me to go
I became a drifter
And soon the local madman
I would keep having nightmares so horrible, that I started having delusions.
It did not matter even if I was awake. I would still recall the visions, and see them as reality.
At the south-side of Midors walls –obiously the wrong side for anyone-
There were only the pirates, prostitutes, and murderers.
A life of misery,
Just to think of those years I spent as a drifter. I was indeed lucky not to end up
being murdered, nor dead from effects of starvation and disease.
In my possessions I had only : a stolen tunic, one slightly burnt tome, and the two ringchains of manacles – they were still firmly attached around my arms, yet I was barely aware of their whole existance.
After some months I was so skinny that the manacles would fall off from my withering limbs.
During nights there were noises of struggle and abuse.
I repeatedly heard someone walking trough the dark alleyways. I barely had the courage to fall a sleep. And even during daytime. I felt the precense of someone haunting me.
Soon night became day
And day became night
My world was spinning
Untill I reached a point where I would either reach out to die or survive
I was so hungry that it made me unable to think clearly. I had to think of something fast. Just to keep my thoughts away from the pain of starvation.
There was only one thing I could do. So I read.
Reading the book, would give me hope enough to manage trough the night.
Once I eyed at its’ pages. I felt somehow refreshed.
Almost as If it was affecting me. In a nourishing way.
Sometimes there was this slight sensational feeling.
An instict that kept me alive.
As if someone was whispering to me how to avoid trouble.
Where to get food. And how to survive in cold.
Eventually I managed to find the exiled haven. And amongst them - Peace of mind.
That is where my downfall first seemed to have ended. I started to get better in my physical condition.
One of the exiled taught me how to build better things out of garbage.
I helpt them in candlemaking, and weaving of clothes that were later sold for a price at the docks.
All of this, under conditions that were very primitive.
They gave me my daily bread - Food enough to keep me alive.
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When all is said and done, more is said than done
Ash Burz-Durbagu. Burzum ishi
IC: Owyn De'grace, and Agrippa (Beren) |
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