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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 01 Oct 2003 05:39 PM |
((Fri’el’s been thinking and writing a lot in her cell. Here’s some of the things she’s written in a whole new book, which she’ll continue writing in for as long as she lives. She shows it freely if people ask her in her cell, so any PC could technically have access to it- so long as they’re not one of the one who people who aren’t talking to her, who would have to ask a guard to get the book for them to read or something. Hope anyone who reads the thing finds it in the slightest bit interesting.))
This tome is written in Fri'els handwriting, which is crisp, clear and perfect. She has obviously spent a good deal of time scribing the pages
On the nature of good and evil, and their place and role in the multiverse.
It has come to be that I am thinking often of good and evil lately. Of what they are, why they are, and what they actually do. And I have come to some conclusions that may or not be interesting. This chain of thought started when I myself committed an act which will be forever branded as evil. I caused undue suffering to a woman, and felt no remorse for my actions whilst I did it. Yet I also felt as if the thing I did was completely natural and normal whilst it happened. So I am forced to ask the question “Why is that?”. The chain of thought and logic has not been simple for me to follow, as I try and place myself in the multiverse and deduce what it is that allowed me to undergo an act which I would so recently have found utterly abhorrent. Luckily, I have had the solitude of prayer and lonesomeness to allow me to complete these thoughts in peace.
Both good and evil are self purporting extremes. They are very similar, and very different. This is what makes them so attractive, and indeed makes them seem so natural to those who act on their behalf. It is, of course, clear that one is better for those involved than the other, and that one leads to good things for people as a whole, and one to bad things. However, both are destructive in their own way. This was the first thing I was able to deduce. It is their similarity which allowed me to work out the next basic thing on my road to understanding my actions.
Some things are not swayed by either good or evil. Love is an example of this, and is in my case the ultimate reason for my actions. Love can blind you from morality and many other things for short or even long periods, meaning that it is possible to act completely different from how you normally would and still feel as if you are acting normally and properly. In my case, it was love of a person which did this, and the desire to protect them from harm which led me to act in a way abhorrent to those which are good. So why is it that good and evil find themselves so intertwined, yet so utterly hostile?
Because good and evil are both different parts of the same spectrum. In the universe, everything has a place, a role, a duty. Perhaps it is ordained, perhaps it is not. Yet the end result is the same, that all people play a small role in the eternal scheme of things. Yet what role is this? To define the role of people in the battle which is the multiverse, I must ask myself and answer yet another question. What are good and evil the multiverse anyway?
The answer is simple. They are black and white. They are good and bad. They are wrong and right. They are alpha and omega. They are the opposites which allow everything in the middle to exist. And thus, we are all touched by them throughout our life, and how we react to them when we are defines who and what we are. The cruellest demon is touched by good, but spurns it. The most pious solar feels the wrench of evil upon his holy soul, yet shuns it. That is what makes them what they are, the definition of their alignment. For they shun all contact with that which would put them actually onto the scale, and thus sit eternally on the extremes. Yet all mortals take a place on the scale, and their acts move them about a small part, who they offer prayers to, what they do, what they react to. They are forever a part of that scale, from their first breath to their last gasp. Changing daily, shifting, taking an action and receiving its consequence.
And what is the consequence of an action? Ultimately, a tiny shift in the eternal struggle towards good or evil in this battle that is the multiverse. A soul offered to a demon is a drop in an ocean, yet if the soul is not saved by a Paladin or warrior for good, Evil ultimately gains an advantage, albeit a small one. So we are forced to ask, what can we do about this? The answer is, that we must make a choice. A choice with three options. To smite good, to stand against evil, or to try and maintain some sort of balance. This choice is ultimately involved in every decision we make, whether we like it or not, Selling armour to a person for instance is not an evil act, yet if someday a great blackguard wears the armour and his life is saved by it then the armour has led to a slight advance of evil in the universe. It has been a humbling thought for me, that even subconsciously we can aid those we despise and wish destroyed.
So which path is the correct one? There is no answer to that. Whilst you will be told by either side that their side is the correct one, evil with promises of wealth and power, good with promises of helping people and truly being good, the choice is made by the person involved alone. And choose well, for remember the terrible consequences your actions can bring, even when you don’t wish it to do so. Everything you do which is wrong, however minor, ultimately shifts the balance towards the darker forces favour, and that could give the small advantage needed for a great evil to gain enough power to launch an attack, or something even more horrible.
Realise what I have realised only after committing a heinous dead: You can make choices with the best intentions, and yet end up doing the worst things. Consider carefully your actions before proceeding, that you don’t end up destroying someone in your blindness.
On the nature of life.
I have also had to consider lately, whilst sitting in this cell, the nature of life itself. What is it? It is a gift. A great gift, surely, yet a gift none the less. And also remember this, that it is something we are only loaned by the gods, and they may call in the debt at any time they wish. I have chosen to serve the Ice Queen, in part to thank her for all the boons I have received throughout my life. What you serve, in a sense, doesn’t even matter. Just that you are ready to be a thrall to another in thanks for what you have received. Anyone who is truly faithful can see that in you, and even as they fight you to the death for your differing beliefs can respect you for your strength of faith. Faith is strong where nothing else is. Faith is above hate, above love, above pain, above life and death themselves. It is what makes life what it is.
Yet do not place little value on your life because of it. For life is the greatest gift that the gods have given us, and should thus be treated as such. Cherish your life, and the lives of others likewise. Know that as your life is precious to you, the life of another should be likewise precious. A life is not a toy, to be played with and then discarded. It is the greatest of lessons. Everyone’s life can be learnt from, everyone’s mistakes a source of correction and information. Watch how others live. Remember to emulate it if you agree with it, and to spurn it as if a plague if you do not.
Always be thankful for this greatest of gifts, and you can never truly be wrong. For as soon as you stop being thankful for this gift, and cherishing life and quality of life in others, you can begin to slide down the slope which I was so recently on, the one which leads to the end of all things for you, and an eternity of torment for that small bit of power gained. Is a few gold really worth the smile of a child as you give it to them so you can eat?
On love.
Love is almost the greatest of all emotions and thoughts, save faith. Faith is a greater love, love of an intangible greatness which can pull you through anything. Yet do not shun love because of this, for it is almost as great. It is love alone which can blind us to the truth, from what someone is and has done. And that is the greatest power a thing can ever have over you, the ability to conceal the truth. Never allow it to happen, lest you suffer the fate of falling, whilst all the time you feel that you are doing the right thing. Love is a great thing, a most potent drug. Addictive, beautiful, and uncontrollable. Once you love, you never want to let go, never want it to die. Love can grasp you tighter than a pit fiend, and be more controlling and dangerous once you are in its grasp. Consider this always, yet again I must warn those who read this not to spurn it as an emotion, for it is also a great and wonderful thing. Love the beauty in the world, love those who deserve it, love your friends, love your enemies. For all people deserve love, no matter what they have done. There is no such thing as a person beyond love. Even the darkest servant of evil has a small amount of love in their heart, though they may call in loyalty, duty, or service. Love is a thing which has great power over many, be they labelled, good, evil, light, or dark. And this is why it is so powerful, because it spans all people, and all acts. And thus can cause you to take part in acts across its whole spectrum whilst under it’s welcoming shadow. Beware those who come to you with love in their hearts and on their lips, for whilst you will enjoy every moment with them and never wish to leave them, it is possible that you will do things more horrible than you could imagine in order to keep them with you. As I did.
The True power of Love.
Another word, another kiss;
Another sound, another moment.
Alone, always wanting,
Desire burns within me,
An eternal hole inside,
Never again to be filled,
This is how she has left me,
Abandoned all alone
Alive still in my memory,
Lost and afraid, alone.
My tears fall silently around me,
My breath falls cold
The darkness all around me
Abandoned and discarded, once again alone
The words she whispered to me
A torment in my mind
Lust brims up within me
Sitting here alone
Questions of my actions
Pain for what I’ve done
Innocence now has left me
From this moment on, alone.
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 01 Oct 2003 05:43 PM |
Holy. A proper philosophical treatise? 
Seriously... did you write this? |
Aria
So talented, so troubled. |
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From the Pen of Fri'el Skygem...an explaination
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 03:00 AM |
((Yep. More to come, as well. Next she's going to write on the nature of hate and the place of the cleric in society. Should finish them this evening))
(([Edit to elaborate on my motives] Fri'el's in a cell right now, so I can't really RP her. I was also left wondering "What's she doing while she's in there?", and so I decided that she was thinking about stuff a lot. She keeps a journal (Which she ripped half up after getting caught, cue deletion from HD :P), and so I decided that she's started writing philosopophy after seeing Lord Davidsons poems. After saying that Fri'el would start doing poetry in a post somewhere, I sat down last night...and ended up writing the 1st post. Now, Fri'el enjoys writing philosophy, and is carrying on doing it. Well, I'm writing it, but you get the ideaIf anyone's got ideas of what a cleric would be philosophising about, PM me and I'll do a widdle piece on said topic. She's got enough time.[/Edit])) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 03:36 AM |
| Well done. Well done indeed! :) |
{Bentalious "Ben the Pen" Du'Vaine}
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 05:04 AM |
((Got bored in ICT, so here's Fri'el's take on hate. Sorry, very RP starved :P))
As you turn the page of the tome, there is a page more carefully scribed than any yet. It is clear that caligrafing the page alone must have taken hours. Intricately printed at the top of the chapter are the words....
On the nature of hate
Hate is another thing which has occupied my mind lately, and thus I will attempt to quantify it. In first began to think about hate when a person most dear to me now was holding the staff of the Dark God Menarok. At that time, I wondered why someone would devote themselves totally and utterly to hate. It has taken me the greatest of times to quantify this dark force, though I have come to some conclusions which might be of use to those who wish to avoid treading that darkest of rods. For hate is another emotion which is universal. The most holy follower of Midoran hates at some point in their life. As the Paladin smites the kobold chief, for the briefest of seconds even she hates that which she is destroying. It is a powerful force, and the antithesis of love. However, it is not all encompassing, and many people only touch upon the beast for a few seconds in their whole lives. These people are blessed and lucky. Hate ultimately leads only to the worst of things. Pain. Grief. So why is it that people are willing to essentially succumb to the hate, give into the pain, and revel in it? This I have realised is the true question regarding hate. For whilst it can be quantified, as a force of great power and the opposite of love, it is much harder to try and understand why one would succumb to it. I believe that there are two paths which lead to the ending that is a hateful existence, and these paths are Love, and Loss. Love allows us to hate because we hate those who would take and would hurt those that you love. This is the limited force of hate, however. You hate in the moment, wish destruction on a person, even wish them pain. You truly hate the person who would take and hurt that which you love. I know this, and have felt it. It is as great a hate that the most devout follower of Menarok feels as he drains the blood of a child, yet is lesser in that it does not consume your soul, and passes with time. However, there is a more permanent hate, which dominates the life of those it consumes. The poor individuals involved know nothing but pain and sadness, and hate all because of it. These people lack love, lack light, and revel in spreading their pain to others. Many would call them evil, I call them unlucky. Due to bad choice, or simply the spinning of the web by the fats, enough was done to them that they hate rather than love, desecrate rather than consecrate, wish to destroy rather than create. This road stems from sadness and loss. For when the great hero’s wife is killed, he is brought closer to this than any whisperings from a dark force would. He feels pain, suffering, agony, a loss which can tempt him to do things to bring back what he lost in foul ways, seek power at the expense of others, or worse. And these feelings are all the worse because the person involved all the time feels that they are doing the right and natural thing, just as when blinded by love. For both can blind you, for better and for worse. This great man, when he realises what he has lost for the rest of his mortal life, can be consumed by hate for what took her. This can never be a good thing, for hate only leads to bad things. If you learn nothing else from my little writings, learn this and remember it until the light fades from your eyes that last time. Hate is never the right path. Love instead of hate. When all seems bleak, find solace in another. Offer a prayer, if you have lost, remember fondly what you once had- but never give into the pain.
Hate is, ultimately, the expression of pain and loss, incarnated in a single, powerful force. Rage against this force with all your strength, and you shall never slip into its grasp as I once did. It is not a matter of being just for a time, or a single incident, for it is a road. And once you step onto it, it takes a vast amount of strength to turn back, for all seems easy and right whilst you are on that road. All seems normal to you, yet to others you are changed. Listen to your friends when they say you have changed. Remember what you once were. Have the strength to stay as yourself rather than becoming hateful.
((Fri'el's thoughts on the role of the Cleric and service coming up soon- unless you all want me to shut up, in which case I will.)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 05:38 AM |
((Just tell me when to shut up, and as I said, any ideas about what a cleric would be philosophising about just PM me. Got a few more up my sleeve though. Stay tuned for Fri'el's take on passion))
The next chapter is less carefully scribed than the last, though it is still evident that a lot of time was put into scribing the pages. The lact of mistakes makes it clear that several drafts were written before the final. It bears the title......
On the role of the Cleric
A while ago, a person most dear to me asked my why it was that I dirtied my hands with commoners. Now I am less busy, I have come to think seriously about why this is. After all, it is a good question. Why would someone give up wealth in order to help people and serve another? Luckily, I think I have an answer to satisfy the question. It is the role of the cleric to serve, and it is in serving that we find out who we really are. The service to a greater force allows us to express ourselves in a unique way, and also allowed us the power to help or hinder in accordance with our Divine Mistresses’ wishes. This is all very good, but it does beg the question “What is the true role of the cleric?”
I will attempt to answer this much more complex question now. Ultimately, a cleric is nothing more than a vassal, a channel for the service of another’s will. Some clerics dispute this, and delude themselves with ideas of personal divine favour. Indeed, it is true that in order to be a cleric and cast the divinely granted spells, you must have a certain amount of favour from the divine which grants them. However, it is always important to remember that the true role of the cleric is to serve. The general role of the cleric now outlined, we must ask ourselves, how is it that we are meant to serve? This is, of course, the real question, and the one which we have the most trouble answering.
We can try and solve this problem with divination, and prayer, and these media are often sufficient. Yet the fact remains that it is not always possible to get an answer. What happens when you must make a spur of the moment decision? What happens when you do not have time for cast a divination or ask for a divine response? Then, how is it possible to know what action will serve our goddess best? Then, we must use our instinct and belief as our guide. A servant should know their master, and know their dogma. Thus, these problems are easy to solve. Yet I digress.
The role of the cleric is to serve. Also, the cleric’s role is to spread the word of their divine mistress across the lands. This is a goal common to all clerics, and the one which puts them most often at odds. For the Cleric of Midoran may wish to bring the criminal to justice, and the cleric of Menarok who was wronged may wish to make an example of him in front of others. That is a conflict of interests, for the two faiths at that time have a desire to perform a certain different act to the same thing. The same principle applies to converts and other such times when two churches may end up wanting to do different things and only one is possible. To serve and to spread the word. Is that all the Cleric is responsible for? I do not believe so. I feel that the cleric should protect the interests of their faith, honour and protect the portfolio of their deity, and also stand up against the mislabelling of their religion. These are the lesser roles, and the ones I consider most likely to be ignored by the careless and foolish, those negligent of their true duty.
It is my advice to all that would serve the divine, be it a Cleric, Paladin, or even a fiendish Blackguard, not to forget these roles. Let the wrong thing never be said of your divine masters. Forget not the insults flung at either you or them, but remember them. Then, do not reply in kind, but calmly explain where the person is wrong. For the calm words of the faithful can stem the tide of an army, or turn the sword of a warrior. Also remember to protect that which your deity holds dearest, for them you are serving them in the most literal way. Honour always that which they hold dominion over, and revere their portfolio as you do theirself.
It is in service that we find ourselves. Remember that, and a great follower you can be. Delude yourself not with ideas of strength or personal favour, but act as the thrall who prostrates himself before his master always. Offer your prayers, and accept your atonements in good grace. For the role of the cleric is not to be a power unto themselves, but to be nothing more and nothing less than the slave who has the momentary smile of his master.
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 09:23 AM |
| Very, nicely written. |
"...Another day passes and I slip further from reality..." |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 09:28 AM |
((Hey, a study period. And Fri'el was in a writing mood in jail! I never used to believe in coincidences :P))
The next three chapters are again well written, and Fri'els scribing is now incredibly good. The first is titled....
On the difference between loneliness and solitude
I have been alone for a long time lately, and have come to think about the difference between loneliness and solitude. I have decided that there is a difference between the two, though it is subtle and likely only to be noticed by those who have experienced both. Solitude is self imposed, and not by nature a bad thing. You are solitudous when you sit alone and think, or wish to take a break from daily life and be alone for a while. You are lonely when every passing second you feel pulled further away from those you love, wrenched away from your friends, torn from that which matters to you. It is a nightmare to be lonely, and so I give this advice freely: Treasure every moment you have with your friends and loved ones, for they may be gone from you sooner than you think. Gone to death, gone away, even where they were and you cannot get to them. Thank the gods for every word they say to your ear, and remember every detail of their smiles, for when you are without them it is a torment.
On the natures of Passion, Desire, and Lust
In the past few days, I have also been thinking about passion, desire, and lust. All of these are intrinsically linked to love, the main thing which they often lead to. However, they are strong and powerful emotions in themselves. I started my thoughts by considering what the difference between each is. Passion is the enjoyment of an act, or memory of an act. It is a wonderful emotion, full of joy which so long as it is controlled leads to only good things. Desire, I believe, is closely linked to loneliness. Desire is a bifurcated feeling. First, there is desire for that which you have already experienced. The husband still desires his wife on a journey. The second face is the desire for that which you have not experienced. The suitor desires the Lady, even though he has not and may yet not have her. This is a dangerous emotion to have in too great a quantity, for it can lead to greed, which is always bad. Indeed, there is a name for excessive desires. This name is Lust. When does desire become lust? When the emotion, like hate, takes over the person. When you want something so much it is all you consider, you are lusting for it. Lust is a dangerous and powerful feeling- and possibly the true antithesis of Hate. Love and hate are opposites, but as Love is opposite to hate, so t
oo is lust. Yet opposite to different parts of the grand term. Love is opposite to every part of Hate, lust is a cruel desire which festers within you, just as hate for a person does- yet what you want to do to the subject of the emotion is vastly different. And so my train of thought led me to thinking of why these emotions are so powerful. They are powerful because people want them. All people want them. Just as all people love, and all people hate, all people have lust, desire and passion, in that order. The Blackguard lusts for great power. The twisted servant desires his master’s position. The cruel master has passion for the chaste girl he has imprisoned. This led me to think some more. Why then, if these emotions are so dark, are they so freely expressed by good folk? Because they are in the main not so. All of these emotions are normal and as such not expressly evil- though they can be twisted to be so by those of perverse sentiment and mind. Indeed, I feel that a person not affected by these emotions would be a cruel and twisted being indeed, unable to do anything but follow orders with no compassion, for he would not desire anything else.
So, what was I able to conclude from this cacophony of thoughts? In this case, I was able to work out that by nature Lust, Passion, and desire are the different parts of a single scale, in a very similar way to how good and evil are on the same scale. You start with passion, move through desire, eventually ending up lustful for an object of person. This is not the only conclusion I was able to come to, however. For I was able to come up for some advice for how to avoid becoming a machine in service to your lust: Remember always that you are yourself, and do not be blinded by short term goals such as a person or object. These things are vastly important, indeed to me my love for my dearest is greater than anything else I feel, however try to bear in mind that the greatest things are gained by calm thought and remaining as you truly are, not by changing yourself or your whole agenda to achieve something.
On the Nature of Sadness
I have also been thinking of sadness, yet have realised that sadness is entirely subjective. I can only hope to share with you my sadness in this moment, that you may feel it with me and for en eternity enjoy the happiness you have, remembering that it is a blessing if it lasts forever.
The very essence of sadness, by Fri’el Skygem.
The sound of her voice runs through my head
Sitting here without her
Wishing to be back inside her bed
Lying calm beside her
Dreaming of caressing the hair upon her head
Sitting there beside her
Wondering about where we would have been led
Running along beside her
Thinking of what we would have said
If I lay dying beside her
All I dream of now is to be with her,
Before the thoughts of our time together whither.
On the nature of Death
And now my morbid thoughts turn to the end of all things, death. A wise man once said in a tongue long forgotten, Nascientes Morimur. These words, translated into common, mean “That which is born will die”. This is a truth, and it is best for us mortals to remember it and take these words to heart. Nothing is eternal, save the gods themselves. Even the planes slowly fade from existence, as their purpose runs thin. I sit here considering that the end of my time is near, and so wonder what it will be like. All my clerical training has allowed me to know the truth of what happens to our souls after we die, and speaking with those who have been brought back has helped me form my knowledge of this most terrible event further. After we are slain, our spirit leaves our body and travels to the plane of the God which we offer our prayers to . There, we are able to revel in their greatness and serve them for an eternity, joyous that we are with them. So I will not dwell on this matter, more try and talk of what to do when one who is dear to you is taken, for I know well that pain. The person you have lost is likely to be most dear to you, yet remember that they are not gone. They are in a paradise now, and so are happy. Yet, not all receive this happy fate. Mark well my words, those who read this and wish to commit the heinous sins which I so recently brushed on. For by sinning, you allow the devils and demons themselves into your soul for a second. Whilst hate burns in your heart, they are there savouring the moment and waiting for the time when you fall. And this is where many evil-doers make their mistake. For their soul does not go to their god, it goes to the devils and demons themselves. These beings do not care for a lemure at their hands, and so you are forever a toy to be played around with, thrown, discarded, destroyed, used, wasted. Is that what you want? Most people do not. So remember the consequences of your actions in the next life before you act harshly in this one. Yet even with this knowledge, we find ourselves uncomfortable with death? Why is this, you ask. I myself have only the answer which I answered myself with when I asked that question, and it is this. We are by nature weak. We fear the unknown, fear what may come to pass. And for this reason we fear death. Considering more deeply, however, a better answer may be formulated. Perhaps we fear and avoid death out of love for our dearest, not wanting to leave them? Indeed, this is true. Perhaps we wish not to die that we would not hurt those we love by so doing? This is equally true. Indeed, some do not fear death at all, for they hate light and life with equal fervour. They wish only to end, and those who wish that are most often granted exactly that wish.
So, my final thoughts on death before I leave the morbid topic behind and think of happier things? Do not fear death for what will happen to you, for so long as you atone for your sins and do your best to be the utmost and best follower of your deity, there is truly nothing to fear. However, be not careless with your life, for most oft there is one who loves you dearly who would not wish you to be slain, and as such it is best to try and avoid this fateful event for the pain it will bring to them.
((Thanks, Alenuska.-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 12:06 PM |
| ((OK, Fri'el, Alenuska... I gotta ask this, WHAT THE HECK DO YOU DO ALL DAY?! That's abso-fricken-lutly insane! Not even I have time for that! And I write short stories! What do you do, type a little, save it, work on it later, and copy and paste the whole thing in?! I can't believe how much time some of you people have, I just do all my Vives work in POE, Lunch, and Study Hall I'm not going to bother reading it, because Derfel would get bored anyways, and Tasra doesn't give a rats arse about what other people think. So, you got caught? Maybe I'll have Derfel be put in your cell >:D Well, enjoy cell time!)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 12:15 PM |
((Reply to Tasra removed in order to post next part.))
The next chapter is short, and looks as though Fri'el wasn't exactly sure what to write, and indeed as if she was trying to bolster herself as much as write a book to be read
On the nature of rejection
And now my thoughts turn to what for me is my greatest fear, and for many the greatest fall of their lives. To be rejected. It has been on my mind for some time, unfortunately, and so again I decided to think deeper about why it is what it is. It has come to me that rejection is not truly an emotion at all, but a response to another emotion. Whether you are rejected for a task or by a love, the feeling is the same, but the form is different. The rejection from a love is the much greater form, though it is important to remember that both forms of rejection will pass in time. Yet what is rejection? Rejection is that horrible feeling when the world has gone wrong. The sky greys, the stone dirties, and you feel like the end would be a blessing. So why is this? Ultimately, it is because our greatest desires, our wants, our very needs we see always as possibilities, and when these things become impossible, we feel greatly saddened. So rejection is the negative reaction when another emotion is no longer viable. Of course, it is truly not possible to totally quantify rejection in all of its forms, yet we can come to a number of conclusions about it all the same. The first is that it is one of the harshest emotions to feel in the short term. It really is a bitter feeling, and without careful thought can lead to much worse feelings such as anger and hate. The second is that we must always remember that rejection is temporary. Whilst the actual rejection takes a lot of effort to change, the feeling fades over time. Remember this, and taste the bitter pain whilst it lasts, remembering that as with all things good, in time it will go away. Thus the cycle repeats itself. Whether unrequited love, or being refused work at an Inn, it is always possible to move on. When the rejection is blackest, and the pain is greatest, remember those words and you can never go far wrong. Hold your head high. Give not into the pain, and emerge all the stronger for it.
What can be learnt from this? Rejection is one of the hardest feelings to truly fathom and analyse as such. This is because whilst it can hurt as much as either hate or love, and whilst it truly is as broad as either, it takes many more forms and for many more reasons than any other emotion. Possibly it is the most sad of all the emotions, in that it happens to everyone, and in many ways throughout our lives, and whilst the pain of one rejection fades, the next one is equally bitter. If I were to try and decide which emotions best exemplified the mindset of humanoids, I would most likely choose rejection, hate, and love. For it would be possible to live a lifetime feeling only these, yet it would never be possible to live without one of them. For everyone loves, everyone hates, and everyone is rejected once. So when you feel like there is no-one there for you, and the whole world is wrong, take heart! For each and every person you have ever met has felt the pain that you do, and it is indeed most likely true that they who caused you the rejection has felt it to. Be strong through the pain, have faith in the gods, and you shall be a better person for it.
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 01:58 PM |
This thread is obviously an IC, RP thread. Please respect the poster (who's doing a great job, btw) by keeping your replies IC or at least to a one-line "good work" thing.
Thanks! |
Question Authority! |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 02:46 PM |
| This is fan-freaking-tastic work! Keep it up! |
I'm The Cult of Personality. |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 02:56 PM |
This page was obviously written quickly, as if Fri'el had a sudden visit which inspired her to write thus. There was no draft made evidently, and the caligraphy is only in black and white, yet the print is still fine and carefully scribed
On the nature of Loss
And now, having had a conversation, my thoughts turn to loss. Again, I have to ask myself questions about this feeling, in order to truly understand the effect it is having on me. Loss comes in many forms. Indeed, I have heard and read that there are deities devoted to it, though I have never encountered any true evidence of them. What is loss, then? Loss is when you have something, only to loose it or have it wrenched from you. Loss is pain. Loss is suffering. Loss is another of the feelings which must be learnt from and endured, lest it lead to hate.
So, you might ask, what led to this train of thought? Fear. Fear of loss is as great and controlling as the beast itself. For we can fear to loose what we barely even tender, and thus become controlled by this fear of loss. Again, we see the power that emotion has over us mortals, and must be thankful that we have the strength not to give into the fear of what will happen. Yet I digress again. The truth is that loss is a thing most sad and most powerful. As I have said, many things are blessings which we should not count upon to last. Life. Love. Power. Happiness. All these things we can loose as the fates spin their webs. And so we begin to understand the nature of loss, and the power which it can have over us. For to loose brings the same feelings as to be rejected, and these are powerful feelings which it is foolish to underestimate.
The strongest person can be brought to their knees by this feeling, and be unable to think of anything but what they once had. It hurts to loose something, someone, a feeling. All of these things can torture you once they are gone.
The pain that they bring is the worst kind of pain, however, the emotional pain which never truly leaves, especially loosing one you love. The fear of that can drive a person to distraction, just as love itself can. Indeed, I would say that much of love’s power comes from fear of loosing that which you are in love with. This is a sad thing to realise, but it is important to realise this to truly understand why people act as they do when they are in love, and also to understand how to stay in control of yourself when you feel concerned about loosing that which you love. As always, it is best to think calmly about what to do, and act as you would without fear or a concern about loss. I digress again.
Loss is the feeling of emptiness when something dear to you is gone, and you fear that you cannot recover it. A dropped coin is not lost, yet a bag of gold which falls into the sewers is likely to be considered lost. As with all the things I have considered, loss affects us all, and forces us to act as we would not normally. Fear of loss is a greater power, since it can enter our minds and make us act without actually needing a basing in fact. Do not misunderstand what I write, however. It is normal to fear loss, and not to enjoy it when it happens, as with all bad things. However, it is important not to allow the loss to take over and control your life, for then you are setting yourself on the road to hate, which is never a truly good thing.
No matter how it starts, the end is always the same. I have written as such before, yet I shall write it again, and many more times before I finish this little book of mine: Don’t give into hate. Stand firm in your beliefs and ideas, and never give ground the hateful and evil forces that would take what you most want. For once you have lost one thing, if you start out on a hateful road to try and get it back, you can loose much more than what you lost originally. Your friends. Your status. All that once was dear to you. Your very life. And these are not things to be toyed with lightly and discarded, as I have learnt. I ask you, don’t make the mistakes I did. Value others. Put nothing above love and respect, and love all things. If you feel like striking another, love them as you pull back your hand, and have the strength not to. For that is the true strength.
It is weak to give into your fears, your hates, your loss. It is strong to take the pain, as a bastion of your beliefs in an ocean. Loss is a great thing, and can shape your life if you do not have the strength to stand against it. Have the strength, as I once did not. Hole your ideals above your emotions, above your pain, above your loss. And for the rest of your life you will be able to stands strong, pious, and chaste, as I am now not able to because of what I did.
Take these words to heart, and know that your pain is felt by the whole world also. There is always someone there when you need them, always someone feeling as you do. No matter how isolated a loss makes you, find solace in the fact that so many have trod the sands before you.
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 03:41 PM |
((Here's some more random scribblings by everyone's least favorite philosopher, Fri'el. Coming up next are her thoughts on hate and love together. Feedback, good and bad, always welcome via PM, and any suggestions of topic equally so.))
The next chapter is short, yet it is clear that much thought went into it. It is also clear from the caligraphy that Fri'el considers what is written within to be some of the most important words that she has written
On Fear
I have come to recently pen my thoughts on many things, and so now I consider a theme which seems to reoccur often throughout. This theme is fear. For it now seems obvious to me that it is as much fear of an event coming to pass that motivates us as the actual event itself.
Take fear of a robbery. We act because we are scared of it as surely as if we see it happening. The feelings are similar Worry, concern, possibly anger. Yet the event has not happened, and may not ever come to pass. So why is this? I feel that it is because when we think something will happen, we instantly think of the worst possible result. This, of course, leads to us worrying that the worst, not the best, will be what happens. This then logically leads to the person reacting to the worst scenario, not what is most likely to happen. It is in this that the mistake which leads to all the pain which fear causes comes from. For we should only fear what we know will happen, and even then it should only be a minor concern. For by acting with care and thinking through our actions, we can stop needing to really fear- for we can almost know what will happen before it does. And that is the benefit of careful thought and proper planning.
Yet again, I digress. Fear can make us act as we otherwise would not, and for that reason should be respected as a powerful force. As with all feelings and emotions, however, the important thing is to maintain yourself when faced with fear, and remain calm enough to act as you would without its influence. For to do this allows us to maintain ourselves against what would otherwise make us act in a way we could later regret, if we are lucky enough to be given the chance. Indeed, I write this whole little book drenched in the regret for what I have done, and in the hope that those who read it can be strong where I was not. Remember always that what you feel I too have felt, and always know that it is possible to be strong enough to avoid the grasp of evil, the taint of death, the stench of regret. None of these things must happen, and all it takes to avoid them is careful thought,
Be not fearful then, for it is in strength that we are ourselves. Stand up brave against the onslaught of life. Stand strong for your ideas, and never be afraid to be who you truly are. It is not right to wish to be another, though not to wish to emulate the great deeds of another. Yet when you wish to be exactly like someone, be strong, for you are not and can never be them. Fear not evil, for as long as you have no fear of it and are able to be strong, it cannot touch nor harm you. Also mark these words, and mark them well that you can be a better person that I am. Faith can get you though fear, through want, through loss. Know this, and live always in that knowledge. Bear it in mind when things seem bleak, when it seems like giving in is the only way. Your faith can get you through, and there is nothing to fear, ever.
((-Barnas))
((Edits to clear up formatting)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 02 Oct 2003 06:38 PM |
((Bad IG news for Fri'el, cue an angry poem!))
This poem is hastily scribed, and only placed inside the book, not actually part of it. It is obviously not the first draft, but little effort has gone into the presentation in comparrison with the others
And so the thing that you most feared has come to pass,
despite all the effort,
all the pain, all the toil,
it all falls to nothing,
because of the thoughts and acts on an ungrateful Bruja!
For whilst you toiled to please her,
and listened to her sweet words,
all the time she lied,
and the fates conspired against you!
For she has no love inside her,
only hate, and she lives it,
and it burns within her,
and she cares not for you as she enjoys the next,
having left you all alone!
Alone in a cell, not all that far from hell,
having lived to please her,
she simply doesn’t care for you,
and she abandons and leaves!
The pain builds up inside
and you desire nothing more than to hear her say;
that she’s there and it’s all over now,
and in yourself you know that those words would be
the same sweet lies she whispered to you before!
Alas the fates, which leave you here all alone,
whilst she enjoys another,
enjoys her touch, her caress,
when she should be having yours!
Yet now you would not give it,
even if she asked, for you have learnt now,
learnt from your mistakes,
learnt to be strong,
unlike her who is weak!
Strong as yourself, awake at last,
eyes open, fists clenched!
So angry at her, yet so calm.
Finally knowing the truth,
and as you sit here writing this you know that you are learning,
now much calmer, now much stronger, now ready to be alone!
[Edits to clear up atrocious grammar and incorrect line breaks (Was written as prose)] |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 03 Oct 2003 04:39 AM |
This is the first page of the book, the dedication. It simply says...
I hate and I love. How can I do this, you might ask?
I do not know, but I feel like and it torments me.
((That poem is not written by me, but is a translation of poem 101 by Catullus)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 05 Oct 2003 12:14 PM |
((Uh-Oh...back from holidaying, and we know what that means......))
The front page of the book is now complete, and bears only two words, over the page is the introductory poem ((Above, by Catullus.)):
Thoughts.
-Fri'el
The next page of the book is a simple poem, carefully scribed by Fri'el, as if she were trying to capture the very emotions which make her who she is onto paper for a later time
An Ode to the Lost Lover
Mourn and Rejoice!
Oh, You happiest of Lovers!
For now as I sit here,
I feel my love fading!
Alas, this is how it ends,
How this pleasure descends into eternity!
Yet even as I feel this pain,
There are now those who feel it with me
Speaking words of counsel
Offering words of consolation
Though even as I sit here now,
My thoughts turn back to her!
Her face and voice come again unto me,
And I know not if I can resist!
For love so strong as what we had
Does not that easily desist
I asked that I be guided,
The wisest choose to ignore
I wonder what would happen
If I were with her once more
So even as I write this,
Desire brims up again
Yet now with desire mingles
Doubts, Mistrust, and Hate
For these are what I am feeling
For the one to whom I also give my love!
I know her words are falsehoods,
Yet lust for them all the same!
I know she cares not for me,
Yet want her all the more!
I wish that I could change her,
Wish I could make her see,
Yet as I no longer want to be her,
She does not wish to be me.
The next chapter is fairly long, and was evidently written in the same sitting as the above poem. It is, as ever, carefully scribed and has had a lot of thought put into it by Fri'el
On the nature of Confusion and Uncertainty
And so now my mind turns, yet this time does not stop turning. So I am forced to wonder, what is it that I am not sure of? The thing I am not sure of again is love. I encounter another facet of this great power, and am spurned. Yet, even looking at the facts, I am not sure of what I should do. I know that I no longer please she who is most dear to me, and yet still I think, I dream, that we can be together, still desire to be by her side, still desire her caress, her words, her thoughts, still lust for her very essence. And this is confusion. I am unable to decide what to do, because logic and my desires don’t cross over well. We are all confused in our lives, all desire other than what we can get, yet we all solve it in time. And how do we do this? When our desires and logic meet head on, it is logic which wins. Logic which pulls us through, For logic leads to a hard, tangible solution, desire only to more problems.
So I ask this of you. Can a desire be logical? Yes, of course it can. And in these cases, we are able to reconcile what we want and what we can get, thus achieving our desires quickly and easily. Uncertainty arises when we are unable to make this reconciliation and thus what we can logically achieve and what we desire are separate. The uncertainty is whether to follow our desires, or whether to follow logic. And this is truly a most difficult choice, yet the correct path is obvious. We must follow the careful path of logic, and avoid again becoming slaves to our desires, for this is the path which it is best not to travel, as I once did. And so now we can consider uncertainty. Uncertainty is when we know truly what should be done, yet we find ourselves uncertain over whether or not to act as we know we must all the same. So why is this? This is because the path we must take is not the one our desires are leading us down.
Why do we feel as thus? This is because in the end, what we want for ourselves in the future is not what we desire in the present. Be strong through this, and do not give in to that which will be bad for you in the long term. Yet, we are then forced to ask, what is it that we truly desire for ourselves in the long term? For almost all of us, the basic answers are the same. To be accepted, to be happy, perhaps to be loved. Yet our short term goals vary widely, and if we are not careful, achieving these short term goals, or even failing to achieve them, these lesser goals, can make it impossible to achieve the long term goals which it is truly vital for us to achieve that we may feel fulfilled.
Take the desire for a person, which is the snare which so recently snagged my foolish self. I desired this person so greatly in the short term, almost to the point of excluding everything else. Even as it was I excluded enough that had I carried on down that road, all that I truly wanted from a continued life would have been barred from me. Even now, I feel my desire to be so great that I may spurn that which I know to be the best advice, and take up again in my foolishness my life with my dearest, my passion, my heart’s greatest desire- she who also spurns me and wishes not to be with me. We are weak, and we should know this and bear this in mind. When it comes to my dearest, I am simply not strong enough to spurn her. Hate me not for this, for what I have done with her and that I can be with her, but learn from me and take heed of my words. For we can be strong against the whispered voices of desire and live as is best for us in the end.
We can do this always, no matter how strong the desire seems to us to be, Uncertainty and confusion are powerful, yet not a force in themselves. They are a lack of careful thought and cold logic. With these things, confusion and uncertainty no longer matter, for we are able to put aside our doubts and move on into the future in the best way possible. Know this and remember this always when a difficult choice presents itself, and know also that all of us mortals who draw breath upon this plane have been unsure as we are now. Look into their eyes and see it, feel into their soul and touch it. Then know what you must do, act, and look not back that you do not regret what you know you should have done.
The next chapter is slightly shorter, and is the only one to have a coverpage for the chapter. The carefully and beautifully drawn picture is slotted into the book side on, and shows a beautiful dove, white as the snows, flying above Icy Vale. Inscribed along the bottom of the picuture is one word, in caligraphed gold letters: Freedom.
On the nature and importance of freedom
And so now my mind turns to what is now one of my greatest desires, to again be free. To see the stars, the beauty of Icy Vale, all these things which I so greatly miss. And yet, I am now forced to ask, what truly is freedom? Freedom is the power to be yourself as you wish yourself to be. When you are truly free, you can work towards that which you desire and want be logic with neither bars in your way nor holds placed upon you.
Yet freedom goes deeper still than this. There is personal freedom and there is idealistic freedom. For whilst the young noble may be free to move as she pleases, she may yet only be free to think as her parents desire her to. Thus she is truly no freer than I am now. She cannot pursue her own goals, only those of others. Likewise, I am free to think as I wish, yet am unable to complete upon the thoughts, and act, for am no longer trusted to do so any longer. So freedom is the ability to think and act according to what you wish for yourself. This is simple, yet we are forced to ask ourselves the question “Why is this so important?”.
It has taken me the longest time to come up with a suitable answer to this difficult question, yet I believe I have. So long as we are free, we can be happy. Yet as soon as we are unable to choose how we think, and act, our arterial happiness, the thing which keeps our very souls alive, begins the haemorrhage from us. At first, we do not truly notice this in many cases. Yet, as we descend deeper into servitude, and away from freedom, it becomes obvious to both others and ourselves how we are. For both freedom and happiness have then left you, and we become nought more than a shell. Yet why is this? We can find the answer to this question by remembering one simple fact. That happiness is a result of choice. One must choose to be happy, and one must have choice to be happy. So when we are not free, we are ultimately not able to be happy. This is why freedom is so important to us. Because without it, we are unable to be ourselves and without it we are unable to be happy. Cherish and do not take for granted the wonderful freedoms that you have, for as with all the great gifts of the gods, they can be snatched, torn from you forever, in one small twist of the fates.
And for those who would take the freedom and happiness of another, heed well these words! You can take from another that which can be all too easily taken from your wretched self! Nobles, pity those who serve you, and hold not the chains which you place around them too tight, lest those you have so well repressed slip gratefully from your grasp! For though it has taken a long time for my sinful self to realise this, those who are not of noble blood are no less than us. They too have goals, dreams, desires and yes, perhaps it is our role to rule, yet not so much as to repress for those we rule are people also! We should not take their freedom, nor their self esteems, nor their happiness. For those things are sacred before the gods themselves, and should best not be ripped callously from another so lightly as I have seen it done. Remember always how you yourself would feel if you were in the position of those you victimise, or worse, the position I find myself in now!
For all to often, we take the great and wonderful thing that is freedom for granted, thus when it eludes us the fall is so much greater. Treasure this gift in yourself and others, and you shall be a greater and happier person for so doing.
((As always, comments good and bad are welcome, and if you want me to shut up, just say. -Barnas)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 05 Oct 2003 04:31 PM |
((I felt like I had to write -something- when Fri'el got bailed, so I chose her feelings on the reactions of others to her. Oh, and Fri'els depressed.))
The next pages are clearly written as a response to a particular event, though give very little clue as to what it actually was.
On dealing with the hate of others
I suppose it is inevitable that I have to deal eventually with those I have wronged. Now I am facing this challenge, I pen my thoughts on the issue that we may all learn more from my folly than we would else, and thus some good can come out of my ill.
For what can be done when a person who you formerly called a friend shuns your look, hides, and indeed flees your very presence? Unfortunately, there is very little you can do when you are confronted with the hate of another. For the hate they feel towards you is just as real, if better intentioned, than the hate felt in the heart of the most disgusting follower of Menarok himself. Remain calm against this adversity, and descend not to the level of those who hate you, lest their hate be founded in good reason again.
Give not into the hate of yourself or others, and in the end even those who shun your touch shall see your repentance and not spurn you again.
What it is to be hated
To be hated is a torment
To be loved an accolade
When we are despised we are nothing
When we are loved we are the world
If we are hated, we become a plaything
If we are loved, we become an equal
If you are hated, do not despair
If you are loved, savour the moment.
Taste it, enjoy it
Hold onto it, be one with it
When you are hated,
Remember it, be hurt by it
Forget it not
And never return it.
An aside
Take heart from all which has happened, that you may learn from my follies, feel my pains, taste my tears, see my blood as the regret bleeds from me that last time. For I feel my time nearing, and justice comes for me on swift wings. I know it will be my time, so I write that you who reads this make not the mistakes that I have made. Remember what I have written thus far, and likewise what I have yet to write in this little book of mine. My love, my sweat, my tears are the ink on these pages, my torment and devotion the fuel for my arm. For even as I am freer now that I have been for the longest time, I know if cannot last. This is the torment which faces me every day for what I did. So know this, those who would in their wisdom shun me, monsterise me, belittle me, bewitch me. I mean you no harm, wish only to face my fate with the strength I lacked for so long. Watch me do this, watch my blood run red against the snows, and know that there dies my weakness.
((-Barnas)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 07 Oct 2003 05:30 AM |
((My attempt at a poem with a double meaning. It sucks.))
These pages mark the end of Fri’el’s thoughts on emotions, and are scribed more carefully than any others in the book. The poem, the reason for it being written not readily apparent, is titled…..</i>
Summer
And so now,
Even when things seem to turn for the best,
The summer comes,
And the cold is crushed by it’s angry embrace.
The advance of Naruth crushes the snows,
And all the ice is gone-
For this is the time of the year,
When all hope begins to fade.
And all that is dear departs,
Destroyed by that which does not care.
Yet take heart!
For soon winter must regain it’s hold!
And all that is dear shall return again.
Final thoughts On Emotion
The end of my writing on the feelings of men is nigh. I have considered that which is most dear to me, and thought long over many things which the hand of man has shaped, and which shapes the hand of man. And now, I must think of what emotions truly are, what they do, and whether they are truly either good or evil.
Emotions are one of the things that define us as people. They make us who we are, who will become, and what we were in the past. Emotion. Thoughts. Actions. These are the things which define us, and all are intrinsically linked together. Yet, at any time, it is emotion which controls these in most of us. At the most important times of our lives, it is not careful thought which sways our arm, but our dreams, goals, thoughts, and feelings. It is our emotion which forces our hand when we see wrong done, emotion which forces the wrong to be done in the first place. For amongst us mortals, they are the world. Even the great Goddess herself, she who I most revere, is indeed only given my service due to emotion making me listen to her sweet words.
Emotions are the force which drive the world. They truly are both Alpha and Omega, for from the moment we first draw breath, to the moment we hold breath inside ourselves for the last time, they are always there, always a constant, yet always in fluctuation. They are what make us act, and for this reason they are so dangerous.
For it is not that emotions are bad, not that they should be avoided. Rather, we should revel in all the pleasant feelings granted to us by the gods. However, emotions are not a constant, and thus in times of dire need should not be the first thing we turn to. Our feelings, like ourselves, are fickle. Our mind is not thus. When we feel compelled by emotion to do that which we would not do otherwise, great things can be done. More often, unfortunately, we have miscalculated, and suffer as a result. Worse yet, others, even those who we give our love to, may suffer from our impetuousness.
So I urge those who read these words, think before you act. Consider what your action may bring. Even when the pain of the world is within you, know that I have felt it with you, and do feel it with you. For every time I see someone make the same mistakes I have, it tears me apart inside. Remember that we feel together, and remember that no matter what you feel, no matter how bad the pain gets, give not into it. Strength comes from feeling the pain, and turning from it’s dark path, continuing to walk in innocence as I now cannot. When all seems bleak and burnt, remember that you can act such as to make it worse when all the time only trying to make it better. When faced with a choice, think, consider, plan. Do not rashly charge ahead on the impulses of your heart, lest you become consumed by the darker side of emotion, hate, fear, and pain. For once you give into them, it is often thus that you are consumed, and all which you desire becomes forever impossible.
What do emotions truly do? They are our mind. They are our soul. They are what we have, what we always have, and what we can never loose. They can be ignored. We can avoid giving into them totally, and bear logic, thought, and reason above them. Yet they can never go away, and so it can often hurt even when we know we do the right thing. They are so important to us that it is a foolish man who would give them up even if we could. Yet think carefully of them, as I have done, and try to know when it is best to revel, and when it is best to spurn. Learn that, mark that, and you shall be the greatest man who has ever lived. Greater than a fool such as I, greater than the mightiest king. For then, you shall be able to choose wisely in all situations, yet also be able to remain happy, calm, content. Most of all, you would never sink so low as to hate another.
Are emotions good or evil? Should they avoided? What can we do? Ultimately, we cannot answer these questions beyond simply giving the best advice we can to those we come across. And this advice, this knowledge paid for in my blood and chastity, is this. Know that emotion is impartial, neither good nor evil. Know that it is rash, harsh, unforgiving, and able to take control over you. Know that it alone can bring happiness, and alone can bring sadness. With this in your mind, you are as able as any to make the choices which we must all make in our lives.
To revel in our emotions utterly, or to shun them completely. These are not the options I suggest to choose. I counsel, beseech you, however. Whatever path you take, always bear in mind your goals, take into account the pain that you inflict on others, and take not for granted that which you have, for we can loose everything in so short a time it cannot be believed even when it happens.
((Thoughts on personality traits next……-Barnas)) |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 05:46 AM |
((Waffle, waffle, waffle))
This page is written in Fri'el's neat script, with liberal caligraphy and use of expensive gold ink on capital letters
On the Nature of Pride:
It is a sad thing that I come now to write of the very traits which make us who we are, yet I feel that in order that I can understand who we are and why we are, and try to improve the former and gain a deep feeling for the latter, I must think on the aspects of ourselves that others see as others see them.
So what is pride? Pride is the Noble who will not be seen with the commoner, for fear of being thought less of for being seen thus. Pride is when we wish to be seen as strong. Pride is when we achieve a great thing, and gain a feeling of self inside us.
As with so many parts of ourselves, Pride is twofaced. Pride is a weal, and it is a woe. We all need to be proud to a certain extent, yet we must all fight with all our soul to avoid being overtly so. Yet what is a good incarnation of pride and what is not? Who is it that judges this? What is it which makes it right to feel proud of yourself and have pride in your appearance, yet makes it so wrong to have nothing but pride in your appearance?
There are, I have come to realise, three elements which affect this. First of all, there is the interpretation of self by another. This is how we are seen by those around us, and is a very important part of any character trait, as it is one of the three reasons why it actually matters whether you display a character trait or not. The second is how it affects who we are. It is possible to become so obsessed with self that we abandon all else which matters in order to be seen as something. This is excessive pride, and not a good thing. The third is how our Pride affects the way we act. Whilst this is most similar to who we are, I feel it is also vastly different. It is possible to act contrary to your nature due to becoming prideful, and this often precedes your nature changing due to your pride.
The first element I will discuss about pride is the interpretation of self by another. When we are proud, all about us see it. We can see when another is taking pride in their appearance, and see when they are so proud as to feel themselves able to look down upon another. Likewise, it can of course be seen in us. When you look down your prideful nose at someone, they look straight at you in the eyes and know that they are better than you because you are proud and foolish enough to think yourself better than them. And they are right. For you have lowered yourself to the stage that, through seeking to be better than others and thinking yourself to be so, you have acted as if you are. That is where pride becomes a weakness rather than a strength. This is what I have come to realise, and it can be seen that I say true. Why is this? Because to be proud is not wrong, it helps us. When we are proud enough in our beliefs to stand up for them, it is a great thing. When we are proud of ourselves enough to stick up for ourselves in adversity, it is a weal. Yet as soon as our pride makes us looks down on another, and be seen to do so, we have become weak and thus our pride is a woe.
Pride can also affect how we act and who we are. This is the greater danger. For others may think us prideful from these actions which we take, yet it is worse that the pride in ourselves, that great boon, weakens us and makes us act as we naturally would not, just to seem strong, and to avoid being looked down upon. Of course we wish to be strong, and not be looked down upon. A person who wishes these things upon themselves is rare indeed. Yet it is best to be humble when we are strong, that we do not feel above helping others. That is what being strong is about, having the power to make a difference. A child may wish to stop a great evil, yet he cannot. A great warrior may be able to, yet he must be humble, lest his pride fell him in a foul swoop. For when we grow proud in our abilities, not only do we fail to see others as equals, and thus be seen by them as lesser, but we also become weak. We grow in ourselves, through wishing to be strong, a great weakness. And, mark my words well, for the fool now speaks; This weakness will grow! It will fester, rot inside yourself, until the time comes for you to fall, and show your weakness to the whole world! This is the fate which awaits those who become prideful, who look down on others, who would wish to be stronger than the rest.
So what is pride? It is the ability to see strength in yourself. In a strong form, it allows us to be strong and to be capable in ourselves. It allows us to appear well to others. Yet it must be a moderate trait in yourself, lest you allow it to dominate yourself. Beware, lest the opinions of others of yourself become more important to you than the others themselves. Then, in your self obsession, you have grown weak, and staged yourself for you own fall. The second you care more for what the injured child thinks of you than for the injured child’s wounds, you have become Prideful. This is a great malady upon yourself, a sadness, a torment which leads only to pain and woe for yourself, as you seek always to be seen in a certain way. Even if you seek always to be seen as kind, it may be a weakness, for there are times that you must be cruel first in order to be kind. What then? That is why it is always important to value others, their welfare, their emotions, above their opinions of you. Do not seek to forge nor live up to an expectation, to be seen in a certain way, for that is the falliable nature of pride. Seek instead to help, to nurture, to assist. Stand up for what is right, stand up for you are. Then you use your pride as a strength, not as your greatest weakness. Know this well, as I once did not, and you will be a greater person than I can ever be for not once knowing it.
((Please tell me what you think, anyone who actually reads it :P))
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 06:07 AM |
| Out-of-Character: on what aspects do you wish us to comment upon, the ideas, or the language? |
Aria
So talented, so troubled. |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 08:00 AM |
| ((Any feedback is good. Including, but not limited to, "shut up now"More seriously, I suppose I'd like to hear (read?) both of those.)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 08:33 AM |
| As opinionated as ever M'lady *smiles* |
I'm The Cult of Personality. |
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From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 09:40 AM |
((A poem. It's awful, I think, but it sums up how Fri'el's feeling pretty well.))
Alone;
The last snowflake of my winter.
Forsaken by she who I loved;
Spurned by those I would turn to.
My voice cries out to the silence,
I hear my wretched wail;
Yet never the longed for reply.
I feel every morning the pain of what I’ve done
I dream every night of the pleasures from my past.
Will this torment end?
Or will I end before it?
I know not the answers to my questions,
And ask them all again, endure it all again.
((-Barnas)) |
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Re: From the pen of Fri'el Skygem
Posted: 23 Oct 2003 10:35 AM |
| Nice poem, dripping with pain and bitterness. |
I'm The Cult of Personality. |
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